"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How has your kindness changed over time?

jhonny9546

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For years, I've known a person who seems to have built his entire life on understanding and satisfying the needs of others. Instead of following his own passions and his own path, he studies the desires of those around him and slowly positions himself as the one who fulfills those needs. Over time, these people begin to depend on him, and he ends up in very advantageous positions.

Some examples:

• His girlfriend wanted someone who could work with her father and take over the family business. He never openly said, "I want that job." Instead, he slowly got involved: studying small things, getting certifications, showing up for work. He even said things like, "I'll never be a manager; I'd rather be a janitor." Eventually, he became exactly what she wanted,a manager and his father's right-hand man,but he built it as if she believed it was her idea.

• His father manages a basketball team. He started out simply helping carry the equipment on Sundays. He didn't even care about basketball, but gradually took on more responsibility and eventually became a manager of the organization.

• With his younger brother, he positioned himself as a sort of mentor. He gives advice on cars, careers, and life decisions, but does so in a way that makes his brother feel like he's making all the decisions himself.

• With his uncle, he began accompanying him every Saturday to check on the swimming pools he manages. He never directly asked him to take over the business, but over time, his uncle decided to name him his heir.

This pattern is repeated everywhere. He seems very good at identifying people's emotional or practical needs and then becoming the person who meets them. The result is that he appears highly respected, influential, and well-connected. Many people around him rely on him. But at the same time, it seems like his life is built around the interests of others rather than his own
... so I'm curious:

Have you ever met anyone like this? What kind of personality or mindset is this? Is it strategic intelligence, manipulation, or something else? Is it toxic? Do we have some red flags to filter someone like this to be Narcisist, Sociopath or Psycopath?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Dr. Whiskers

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Have you ever met anyone like this? What kind of personality or mindset is this? Is it strategic intelligence, manipulation, or something else? Is it toxic? Do we have some red flags to filter someone like this to be Narcisist, Sociopath or Psycopath?
Me. It's called "going the extra mile". And this principle is a pillar in TRUE, enduring success. You serve, serve, serve, without thought of gain. Then suddenly. Boom! Great blessings start coming your way.
 

BackInTheGame78

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It shouldn't change at all, true kindness is just who you are.

"Fake Kindness" is the hallmark of a "Nice Guy" who thinks being extra kind entitles them to sex from women and then gets mad when it doesn't happen.
 

Dr. Whiskers

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It shouldn't change at all, true kindness is just who you are.

"Fake Kindness" is the hallmark of a "Nice Guy" who thinks being extra kind entitles them to sex from women and then gets mad when it doesn't happen.
I would also add "Nice Girls" do this too. They act outgoing and "flirty", expecting resources. But when they don't get them, that vibe quickly disappears and they get bitter of the guy.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Scaramouche

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Hi Jonnie,
Yes,People do change,I consider myself much kinder after going through the life changing experience of having a Son Fighting Leukemia,quite visceral....At the time I was managing a Building/Engineering firm and money was everything...After?Money was the last thing on my mind,I was a softer person even somewhat Spiritual.
 
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