How have you successfully gotten out of the friend zone?

[RustleYourJimmies]

Can we post some stories about how you guys successfully got out of the friend zone? Looking for a but of advice and motivation, thanks

 

[Blurry]

While it definitely is possible, it is not worth it.

I don't care how special, perfect, beautiful, smart, funny she is, it is NEVER worth your time. Being in the friend zone means she is not sexually attracted to you, thats it, tough, move on.

There are millions of women out there who are better than her, so why waste your time. Go do something productive, because if you do somehow manage to jump the ladder out of the friend zone, who do you think will be wearing the pants in that relationship. You will be whipped, not a good position to be in.

This isn't what you are looking for, but it needs to be said. Find a girl who already likes you, rather than trying to convince one to.

 

[SamTheHobit]

It probably depends on your situation.

But the old tried and tested no contact worked for me. All I did was no contact and after 4 months we were 'dating'.

I haven't been in the friend zone for years lol but I'd try something along the lines...

Well depending if she knows you like her... Just go no contact and surly enough she will ask why so quite or not talking to me etc.. Then say something like I just don't think friendship with you is good for my mental health.. Leave it vague...

Note distance is important in escaping the friend zone..

You will probably receive text saying is there something wrong with me?? Etc

Keep distance.. Use this time to learn to stop being such a wimp..

Make this girl as emotional as possible, when she texts you again tell her to **** off.. You need to create pain, and sure enough the more you push her away the more she will pull you in..

Next step try and get a meet up which I'm sure she'll jump at the opportunity, show her the new you and the just man up and kiss her and see what happens most likely she accept this and you will live happily ever after lol

And no I don't think it's afc, you gotta make these chicks as emotional as possible good or bad it doesn't matter.


Note:This is either great advice or really bad, I don't really know.

 

[flashpoint]

ya i wanted to post this one a while ago, but then forget. Although not sure how seriously in a friendzone i was there to begin with. so this might not be exactly what you are looking for but i still want to share.

girl was a friend and former ex of a buddy of mine. we were pretty friendly with each other and back then i was my usual harmless self. she kinda liked me but since i didnt make a move ... well you get the idea.

then a couple years later and after i have come across David deangelo and all that stuff, i was ready to try a few things and this was the perfect opportunity. i happened to go to my friends hometown for attending a concert and this girl and a friend of hers came too. i didnt know that beforehand and frankly didnt mind either, but when i heard i told myself here is your chance to see what is possible. and i had a few arrows in my arsenal.

anyways when we met she gave me the opportunity to use a self deprecating remark of hers and tease her with it. they came from playin volleyball and she said something that she might stink or so. well of course i said something along "now that you mention it, it really reeks a bit". and she really got embarrassed lol. and that was my play with her during the whole concert. there was even a moment when someone close to me REALLY stunk and i made a remark about it and she missunderstood and got really quiet. haha. i had "hurt" her. it was golden. other than that i would often just leave them and talk to friends of mine and such. obv not givin too much attention here. and then there was a banter when she suddenly said, "u used to be so nice and i thought we really understand each other" and i told her " well .. not any more" with a half serious face. i think that was when she got wet haha.

so when we grabbed drinks afterwards 2 girls 2 boys, we had a little chat the 4 of us and somehow it pretty soon was turning around dating, first meeting, relationship and so on. what a surprise ;-) so when we discussed the perfect date i was pretty blunt about how it would go down. like maybe starting watching a movie but but very likely not finishin it because we'd have other things to do. more implying than saying what exactly would happen, but she got the idea. and frankly i mostly rehashed a dating scenario i v read with david deangelo. ya i was pretty clueless before so ... anyways she LOVED it. and what was really sweet was when she came up with her romantic fantasies and i basically smashed them with a grin. she LOVED it you could tell. and long story short in the end she asked for my number and you could see how much she wanted it and how nervous she was. i felt like da ****. still RAFC i didnt capitalize on that unfortunately. i was to much satisfied with my "victory". and knowing i really can do this. and i am good at it as well. (the other girl in the scenario had made pretty big eyes also ;-))

well i never called her after i got home. it was more of an experiment anyways. only got a call a few months later from unknown number, some chicks giggling and all in the background, i hardly understood. turns out that was her. well i was occupied already so that was the end. but interesting what a long lasting effect good game can have.

lessons i v learned: u have to smash the comfort zone. for you AND for her. be upfront. making her a little or even very uncomfortable is never a bad idea. be your new me. even if you have to fake it, pull it tru. dont act to compensate for the way she might think of you or might have thought of you. instead start from scratch. be your best self, dont give a shyte and be very aggressive in your approach. and of course a few years in between help to blurr the picture of you anyways.

maybe not exactly the same as hanging on to someone you were totally into for far too long and all of a sudden go mr hyde on her. better go mr hide first. hth in any way.

