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How long was your longest Oneitis?

Barrister

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I mean you hate to turn cynical the next time you meet someone that’s so nice to you and treats you well, but that’s the mentality you carry for awhile after going through something like that. The only types of men these narcissistic women (covert especially) can’t chew up and spit out are cold hearted sociopaths. And narcissist usually aren’t attracted to those types.
Agreed. And hate to say that I hung on for much longer than I should have due to the oneitis I had for the person I thought she was. In a much better place now without her in the picture.
 

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Robert28

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Agreed. And hate to say that I hung on for much longer than I should have due to the oneitis I had for the person I thought she was. In a much better place now without her in the picture.
Well look at it this way, she’s had a lifetime perfecting that type of personality. That’s what makes them dangerous, you have no idea what you’re walking into. Once you experience it though, hopefully you’ll recognize the signals next time but don’t let it make you crazy thinking EVERY nice woman is a narcissist in the beginning.
 

Aniki1818

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Oh I did, finally. The thing about dealing with covert narcissist types is when they turn bad, you spend the whole time trying to turn it around back to the lovebombing stage even though it’s impossible.
From what I've learned after TRM, you do the same as soon as she withdraws after the Love bombing stage. You double it with dread game and competition anxiety. You give hints you are out fcking around or dating but she can never actually confirm it. You just make it look like you are. ie sampling perfume and telling her you were with a friend or answering texts in front of her. It sparks her imagination and builds attraction.

The options are always, either you risk losing her by building jealousy and pulling away when she does which is 50/50 or lose her completely by begging and/or trying to fix things to what it was before,
 

oc16

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About 3 years.

A big breasted blonde in my high school class. She was in my graduating class, but none of my classes. My friends sister told me this girl thought I was "cute" and she was the first attractive girl that ever noticed me (so I Thought) hence the crush.

My oneitis was so bad I would think about her 24/7. If she gave me a big smile in the hallway I was on cloud 9, if she ignored me I was depressed the whole day.

I even joined the color guard in the marching band so I could be around her (she was a drum major).

This went on from the end of sophomore year in high school to my freshmen year in college.

I couldn't even fathom going out with another girl since I would be "betraying her and the fantasy" in my head.

Of course nothing ever happened because she was popular and in AP classes. I was shy, in track 2 (average intelligence students) and not popular (but not an outcast). Basically, I thought she was out of my league.

Most embarrassing moment: My friends were over and in my room looking at my yearbook. I had circled a heart around her picture and they saw it. One of the guys had classes with her and also had the hots for her. I am sure he told her about the yearbook.

I look back on it now and think how foolish it was, she's wasn't even that attractive, but had long blonde hair and very large breasts.
 
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Aniki1818

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About 3 years.

A big breasted blonde in my high school class. She was in my graduating class, but none of my classes. My friends sister told me this girl thought I was "cute" and she was the first attractive girl that ever noticed me (so I Thought) hence the crush.

My oneitis was so bad I would think about her 24/7. If she gave me a big smile in the hallway I was on cloud 9, if she ignored me I was depressed the whole day.

I even joined the color guard in the marching band so I could be around her (she was a drum major).

This went on from the end of sophomore year in high school to my freshmen year in college.

I couldn't even fathom going out with another girl since I would be "betraying her and the fantasy" in my head.

Of course nothing ever happened because she was popular and in AP classes. I was shy, in track 2 (average intelligence students) and not popular (but not an outcast). Basically, I thought she was out of my league.

I look back on it now and think how foolish it was, she's wasn't even that attractive, but had long blonde hair and very large breasts.

It's happened to the best of us. Or the worst of us lol.
 
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Robert28

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From what I've learned after TRM, you do the same as soon as she withdraws after the Love bombing stage. You double it with dread game and competition anxiety. You give hints you are out fcking around or dating but she can never actually confirm it. You just make it look like you are. ie sampling perfume and telling her you were with a friend or answering texts in front of her. It sparks her imagination and builds attraction.

The options are always, either you risk losing her by building jealousy and pulling away when she does which is 50/50 or lose her completely by begging and/or trying to fix things to what it was before,
Oh I made a lot of mistakes with her, but honestly I don’t think normal game would have worked. It would have bought you a couple extra months maybe but that’s it. The thing about this woman is she had a pattern, all of her relationships she told me about had one thing in common.....they all lasted “about a year”. She never gave a specific time limit but she mentioned that to me several times and the timelines match up. I was doing something right and didn’t even realize it because my lovebombing stage came about 3 different times during the course we dated. It got shorter each time but that’s how they hook you, if you turned them back 3 times why not try for a 4th? You’re basically playing with a woman that can’t love, doesn’t show affection (except in the beginning and she’s faking it then).
 

Robert28

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About 3 years.

A big breasted blonde in my high school class. She was in my graduating class, but none of my classes. My friends sister told me this girl thought I was "cute" and she was the first attractive girl that ever noticed me (so I Thought) hence the crush.

My oneitis was so bad I would think about her 24/7. If she gave me a big smile in the hallway I was on cloud 9, if she ignored me I was depressed the whole day.

