How many of you guys over 40 have actually sign a prenup

[Brasidas]

My wife signed a premarital agreement (PMA). They are not as bulletproof as you think, but they are certainly better body armor. Do your own research about PMA's. I hired a female attorney known for representing women in a divorce who were married to relatively high net worth, high income men. I had her write the PMA. What she pointed out was insightful. She told me that main reasons PMA's get thrown out is that they were egregious at the time of signing. It may be egregious later on based on circumstances but it can't be egregious at the time of signing. 20 years later I'm in the middle of a divorce. It's not bullet proof but I'm much more protected than if I did not have one. Sounds horribly pragmatic, but before you get married, I would go to the NOLO online bookstore and read all their books on divorce. If I told you that buying a house had a 50% of loosing half its value, and you should by all the books you can about buying a house, I guarantee you that you'd buy all those books.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I did, as I brought more assets into the marriage and she moved into my home. Worked out fine with the divorce. Dutch laws. She pays me alimony and child support.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I was married for a very brief time, I don't talk about it much but she basically signed all her property into her sisters name then married me, I was a bit shocked there was no pre-nup on her end since she owned apartment complexes as well as a bunch of houses but once I found out I just called it off like a month later and we amicably parted ways with no cost to either of us.

I would say she out played me but her sister never signed the property back into her name when she asked for them back and now the sister is associated with HA and a bunch of other gangs, shortly after her affiliation began her then husband mysteriously hung himself in a closet at home, guy was a chemical engineer with a very lucrative job, I knew him well and I have a lot of thoughts about it but Jesus what a mess.

Very glad to not be associated with these people anymore, I could probably write a book about that time lol.

One thing I'll say, in Canada we have a legal system, not a justice system, meaning there are biases that exist within the system, statistically you stand a 65% chance of winning a court case of your a woman versus a man, a pre-nup would almost certainly hold up onto her favour and even if I would be awarded a minimal alimony or any sort of compensation, but vice versa id be over a pool of sharks with my financial life dangling in the balance.

 

[FlirtLife]

You do know that she can go to a judge with a lawyer when you're getting divorced and then say she did it under pressure from him to get married, that it was coercion, like either you get the vaccine or you're resigning your job. And if you made more than her and the marriage has some time the judge can throw away the pre-nup

Google it, I read the best way is to have her signed every year, but good luck with that.

A pre-nup where both parties have lawyers, and all assets are disclosed, is legally binding. But don't trust me, trust divorce attorney James Sexton. Rollo Tomassi interviewed him, so you get 3 hours without paying attorney's fees:

 

[FlirtLife]

A prenup isn't as bulletproof as most guys think. A good divorce lawyer can make short work of one.

A prenup someone does without lawyers, sure. But hire your own lawyer - who will tell you to get a lawyer to represent your fiance - and you will get a very strong legal document. At least, that's my understanding from experienced divorce lawyer James Sexton.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’m still too stupidly blue pilled to do a PN. & my GF id starting to push harder for marriage.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I didn’t and it was a huge mistake. A $150k cash mistake.

Maybe, maybe not. Many times they get overriden or even thrown out in court now, so on the bright side, you could have saved on the attorney fees that would have had to pay to have that drawn up and still ended up paying the 150K.

 

[SW15]

A pre-nup where both parties have lawyers, and all assets are disclosed, is legally binding. But don't trust me, trust divorce attorney James Sexton. Rollo Tomassi interviewed him, so you get 3 hours without paying attorney's fees:

That was a good episode. I didn't make it through all 3 hours but saw parts of it.

It took me about 3 separate sittings to go through the 1 hour video James Sexton did with the Soft White Underbelly channel about 1-2 weeks before the Rollo Tomassi conversation.

Sexton mentioned that he had read "The Rational Male" in the past.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Prenups are good but agree that they aren’t 100% bullet proof. I have several other strategies for protecting my assets from my wife, should i ever need. First off, we do not have any joint accounts. Also, I hoard cash. I take out a little each week and hide it in one of several spots. If ever asked in court, “I blew it at the casino your honor. I will go to gambling rehab if you want”. Not much the Judge can do there other than send you to rehab. As for my other methods for asset protection on my 401k, etc., I have some text messages with my wife about that that i think would hold up in court to my favor. She has said, three separate times in text to me, that she doesn’t think she is entitled to my 401k, etc. and that my daughter should get it before her. She would have to explain why she said it more than once and then changed her mind. I do my own legal work and if we divorced i would not have a lawyer. In civil matters i can represent myself much better than a lawyer can. I would drag her through court and tire her out so hard on every tiny thing that she would eventually just let me get things my way because she would just want it over with. I love my wife but i know she doesn’t have even 10% of the mental stamina that i have in big stressful matters. She has even admitted that she wouldn’t be able to deal with me in a divorce and would just want it done quickly. I would exploit her weaknesses in my favor and she knows it. Hopefully I will never have to actually do this, but i have given it thought.

Those text messages wouldn’t be what you think they’re worth if you fought it in certain states. She would simply argue that they were made prior to the litigation and changed her mind on the advice of counsel post filing.

 

[FlirtLife]

Maybe, maybe not. Many times they get overriden or even thrown out in court now, so on the bright side, you could have saved on the attorney fees that would have had to pay to have that drawn up and still ended up paying the 150K.

You have to distinguish between writing a prenup on a napkin (Steven Speilberg) and getting lawyers to create a prenup. Lawyer-created prenups are solid, but I haven't found stats except on the websites of divorce lawyers (who also create prenups).