 

[FairShake]

Alcohol. Weed. The music of Bjork.

 

[bigneil]

Date equally hot women and tell her good (true) stories.

 

[Packers2010]

to say it's not worth it. is an understatement.

but here's my story anyway...

it was December and i was going to a u2 concert. ( jay-z was playing)

so me and this friend go to this concert. and i get a text from the girl that's fried zoned me. she is seeing what i am up too and tell me she is getting drunk with her friends at her house and " suggestively " tell me to come over she needs a guy there.

so i come over after the show and have a few drinks. after that we have sex.

i don't really know what happened though she stopped my half way threw and game me some bull**** about being drunk and that she didn't want " my first time" ( yeah it was my first time) to be special and not with someone drunk...

i think it was the part i told her to bend over I'm fooking you doggy. when she freaked out.

it's ok though 3 days later we did it again.. then for the next months week kept hooking up.. was good.. till she met someone else and i got crushed hurt and flipped out and killed the friendship..

i'm sure she will call me again when she looses her current boyfriend. this time round i'll be more wiser.

 

[Desdinova]

I really don't want to give you false hope here because getting out of the friend zone is NOT a common thing that happens. It's the exception to the rule. Nevertheless, here's my story which I lovingly copied and pasted from another post...

During my learning period, I had become friends with a girl I had approached at the bar. She was smart, nerdy, and had a nice body. I didn't focus on her the whole night, but I frequently went to her table and conversed with her. When she had left the bar to take a bus home, I was kicking myself for not getting her number. I was ready to swallow another lost opportunity, but the friend I was with said, "Get your ass out there and offer her a ride home!" I figured it would look totally stupid to her, but giving this idea a shot was better than doing nothing. So, I hopped in my truck, drove to the bus stop, and she was still there.

I said, "You want a ride home?"
She replied, "I don't really know you."
I responded with "Well, I don't really know you either!"

After a slight hesitation, she climbed in and I drove her home. When we got to her place, I asked for a number exchange. She complied, and I went back to the bar to tell my friend what happened. "See! I told you!" he said proudly. I learned that it's better to risk looking like an a55hole than risk missing out on an opportunity.

I wasn't going to call her until the third day, just as I had read in the DJ Bible. To my surprise, she called me the next day. We became very good friends, and hung out often over the next nine months. I was still suffering emotionally from my breakup with my fiancee, but she didn't seem to mind being my emotional tampon.

I started dating another girl my ex's sister introduced to me. She was very boring, but at this point I was happy to be getting ANY new experience with women, so I put up with her talking about her stupid friends. I decided to keep my dating life private from the other women in my life. I didn't tell my female friend I was dating somebody.

My female friend also became a subject for experimentation. I became playful with her and initiated kino. I didn't expect it to go anywhere, so I just had fun with it. over time, I began noticing a change in her behavior toward me. She would find reasons for us to do things together, and she was phoning more.

I decided to take her out to my favorite hangout with me one Saturday night. When the song "Amazed" came on, she asked me to dance. I hated the fvcking song, but I went along with it. There are certain times when I'll chime into something that's going on, but continue to ignore it. I was getting a look from her that subconsciously told me that she's absolutely crazy about me. But again, she was just a female friend so I ignored it. When the night was over and I drove her home, she said, "when we were dancing, I felt the urge to kiss you... Can I kiss you?" I said nothing, took my glasses off, and put my lips on hers. After she went into the house, I bounced up and down with excitement. I was now dating two women at once! This was the moment where I knew I had succeeded in becoming a Don Juan.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I really don't want to give you false hope here because getting out of the friend zone is NOT a common thing that happens. It's the exception to the rule. Nevertheless, here's my story which I lovingly copied and pasted from another post...

During my learning period, I had become friends with a girl I had approached at the bar. She was smart, nerdy, and had a nice body. I didn't focus on her the whole night, but I frequently went to her table and conversed with her. When she had left the bar to take a bus home, I was kicking myself for not getting her number. I was ready to swallow another lost opportunity, but the friend I was with said, "Get your ass out there and offer her a ride home!" I figured it would look totally stupid to her, but giving this idea a shot was better than doing nothing. So, I hopped in my truck, drove to the bus stop, and she was still there.

