How long was your longest Oneitis?

[Aniki1818]

How long til it went away? Til you were completely and honestly over it without a doubt.

Was there ever rapport? Unrequited love after a breakup? Or just outright rejection from the start? What was the lowest point you've hit and the most embarassing thing you've done in being apologetic and/or pouring your heart out?

Let me have it.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

July 1991 to present. TBH

 

[Aniki1818]

July 1991 to present. TBH

Goddamn, dude. Any history at all?

 

[Scars]

All of third grade.

 

[Robert28]

Year. Well, technically 14 months to be exact. I learned a hard, bu valuable lesson. You’ll NEVER get over your oneitis when you’re around them, talking to them, etc. You have to completely remove yourself from their lives, and I mean completely. Not take a couple weeks off or a month off from seeing them and still texting with them every couple days or whatever. All you’re doing is allowing you’re oneitis to be like a fire that’s died down but will quickly come back when you throw more wood on it. Whoever invented oneitis had to have invented no contact too because that really is the only way. I couldn’t even tell you what her birthday is now, and I knew this girl for over a year. That’s how you get over it.

 

[Aniki1818]

You’ll NEVER get over your oneitis when you’re around them, talking to them, etc. You have to completely remove yourself from their lives, and I mean completely. Not take a couple weeks off or a month off from seeing them and still texting with them every couple days or whatever. All you’re doing is allowing you’re oneitis to be like a fire that’s died down but will quickly come back when you throw more wood on it.

1000%

The withdrawals can be just as hard. The excuses you give yourself to message her, especially on holidays, birthdays, new years etc.

 

[Visionist]

I've had many oneitises (oneiti?) and also a twoitis for identical twins at one point.

It doesn't get better until they're completely out of the picture, and for a good while. Absolute no contact.

Today, I cut off all contact as soon as I develop any sort of irrational crush, even if it costs me. It happened earlier this year when I was teaching a class of young adults which included a nubile, slightly geeky 17 year old. You know the type, wears glasses, dresses in comic book T shirts. Potential virgin although that was probably my little head doing the thinking. Anyway she was underaged and showed no choosing signals besides, so I cancelled the class once a replacement teacher was found.

 

[Robert28]

Oh I’ve caught oneitis many times, not consistently and I can’t even tell you what it is specifically about the girls I’ve caught it for that causes it to happen. I’ve posted pics on here of me with girls and the least attractive one out of the 3 I posted pics of, I had a case of oneitis for. They don’t last a year though like my severe case I told the story about though. You’re never going to get rid of oneitis completely unless you’re just a sociopath or have some mental block. I’ve had to learn how to control mine the best I can because with oneitis, out the window goes game, common sense, frame, everything. It’s like it brings the beta simp cuck out of you that you didn’t know was still linegering.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh I’ve caught oneitis many times, not consistently and I can’t even tell you what it is specifically about the girls I’ve caught it for that causes it to happen. I’ve posted pics on here of me with girls and the least attractive one out of the 3 I posted pics of, I had a case of oneitis for. They don’t last a year though like my severe case I told the story about though. You’re never going to get rid of oneitis completely unless you’re just a sociopath or have some mental block. I’ve had to learn how to control mine the best I can because with oneitis, out the window goes game, common sense, frame, everything. It’s like it brings the beta simp cuck out of you that you didn’t know was still linegering.

Yeah, the folks that "feast" off of folks would never develop a oneitis. They would "miss" that person they were using though.

How are you getting over your "oneitis" situations?

 

[Robert28]

Yeah, the folks that "feast" off of folks would never develop a oneitis. They would "miss" that person they were using though.

How are you getting over your "oneitis" situations?

The one I spoke about that lasted 14 months, we had an argument about something (I forget what it was now) and didn’t speak for like 4 weeks. Longest time we’d ever gone without talking was 10 days. Fight was over something trivial I’m sure because most of the time they were. It ended up saving me though. I wasn’t over her in those 4 weeks but I could feel my mind decompressing from her from no contact and not seeing her. Doesn’t take long if you’ll let it happen.
The others are more tricky, oneitis will hit early on in the dating course for some reason, something clicks, trying to get rid of it while trying to date the girl is TOUGH.

 

[Caelum]

For a month was my longest, and it was recently. Don't think I'll get it again though.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

For a month was my longest, and it was recently. Don't think I'll get it again though.

"get it"? Why not get a new babe that makes you happy enough to not worry about a oneitis?

 

[Robert28]

"get it"? Why not get a new babe that makes you happy enough to not worry about a oneitis?

Because those types of women are few and far between in many areas. That’s why oneitis is so easy to catch, the dating market is so ****ty that once you find someone that’s different than what you’ve been used to, you wanna hold on to that. Nobody wants to be thrown back into the pool of ****ty women.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Because those types of women are few and far between in many areas. That’s why oneitis is so easy to catch, the dating market is so ****ty that once you find someone that’s different than what you’ve been used to, you wanna hold on to that. Nobody wants to be thrown back into the pool of ****ty women.

She was a decent person?

 

[Robert28]

She was a decent person?

Yeah, for the first few months anyways. Then she turned into the covert narcisssit she always was. I just got oneitis from her love bombing stage.lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah, for the first few months anyways. Then she turned into the covert narcisssit she always was. I just got oneitis from her love bombing stage.lol

So it's a monster. And you still haven't shook her off?

 

[Barrister]

Yeah, for the first few months anyways. Then she turned into the covert narcisssit she always was. I just got oneitis from her love bombing stage.lol

This was very similar to my last LTR. Incredible to be with during the love bombing stage — then turned into a complete narcissist. Everything was all about her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This was very similar to my last LTR. Incredible to be with during the love bombing stage — then turned into a complete narcissist. Everything was all about her.

That's not gonna work out huh?

 

[Robert28]

So it's a monster. And you still haven't shook her off?

Oh I did, finally. The thing about dealing with covert narcissist types is when they turn bad, you spend the whole time trying to turn it around back to the lovebombing stage even though it’s impossible.

 

[Robert28]

This was very similar to my last LTR. Incredible to be with during the love bombing stage — then turned into a complete narcissist. Everything was all about her.

I mean you hate to turn cynical the next time you meet someone that’s so nice to you and treats you well, but that’s the mentality you carry for awhile after going through something like that. The only types of men these narcissistic women (covert especially) can’t chew up and spit out are cold hearted sociopaths. And narcissist usually aren’t attracted to those types.