I even joined the color guard in the marching band so I could be around her (she was a drum major).

This went on from the end of sophomore year in high school to my freshmen year in college.

I couldn't even fathom going out with another girl since I would be "betraying her and the fantasy" in my head.

Of course nothing ever happened because she was popular and in AP classes. I was shy, in track 2 (average intelligence students) and not popular (but not an outcast). Basically, I thought she was out of my league.

I look back on it now and think how foolish it was, she's wasn't even that attractive, but had long blonde hair and very large breasts.
It’s never too late to look her up on Facebook and ask her to finally let you motorboat them tittays.lol
 

oc16

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It’s never too late to look her up on Facebook and ask her to finally let you motorboat them tittays.lol
Haha, shes married now. I am not even friends with her on facebook. Shes 42 or 43 now, so way past her prime.
 

Aniki1818

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Oh I made a lot of mistakes with her, but honestly I don’t think normal game would have worked. It would have bought you a couple extra months maybe but that’s it. The thing about this woman is she had a pattern, all of her relationships she told me about had one thing in common.....they all lasted “about a year”. She never gave a specific time limit but she mentioned that to me several times and the timelines match up. I was doing something right and didn’t even realize it because my lovebombing stage came about 3 different times during the course we dated. It got shorter each time but that’s how they hook you, if you turned them back 3 times why not try for a 4th? You’re basically playing with a woman that can’t love, doesn’t show affection (except in the beginning and she’s faking it then).
Pretty much what I'm dealing with now. I got into this the past few weeks. Someone I was seeing since last year admitted to me since the beginning that she had cheated on all 3 of her past LTR bf's. Red flags. She was a hot stripper so I ignored it and fell in love with. If you want the full story you can check my original post. I came home on March 11 from a work trip and found out she was shacked up with someone else in quarantine. At 32 i'm just learning about Red Pill.

Thinking back, even if I applied all the game, like you said it would've bought me maybe just another month or 2. Too many men stalk and and text her regularly. TRM taught me to rid the mentality that she is the hottest I'll ever get, which is what I thought up until now.

She is 32, with no future prospects. No car, no estate. Paying too much for rent. Drinks and smokes weed daily.Hates going back to the club but she hasnt even saved enough for a business or go back to school...OF course, back then I was trying to get her to pursue her passions or get ideas for her to exit that line of work . She would flip out and say I'm criticizing her and that she doesn't need my judgment etc. I should remained indifferent and just stayed building attraction. The problem was, I wanted serious with her, I wanted to lock it in. I wanted her to be mine. I poured my heart out. She ran off...

After a while, I felt like i was walking on eggshells talking to her cause she would flip so easily. Huge mistake on my part for being apologetic and trying to help.
 
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Robert28

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Pretty much what I'm dealing with now. I got into this the past few weeks. Someone I was seeing since last year admitted to me since the beginning that she had cheated on all 3 of her past LTR bf's. Red flags. She was a hot stripper so I ignored it and fell in love with. If you want the full story you can check my original post. I came home on March 11 from a work trip and found out she was shacked up with someone else in quarantine. At 32 i'm just learning about Red Pill.

Thinking back, even if I applied all the game, like you said it would've bought me maybe just another month or 2. Too many men stalk and and text her regularly. TRM taught me to rid the mentality that she is the hottest I'll ever get, which is what I thought up until now.

She is 32, with no future prospects. No car, no estate. Paying too much for rent. Drinks and smokes weed daily.Hates going back to the club but she hasnt even saved enough for a business or go back to school...OF course, back then I was trying to get her to pursue her passions or get ideas for her to exit that line of work . She would flip out and say I'm criticizing her and that she doesn't need my judgment etc. I should remained indifferent and just stayed building attraction. The problem was, I wanted serious with her, I wanted to lock it in. I wanted her to be mine. I poured my heart out. She ran off...

After a while, I felt like i was walking on eggshells talking to her cause she would flip so easily. Huge mistake on my part for being apologetic and trying to help.
So weird that she’s 32. The girl I mentioned was 33 and had the same going nowhere kind of life. I saw her last year (think she’s 35 now) and her looks have faded FAST. She’s still got the hint of what she had but she’s losing it fast. She also smoked weed daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, rented a house (never going to own one in her life probably), worked retail as some assistant manager, chasing after the same types of guys. I treated her well, didnt simp too hard but I did stuff for her that no one else ever did. Example, she’s a huge Alan Jackson fan, so I took her to an Alan Jackson concert and I have connections in Nashville in the country music business and was able to get her a personalized autograph and hand written letter from him to her for her birthday. They won’t forget guys like us, be prepared for a phone call or text or message in a few years. The wall had a way of making them think back on their life and guys like us stand out. Not saying simping is good, but dial it back some and you’ll be ok.
 