I said, "You want a ride home?"
She replied, "I don't really know you."
I responded with "Well, I don't really know you either!"

After a slight hesitation, she climbed in and I drove her home. When we got to her place, I asked for a number exchange. She complied, and I went back to the bar to tell my friend what happened. "See! I told you!" he said proudly. I learned that it's better to risk looking like an a55hole than risk missing out on an opportunity.

I wasn't going to call her until the third day, just as I had read in the DJ Bible. To my surprise, she called me the next day. We became very good friends, and hung out often over the next nine months. I was still suffering emotionally from my breakup with my fiancee, but she didn't seem to mind being my emotional tampon.

I started dating another girl my ex's sister introduced to me. She was very boring, but at this point I was happy to be getting ANY new experience with women, so I put up with her talking about her stupid friends. I decided to keep my dating life private from the other women in my life. I didn't tell my female friend I was dating somebody.

My female friend also became a subject for experimentation. I became playful with her and initiated kino. I didn't expect it to go anywhere, so I just had fun with it. over time, I began noticing a change in her behavior toward me. She would find reasons for us to do things together, and she was phoning more.

I decided to take her out to my favorite hangout with me one Saturday night. When the song "Amazed" came on, she asked me to dance. I hated the fvcking song, but I went along with it. There are certain times when I'll chime into something that's going on, but continue to ignore it. I was getting a look from her that subconsciously told me that she's absolutely crazy about me. But again, she was just a female friend so I ignored it. When the night was over and I drove her home, she said, "when we were dancing, I felt the urge to kiss you... Can I kiss you?" I said nothing, took my glasses off, and put my lips on hers. After she went into the house, I bounced up and down with excitement. I was now dating two women at once! This was the moment where I knew I had succeeded in becoming a Don Juan.

This story kinda sounds like she was in the friend zone.

 

[Desdinova]

This story kinda sounds like she was in the friend zone.

When I initially got her number, she made it clear that she didn't want to date me. She was also very much stuck on her ex at that point. She is the one person who literally watched me evolve from AFC to DJ.

 

[SamTheHobit]

When I initially got her number, she made it clear that she didn't want to date me. She was also very much stuck on her ex at that point. She is the one person who literally watched me evolve from AFC to DJ.

Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Huffman]

You can only truly exit the zone if you truly stop caring about the girl.

After that, if she comes back, it's too late anyway. History repeats itself, but this time it's you who is turning her down.

Bottom line: many months of suffering, gain nothing, except a tiny bit of pride.

 

[Huffman]

Also,

I hated the fvcking song, but I went along with it.

THIS times 100! Damn us guys with good taste in music, how the hell are we supposed to dance with girls

 

[Who Dares Win]

To leave the friend zone two elements are necessary and others are plus.

The necessary ones are:

1)Your increase in value till matching or passing her desire line.

2)Your unavailability to her.

The first one can be achieved through your general success but usually an improvement in the look department is the short way, build muscles and dress well as much as improve your attitude.

The second one actually is harder than the first one for many guys, at that point you have to stop trying to get her even if you want, its great if you are plates that you like for real but the necessary requirement is to subtract the validation and the comfort you provided to your target which made her taking you for granted and no longer a challenge. (Huffman has a point as well).

The optional ones which catalyze the process are good looking girls around you or even guys taking you in great consideration, this improve and speed both the effect of both point 1 and 2.

A further help can come from facts which puts her in a hurry and threat your availability to her like an incoming work in an other city for you, which catalyze point 2.

Just a side note about nr.2, when you subtract validation from her you should move in the neutral uncaring field not in the "anger one", if a girl sees that you treat her badly she get validated anyway cause she know you're doing it after her rejection hurt you.
Ignoring her and treating her with politeness but uninterest when you casualy meet is the right attitude.

Personally I suggest anyone whos improving his life to remove any person or place which caused them to suffer or that remind them of the old failing self, the change should be total and there should be no more place for the old inadeguate self.

 

[Renegade357]

Can we post some stories about how you guys successfully got out of the friend zone? Looking for a but of advice and motivation, thanks

No because the friend zone means the chick does not like you. End of story.

 

[MisterD]

Find a girl who already likes you, rather than trying to convince one to.

