How has so suave affected your relationships?
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wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Better...I've spent less time feeling sorry for myself, and more time meeting plates.
Ain't nobody gotz time for dat!!!
Ain't nobody gotz time for dat!!!
Serenity
Moderator
This place helped improve things by a lot. Definitely for the better, not sure if I'd be in a relationship without this forum and if I did I wouldn't have a clue what to do.
This forum is of course generally biased in favor of men, which can potentially cause problems (narcissism with little regard for women in particular). But it's the perfect counter-balance for guys who bend to the will of a woman, mostly at his own expense. Such as what I had, an unhealthy regard for the needs of others and disregard for my own needs.
While it has improved my love life it has certainly also angered and frustrated me, but wanting to beat the sh!t out of anonymous guys on the internet rather than my SO.
This forum is of course generally biased in favor of men, which can potentially cause problems (narcissism with little regard for women in particular). But it's the perfect counter-balance for guys who bend to the will of a woman, mostly at his own expense. Such as what I had, an unhealthy regard for the needs of others and disregard for my own needs.
While it has improved my love life it has certainly also angered and frustrated me, but wanting to beat the sh!t out of anonymous guys on the internet rather than my SO.
The game is a dance an art form. You won't die without art but your life will be the poorer for its absence. I'm sure most of the younger members don't realise how much knowledge is here if you dig a little past the surface.
Not only does game exist but there are many different varieties of sub game. I went through a phase in my thirties when I discovered online dating where I tried out of a lot of different personas. I'd have a bad boy profile intellectual profile sensitive artist profile etc. And guess what they all attracted girls who were drawn to that particular niche.
And courtesy of meetup.com various what's on sites and my innate ability to skim learn quickly I could build a temporary lifestyle to suit that girl. This crazy phase lasted about a year. You might say I was faking it to all these girls. Not entirely because I do have all those sides to my nature. What it taught me was how to market those attributes.
Now after a while the attraction would wear off because they really we're into a specific type who was not me. Some of the breakup speeches I got were hilarious. I had one beautiful Croatian red head with a lovely little dusting of freckles who I'd introduced to outdoor sex and had the pleasure of in many public sites in my fair City. She started off by saying that she loved having sex with me and she'd had the most fun ever on our dates and kept going saying basically I was her perfect man and then looked confused and said she had to break up with me. Now after being through those experiences it would be pretty hard for me to believe that game doesn't exist.
The site is a buffet and the search feature is your door ticket. Dig in guys
Not only does game exist but there are many different varieties of sub game. I went through a phase in my thirties when I discovered online dating where I tried out of a lot of different personas. I'd have a bad boy profile intellectual profile sensitive artist profile etc. And guess what they all attracted girls who were drawn to that particular niche.
And courtesy of meetup.com various what's on sites and my innate ability to skim learn quickly I could build a temporary lifestyle to suit that girl. This crazy phase lasted about a year. You might say I was faking it to all these girls. Not entirely because I do have all those sides to my nature. What it taught me was how to market those attributes.
Now after a while the attraction would wear off because they really we're into a specific type who was not me. Some of the breakup speeches I got were hilarious. I had one beautiful Croatian red head with a lovely little dusting of freckles who I'd introduced to outdoor sex and had the pleasure of in many public sites in my fair City. She started off by saying that she loved having sex with me and she'd had the most fun ever on our dates and kept going saying basically I was her perfect man and then looked confused and said she had to break up with me. Now after being through those experiences it would be pretty hard for me to believe that game doesn't exist.
The site is a buffet and the search feature is your door ticket. Dig in guys
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I used to be all about looks but surprisingly SS has made me look for personality more.
So many guys on this forum get burned by BPD I vowed to never let it happen to me. I screen for everything particularly whether the girl has a nice personality. I was hooking up with a Latina last year but she started to have red flags so immediately stopped contacting her. Normally before SS I would have kept contacting her but now I have 0 tolerance for ****.
I overall care less now. I realized that most of my negativity was in my head and didn't actually exist. I also realized that there are a lot of guys out there who don't want to get married and that is comforting to me. I feel like if I hadn't found SS I would have based my self worth on what my coworkers thought of me.