 

[FlirtLife]

Also, I hoard cash. I take out a little each week and hide it in one of several spots. If ever asked in court, “I blew it at the casino your honor. I will go to gambling rehab if you want”. Not much the Judge can do there other than send you to rehab.

The judge isn't the problem - its a vengeful wife and her divorce lawyer. If they find 1-2 hidden cash stashes and demonstrate you are hiding assets, you can lose big. They can go from seizing 50%, to grabbing 100% of your assets. You might want to research this theory a bit better, because you're not the first one to consider it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You have to distinguish between writing a prenup on a napkin (Steven Speilberg) and getting lawyers to create a prenup. Lawyer-created prenups are solid, but I haven't found stats except on the websites of divorce lawyers (who also create prenups).

Pretty sure they aren't as solid as you think. Kevin Costner is paying far more than the prenup stated he should and paying for a lot of extra that were excluded.

 

[FlirtLife]

Pretty sure they aren't as solid as you think. Kevin Costner is paying far more than the prenup stated he should and paying for a lot of extra that were excluded.

The judge sided with Kevin Costner. He can opt to pay his ex-wife more if he wishes. I'm not seeing the problem you describe: this was "settled with the prenup enforced" per this article.

"Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner's bitter divorce was settled with the prenup enforced and a massive monetary penalty if it is challenged"

Christine had 'no choice but to settle' divorce with Kevin Costner

Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner's bitter divorce was settled with the prenup enforced and a massive monetary penalty if it is challenged.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The judge sided with Kevin Costner. He can opt to pay his ex-wife more if he wishes. I'm not seeing the problem you describe: this was "settled with the prenup enforced" per this article.

"Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner's bitter divorce was settled with the prenup enforced and a massive monetary penalty if it is challenged"

Christine had 'no choice but to settle' divorce with Kevin Costner

Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner's bitter divorce was settled with the prenup enforced and a massive monetary penalty if it is challenged.

www.dailymail.co.uk

See is getting almost double per month what the original prenup stated.

 

[FlirtLife]

See is getting almost double per month what the original prenup stated.

So pre-nups don't work because she got a higher alimony payment instead of 50% of Kevin Costner's assets.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Nope, the marriage contract ends when one of us dies. Half the money is a cheap price to catch a weasel.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's impossible to keep a 401K separate - marriage and divorce WILL result in a QDRO division. However, an IRA in which no further contributions are put in will kept separate (basically like a regular asset in a community-property state), so the thing to do before marriage is to transfer the pre-marriage IRAs to a completely different custodian, and don't add any contributions to it. A pension (for those who still get that, LOL) will be split up similar to a 401K. In a community-property state, an asset that was acquired before marriage - so long as it isn't "intermingled" with community (i.e., post-marriage) property - remains separate. The beneficiary status of an irrevocable trust is also separate (so long as it was competently drafted).

Of course, worrying about assets is only one issue. The other issue is alimony so as to keep the ex-missus in the style to which she is accustomed, and child-support, which often has an alimony-esque component.

As for the whole marriage thing, the only way to properly do it is to only do it after early retiring (which also allows for GeoMaxxing ), and in a community property state, where assets are cordoned off. If still working, there is the risk of having virtually all of one's income hoovered up by the ex and the kids - like a colleague of mine in the late '80s that was left with $600/mo of his ~$5000/mo nominal income. It was depressing as h3ll to see the sorry-looking bologna sandwiches he would brown-bag.

 

[MatureDJ]

Prenups are good but agree that they aren’t 100% bullet proof. I have several other strategies for protecting my assets from my wife, should i ever need. First off, we do not have any joint accounts. Also, I hoard cash. I take out a little each week and hide it in one of several spots. If ever asked in court, “I blew it at the casino your honor. I will go to gambling rehab if you want”. Not much the Judge can do there other than send you to rehab. As for my other methods for asset protection on my 401k, etc., I have some text messages with my wife about that that i think would hold up in court to my favor. She has said, three separate times in text to me, that she doesn’t think she is entitled to my 401k, etc. and that my daughter should get it before her. She would have to explain why she said it more than once and then changed her mind. I do my own legal work and if we divorced i would not have a lawyer. In civil matters i can represent myself much better than a lawyer can. I would drag her through court and tire her out so hard on every tiny thing that she would eventually just let me get things my way because she would just want it over with. I love my wife but i know she doesn’t have even 10% of the mental stamina that i have in big stressful matters. She has even admitted that she wouldn’t be able to deal with me in a divorce and would just want it done quickly. I would exploit her weaknesses in my favor and she knows it. Hopefully I will never have to actually do this, but i have given it thought.

Ha ha. Once your wife's attorney figures out where you have stashed your money, you will lose it ALL, and be prosecuted for perjury. Oh, and if you carefully put it in crypto, be aware that any bank that you try to deposit money from by exchanging the crypto will report it, and the Family Court will presume that that crypto was squireled away while married, with you having to prove that it wasn't.

 

[MatureDJ]

I didn’t and it was a huge mistake. A $150k cash mistake.

How many ejaculations shall we divide that figure by to get the average cost?

 

[MatureDJ]

If no kids and first marriage, don’t need. 2nd or (gasp) 3rd, 4th marriages you absolutely need an ironclad prenup.

Except for having a dutiful caregiver in the last stage of life, I can't fathom anyone remarrying after a brutal division of assets (a "starter marriage" divorce in which everyone keeps their part doesn't count here).