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JayAce

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Oh I made a lot of mistakes with her, but honestly I don’t think normal game would have worked. It would have bought you a couple extra months maybe but that’s it. The thing about this woman is she had a pattern, all of her relationships she told me about had one thing in common.....they all lasted “about a year”. She never gave a specific time limit but she mentioned that to me several times and the timelines match up. I was doing something right and didn’t even realize it because my lovebombing stage came about 3 different times during the course we dated. It got shorter each time but that’s how they hook you, if you turned them back 3 times why not try for a 4th? You’re basically playing with a woman that can’t love, doesn’t show affection (except in the beginning and she’s faking it then).
everything you’re describing is what my last ex did a few years ago. lovebombing in the beginning, etc. I wasn’t even naive a few years ago and I still somehow found myself falling for her. she was damn good at faking it...

at the end of the relationship she was stone cold and didn’t care if I fell off a cliff. all this happened in less than a year. she was also still lovebombing me a few weeks before she took her mask off.

I didn’t recognize the person she was at the end of the relationship and to think that’s who she was the whole time....

that stung for a long while. I didn’t want it to be the truth
 

Robert28

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everything you’re describing is what my last ex did a few years ago. lovebombing in the beginning, etc. I wasn’t even naive a few years ago and I still somehow found myself falling for her. she was damn good at faking it...

at the end of the relationship she was stone cold and didn’t care if I fell off a cliff. all this happened in less than a year. she was also still lovebombing me a few weeks before she took her mask off.

I didn’t recognize the person she was at the end of the relationship and to think that’s who she was the whole time....

that stung for a long while. I didn’t want it to be the truth
The funny thing is if you back off awhile, I bet you could go back and start the love bombing phase all over. That’s if the relationship didn’t end badly. If you “unmask” them yourself then you’ll never be able to go back. But I didn’t know what I was dealing with so I never unmasked her even though she took hers off a few times. I figured up my patters with her though and she could never go more than 3 months before she’d turn from great to bad.
 

darksprezzatura

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Many months pre-redpill

Maybe a couple of weeks afterwards

The only difference reflected in my actions - keeping distance, spinning plates, having options, improving self, continuing to approach and knowing that there are many many women out there who like my life.
 
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Aniki1818

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TRM mentions, it takes one REAL bad experience, almost life changing. OR he calls it Zeroed out, where every man at one point has to rebuild everything from scratch (most likely men in LTR's who has been screwed out of custody or divorce) that they turn red pill, because nothing else makes sense. They start to wake up and face reality. Everything they have known about relationships in movies and other popular fiction is completely false.

It's not a get back at the world type anger. It's more of a ...fck, why did I not see this coming? It all makes sense now.
 

StacksHitEmUp

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Oneitis is only as bad as you allow it to be IMO. I've had it in the past and let it eat me alive. Now I still get it but I remain rational and don't allow it to consume me but I embrace it instead and enjoy it while it lasts because everything is temporary.
 
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NSX-R

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Around 16 months. Met her again recently for a coffee and felt nothing so I’m confident to say I’m over it . Learned lots of things. Actually recently i met a new one which looks/behaves almost exactly as the one i had oneitis for . I think universe/karma/god call it as you like might want to test me . Let’s see .

I didn’t mentioned that we were together for some time Cause most of the stories i read in this thread is about guys fantasizing about having a relationship with a woman . Hopefully never lost it so much . But yeah , it happen to the best of us sometimes .
 
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Robert28

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Around 16 months. Met her again recently for a coffee and felt nothing so I’m confident to say I’m over it . Learned lots of things. Actually recently i met a new one which looks/behaves almost exactly as the one i had oneitis for . I think universe/karma/god call it as you like might want to test me . Let’s see .

I didn’t mentioned that we were together for some time Cause most of the stories i read in this thread is about guys fantasizing about having a relationship with a woman . Hopefully never lost it so much . But yeah , it happen to the best of us sometimes .
Did the 16 month girl end up contacting you to meet up or how’d that end up happening? I’ve always been worried my former oneitis’ will come back.
 

Robert28

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Here’s the thing about oneitis. If you can somehow FORCE yourself to step back from the girl you have it for, the world has a way of sending other women into your life. Usually happens quick, and sometimes it’ll send you more women than you can handle. The thing is, those women were always there, you just had blinders on. A new woman will get you over oneitis faster than anything can.
 

stormrider

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My one itis lasted for 5 years. It was crazy. I had never been passionate about anything or anybody up until that point. That's when I realized I was a machine. A switch turned on and I couldn't help but to feel completely attached. After i woke up from my slumber I went out to the internet and argued with any body who believed in a disney fairy tale romance. All that emotional energy had to go somewhere. I had a nuclear reactor inside of me. So I became a male seducer and approached thousands of women in every time of the day and sleeping with hundreds. And then one day that emotional energy left and I stopped approaching. Soon the hormones left.

At this point in my life, I don't care about success, love, money, or anything that normal people care about because I've had it all and none of it made me happy. The only thing that makes me happy is self love and doing the right thing in every moment. Rationality. If I know that I am solid, there's nothing that can take me away from my contentment. But if I know I am not solid, no amount of validation in the world can make me happy. In a sense, stoicism is the only thing that I follow nowadays. It's the art and science of inner enlightenment.
 
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