How long can you bang a girl without catching feelings?

[BadBoy89]

How long can you bang a girl without catching feelings?

Forever.

 

[soulforge]

It depends…certain type of girls I just catch feelings for regardless of if I’m in spinning plates or not. It’s always the bubbly, adventurous type women for me

The bubbly adventurous types.. risky business.

 

[soulforge]

Define what is meant by "catch feelings".

Is this synomous with falling in love?

Yeh I would say so.. maybe not so much falling in love, but more enjoying being around them and not wanting that to end.

 

[jhonny9546]

if your system produces this as expected then it will happen

We're saying that oneitis it's a biological thing

 

[plumber]

We're saying that oneitis it's a biological thing

partially. but tell me again exactly what is oneitis. how does it start and how does it end. making sure we talk about same same.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

but more enjoying being around them and not wanting that to end.

The problem is, not being able to accept when (if) it ends.

No one wants a good thing to end..but when you can put yourself in a mental space where your mentality is that of indifference..

"Dont get me wrong, she's cool and we share great times together...but I'm good with her, and I'm good without her."

This^ is the mentality a man should have, at ALL TIMES.

And if you ain't at that level, you have some leveling up to do.
........

A man with an abundance mindset (and/or with plate options), don't have such problems.

But a man with a scarcity mindset, may run into these kinds of issues.

These issues fade away when you are having the proper rotations.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There are many factors that go into it for me. Sometimes it happens very quickly, sometimes it never happens. Sometimes it happens when I'm in a dry spell and have little to no options, something it happens when I have a rotation going and have much higher relative SMV/abundance. I can't even draw a correlation between how attractive the woman is/how good the sex is and the likelihood of catching feels, I've been with attractive woman and had great sex but had zero feelings for her.

The only thing that does seem to be a factor is how much much chemistry/connection I have with the woman but even that isn't very correlated with how likely I am to catch feelings or not catch feelings.

No one wants a good thing to end..but when you can put yourself in a mental space where your mentality is that of indifference..
........
These issues fade away when you are having the proper rotations.

I believe it's a big mistake to rely on an external strategy like plate spinning as a cope for a lack of adundance/indifference. Why would a man need to rely on other women unless he was afraid of scarcity? What happens if the rotation dries up? The point is, indifference/abundance is something you cultivate internally, not externally.

I've been seeing a girl for 4 months now and I have zero feelings from her and I wouldn't give a shvt if I never saw her or talked to her again. I'm not seeing any other woman and quite frankly don't have the time, energy, or desire to. So doesn't that mean I should have onetis for her?

Yet there have also been times where I *was* plate spinning, sleeping with multiple attractive women and constantly talking to new ones, but I still developed onetis for one particular girl, because my sex-addled brain was so distracted from juggling all of them that I wasn't paying attention to manipulative tactics that got me attached to her.

If a man is prone to getting scarcity/onetis and he tries to use plate spinning as a preventive measure, it's cope. Why? Because he's not actually addressing the root of the problems ie inner game, which is paramount even in plate spinning because the game never end, women will manipulate any man who shows signs of weakness, carelessness, etc.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I believe it's a big mistake to rely on an external strategy like plate spinning as a cope for a lack of adundance/indifference. Why would a man need to rely on other women unless he was afraid of scarcity? What happens if the rotation dries up? The point is, indifference/abundance is something you cultivate internally, not externally.

I hear you.

You say, it comes from the inside-out.

I say, it comes from the outside-in.

Dissecting both concepts is a task.

I am reminded of a dated Chris Rock bit, when he was speaking on the OJ Simpson murder trial, the concept of divorce, and men that pay alimony.

"If you have 20 million, and your wife wants 10 million (in a divorce), big deal. You ain't starving."

"But if you only have $30,000, and your wife wants $15,000; you may have to kill her".



That^ sums up the abundance vs scarcity mindset, in a nutshell.
.....

Losing one, if you have 10..doesn't have the same effect of losing one, if you only have 2.

That's why guys should always be out there playing the game and building up your rotations...because relationships fizzle, grow stale, and run it's course.

 

[jhonny9546]

I've been seeing a girl for 4 months now and I have zero feelings from her and I wouldn't give a shvt if I never saw her or talked to her again.

Why do you keep her so?

Because he's not actually addressing the root of the problems ie inner game, which is paramount even in plate spinning because the game never end, women will manipulate any man who shows signs of weakness, carelessness, etc.

How do you test your inner game in the specific scenario?