This is the golden rule of dating/game. If you follow this, you cut your failures in half and double your success.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

LoL, you know what's funny? In looking back, I realize that during my AFC days when I wasn't able to read women's cues all that well (and didn't have nearly as much confidence as I do now), there were several instances where female "friends" of mine started to show interest but I didn't take advantage of it.

Off the top of my head I can remember 3 (all of which took place in college):

#1. I became friends with a girl freshman year who I ended up tutoring for math. I knew she had a BF back home so I never tried to get with her. However, during the times we'd study, she would be asking me all sorts of intimate questions, doing light touches/brush ups against me, speaking sexual talk, etc....

I wasn't trying to get with her; by not doing so, though, i was displaying all the things girls like about a guy: having my own agenda, not always being readily available to her, showing her a good time when we WERE hanging out...

The tell-tale sign of her interest in me: I went home for a few days and when I came back to campus and checked my phone messages there was one from her that said (in a semi-sensual voice): "Hey... I was just calling 'cause i was near your dorm and was hoping I could stop by and see you... well... give me a call when you get this message..." Never did take advantage of it...

#2. Me and this girl (friends for 2 years) had been flirty with each other all semester, and I could tell we liked each other. However, her actions started to become mixed (showing interest, then not showing interest). I thought it was because she didn't know how much I liked her... so I called her up and told her. Long story short, it KILLED her interest, and our conversations became limited.

I took a semester off to go touring with a theater group. During that time, I didn't contact her AT ALL since I really, REALLY needed to get over her. Occasionally I'd go to the school and see everyone else BUT her... but, since we had the same group of friends, I knew word would get back to her that I had been around, thus letting her know I had not gone out of my way to see her.

Prior to the tour being over, I stopped at the school one last time and went to a graduation dinner for some of the upperclassmen in my program - and she was there. By this point I was over her and was able to be cordial, but still didn't try to have any extensive convos with her.

Anyway... so, that summer I was heading down her way - not to see her, but because I have relatives in the area - and she randomly calls me up and asks me what I'm up to. I said, "Funny enough, I'm heading near you to see family." She replied, "oh, well, do you have time to stop by and say hi while you're in the area?"

I had no idea what was up, but I said "Sure." I get to her apartment, walk up to her door, ring the bell....

...and she opens the door, wearing what had to be the most revealing set of dressy nightwear I had ever seen her wear. Boobs dang near up to her neck, tight curves showing... plus her makeup was done up, hair lookin' tight... needless to say, I was shocked.

So yeah... but at the time I was still a virgin, and still trying to wait 'til I was married. And, since she knew this about me, I figured there was no WAY she was trying to sleep with me...

:crackup:

Oh man, what an AFC I once was! The third story is even MORE tragic... but yeah, it's possible to change friends to lovers or whatever, and it CAN be worth it with the right person. However, it's easier to date a girl when you both go in with the intention of having a relationship (or FB situation) than it is to start off as "just friends."

 

[Fenix94]

It probably depends on your situation.

But the old tried and tested no contact worked for me. All I did was no contact and after 4 months we were 'dating'.

I haven't been in the friend zone for years lol but I'd try something along the lines...

Well depending if she knows you like her... Just go no contact and surly enough she will ask why so quite or not talking to me etc.. Then say something like I just don't think friendship with you is good for my mental health.. Leave it vague...

Note distance is important in escaping the friend zone..

You will probably receive text saying is there something wrong with me?? Etc

Keep distance.. Use this time to learn to stop being such a wimp..

Make this girl as emotional as possible, when she texts you again tell her to **** off.. You need to create pain, and sure enough the more you push her away the more she will pull you in..

Next step try and get a meet up which I'm sure she'll jump at the opportunity, show her the new you and the just man up and kiss her and see what happens most likely she accept this and you will live happily ever after lol

And no I don't think it's afc, you gotta make these chicks as emotional as possible good or bad it doesn't matter.


Note:This is either great advice or really bad, I don't really know.

Naw, this works. I've done it.

 

[perseverance]

I've never been one to try and change a girls mind, she either likes me or she doesn't. If she does, then let's go some, if she doesn't, it's no big deal, different strokes for different folks. It's the women who like me that matter, not to the ones who do not.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I've never been one to try and change a girls mind, she either likes me or she doesn't. If she does, then let's go some, if she doesn't, it's no big deal, different strokes for different folks. It's the women who like me that matter, not to the ones who do not.

Way to persevere Bro.