"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How have I gone wrong

toasttopper1879

Don Juan
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The girl I've got to know recently has really left me pissing against the wind.I've really no idea what went wrong,if in fact it has gone wrong.I've already posted this week but now I'm well baffled and a bit curious as well.
I get to know the girl,shes friendly toward me so I up the ante and start the ****y funny and get a good bit rapport started.Again she responds and the kino starts.
All the time I remain unfazed and allow the connection to build up.She starts to ask questions about me,my past n my ideas for the future and she wants to share hers.The flirting becomes in my opinion quite strong.Lots of fun fights,tickling,touching in places yer dont touch your mates and conversations about sex occur quite often.Her body language is wide open and too a tee she shows just about every sign of attraction there is.Even other people have noticed our actions and pointed out things maybe going on.
But and its a big BUT.She has a boyfriend.Quite a recent one and I did know this.She claims to really like this boyfriend,she doodles his name etc and likes to occasionally tell me how wonderful she thinks he is.I dont bite and i refuse to become her tampax so I can quite easy change or avoid the subject when its brought up.
My question is.I really cant understand where I've gone wrong here.Everything sat up nicely for a result but the boyfriend thing creeps in.What sort of surrogate have I allowed myself to become cos theres no way I've allowed myself into a friend zone.I cant understand how a girl can be so interested on 1 hand and not on another.I know i should nt listen to her words and I should just stick to her actions but on this occasion I cant,even if my gut says everything will be ok.Maybe i've become too aloof and left her wondering too much about me.I really dont know.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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stalluproar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2005
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Twin Cities Metro, MN
Since you will not be allowed into that friends zone, now is the time to be blunt with her. The next time she brings up the subject about her BF and how wonderful he is, challenge her on it. Accuse her of picking you up and you doubt she actually likes him. Then lean back and withdraw a little and see how she responds. This is a good test to throw at her to see if she is bluffing or is serious about him.
 

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
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Oslo, Norway
Dude, you worry too much. Just chill and let the chips fall where they may. From the sounds of it, she picked another guy for a boyfriend that wasn't you. Tough situation. I've been there, I know what it's like. But as it is, you're gonna give yourself a bad case of oneitis for her, if you haven't already. Chill out, distance yourself from the situation. Oh, and GFTOW and let us know if she still seems important.
 

becker

Master Don Juan
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You're not doing anything wrong, the girl is obviously an AW, and just likes the attention she gets from males. It's like a drug for her. She knows she's in a fine position because she can flirt with you all she wants, and knows she has you, yet can pull out the BF card whenever she wants to get out of things with you.

Simple case of greed. Some women ARE that evil, and don't think for a second that just because she's being nice to you, she's not like that. My last girlfriend was like an absolute epitome of innocence, but even she had this in her. It's an inherent characteristic of all women. That's why you always wait until she makes the move to insist on being exclusive before you do.
 

toasttopper1879

Don Juan
Joined
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Location
england
Having read the legendary Pooks insights on this,he claims there are two different ways why a girl mentions a boyfriend.If she says how she feels about him then shes a non runner but if she mentions what she just does with him then shes possibly just doing it for social proofing.Am I correct in assuming this.
This girl says she normally gets fed up with a boyfriend after 3 months and wants space but this time shes not fed up and enjoys cuddling up .I pointed out that maybe she's found the One and she said she hoped so.I told her maybe they should move in together but she said no,she still liked her space.
Not sure what catagory this fits into in pooks law but it bloody baffles me.
Someone pass me the oneitis buster pills please.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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