Also, I must admit that If a woman show me what I'm searching for .. a "good match", I could get "affectionated", quickly. That's not oneitis, but I start to develop a sort of "respect" for her person, wanting to show her to "love" herself like I do. (taking care with my fitness, diet, grooming, going out for walks, being social, being in nature, be kind, etc..)

I wont start bringing her any sort of gifts or buy stuff, but actually wanting to create or make activities for our time togheter, like reserving my time with her after the thing I usually do on my lifestile, like doing a card game, or going for a walk, or a dinner, being out visiting a place.

It's more like what you do with your "best" male friends..

That's why guys should always be out there playing the game and building up your rotations...because relationships fizzle, grow stale, and run it's course.

The rotation thing is not endless. There will come a point where the age gap with single women will create problems in terms of connection and they will only be with you for the money. That is why the further you go, the harder it is to rotate. You will have single mothers and you will have to take that into account.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The rotation thing is not endless. There will come a point where the age gap with single women will create problems in terms of connection and they will only be with you for the money. That is why the further you go, the harder it is to rotate. You will have single mothers and you will have to take that into account.

?

 

[Sophisticator]

Where is the problem in 'catching feelings'? Having feelings doesn't mean you suddenly become some submissive doormat.

 

[soulforge]

Where is the problem in 'catching feelings'? Having feelings doesn't mean you suddenly become some submissive doormat.

It's about avoiding catching feelings for the wrong one.

I'm a firm believer, developing feelings for a girl is inevitable if you have sex with her for long enough. (Unless you have multiple chicks in your rosta you are smashing)

 

[Chow Mein]

I evaluate what perks she can offer to my life.

Does she travel for work? Great! I can be her companion and she’ll be mine.

Does she work in the medical field? Sweet, she can be my first pass if I feel like something is wrong

Does she work in events? Heck yeah, free passes

Service industry, finance, etc.

I’m all about expanding my experiences and knowledge, I make sure my partners can provide that.

 

[Sophisticator]

It's about avoiding catching feelings for the wrong one.

So maybe just not dating the wrong one? If you don't date the loonies and the bimbos, not much chance on catching feelings for them.

 

[jhonny9546]

It's about avoiding catching feelings for the wrong one

Hmm, I hope there's a right one who will see you having feelings for her, for such a positive thing, and not a reason to start to feel bored and start searching for another "branch"

@Chow Mein
Those things mentioned are just temporary, aren't they?

 

[Smok1nAce]

I develop feelings for all the women I intend to sleep with or do.

the only thing is I recognize those feelings and still think logically.

 

[coldapproach]

Not much

 

[Prepostereax]

Now that I've read Art of Seduction, I recognise that the women I caught feelings most for, exemplified at least one of those archetypes (Siren, Coquette, etc)
A couple of them, so much so, that I wonder if they've read that book too (or some article in Cosmo that distils it) ..

ie they were clever, possibly experienced women. Emotionally intelligent, that is.

In contrast, no matter how good looking she may be, I've never caught feelings for an utter bimbo.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I’ve always needed to gel with the woman as a friend essentially. I’ve hooked up with women that never did it for me in the social aspect and then as they grew closer I grew further away and I broke it off. Then I’d go dry for a bit and I’d ask myself why I gave up that kind of recurring action over that mentality. One of these women could have opened some doors for me professionally but it just wasn’t something I wanted to do. I screwed that girl 9x in 48 hours and was just like yeah I’m done. On the contrary, women I like on the social aspect that exhibit the right emotional vibes I go for and sometimes hard. Then I have to reign myself in and make sure I’m playing the game properly. So long story short for me, it’s all about the way she exhibits her femininity mixed in a way that makes me think she’s a social companion and thus a keeper.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Is that the same for women too?

No. Women are like a an iron. It heats up SLOWLY and so do women too. Women slowly warms up....

It can take one month or even more before she is hooked on you, while many men and especially AFC's fall way too quickly and get too involved, gets the oneitis sickness too fast.

They fall way too fast for her beauty and that she is so "hot" and fall short of seeing her red flags and bad personality.
Don't fall for that trap.

Always ignore her beauty and instead observe what she do and how she interact with other people. Is she kind and have god personality? Does she have good strong connection with her parents (especially her father), her mother (and how is her mother matters too, because she will likely become like her over time) and her siblings etc.? Is she kind to that bartender or waiter, or old man on the street or a total self centered cvnt?

Actions and personality traits matters and she wont be hot forever, but her personality will be there forever...