So many guys on this forum get burned by BPD I vowed to never let it happen to me. I screen for everything particularly whether the girl has a nice personality. I was hooking up with a Latina last year but she started to have red flags so immediately stopped contacting her. Normally before SS I would have kept contacting her but now I have 0 tolerance for ****.
I overall care less now. I realized that most of my negativity was in my head and didn't actually exist. I also realized that there are a lot of guys out there who don't want to get married and that is comforting to me. I feel like if I hadn't found SS I would have based my self worth on what my coworkers thought of me.
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
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- 5,403
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- 7,893
- Age
- 57
It's helped me better understand and empathize with men. It's given me perspective to understand the market and dating realm my kids are about to enter (which helps me prepare them better to navigate it).
It's confirmed many things I already understood well and educated me about some things I didn't understand well.
Positive influence tempered with humor & understanding from my view.
It's confirmed many things I already understood well and educated me about some things I didn't understand well.
Positive influence tempered with humor & understanding from my view.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
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- 16,697
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- 9,836
From what I read here, I feel sorry for them.
Roober
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2016
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For me, it is not only about finding SS, but about the resources I have found as well with reading, youtube, etc. This place is great post breakup because so many here have been through it and are generally very supportive because we come from many different levels of AFCness...
With women -
-I was a complete panderer, supplicator, etc. I have realized that is just ridiculous and stupid. Women want to feel a man's love, not his shallow gifts that any dude could buy
-Become much more assertive with women... dates, sex, communication
-focused on getting better in the sack
-I can attract 8s and 9s!
With my boys..
-I can't wait to teach them to be a man, the way a man should be...
-Can't let my exwife limit their growth
With my male friends...
-I feel like I am outgrowing most of my old high school buddies partially because of what I have learned
-realizing connections with more successful people is more important, I have some deadend friendships merely due to time and loyalty. Often times, I don't connect as well with the party type of dudes.
Myself
-re-emphasized what I have learned about body language and communication
-improved my physical health and realized the importance of that
-got rid of time suckers - tv, videogames, social media, etc.
I would say overall, what I have learned through this place and tons of reading is a change in my mindset, which has inherently affected everything else...
With women -
-I was a complete panderer, supplicator, etc. I have realized that is just ridiculous and stupid. Women want to feel a man's love, not his shallow gifts that any dude could buy
-Become much more assertive with women... dates, sex, communication
-focused on getting better in the sack
-I can attract 8s and 9s!
With my boys..
-I can't wait to teach them to be a man, the way a man should be...
-Can't let my exwife limit their growth
With my male friends...
-I feel like I am outgrowing most of my old high school buddies partially because of what I have learned
-realizing connections with more successful people is more important, I have some deadend friendships merely due to time and loyalty. Often times, I don't connect as well with the party type of dudes.
Myself
-re-emphasized what I have learned about body language and communication
-improved my physical health and realized the importance of that
-got rid of time suckers - tv, videogames, social media, etc.
I would say overall, what I have learned through this place and tons of reading is a change in my mindset, which has inherently affected everything else...
greatsnake
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2017
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- 648
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- 313
- Age
- 37
- i now see romantic relationships as a business relationship. They give, you give-- thats it.
- i've learned a lot about the psychology of women
- has helped me define the skills that i've had, so I do things on purpose and at the right time
- being proactive vs reactive
- has helped me see breakups as an opportunity and not a defeat
- i've learned a lot about the psychology of women
- has helped me define the skills that i've had, so I do things on purpose and at the right time
- being proactive vs reactive
- has helped me see breakups as an opportunity and not a defeat
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,697
- Reaction score
- 9,836
I've always been somewhat annoyed by all the posters who come on here and say "OMG! SoSuave has profoundly changed my life. Thank you so much". Annoyed because I kind of wish I could say the same. But the truth is I was too old when I came here, I had already been through the self improvement stage, I had already learned the more important aspects they teach here through trial and error, I had already learned I had to keep my self respect, I had already learned not to trust women, I had already taken up weight lifting in my 20s, I was lucky enough to grow up in a time, place, and family that I already had masculine values, etc etc. Plus I was old enough to be somewhat set in my ways.
That said, I do think SoSuave has had an overall positive effect on my life and relationships. Just because I think it has strengthened my resolve to keep the frame and stay to my own course. I'm sure it would have had a bigger effect on me if I had come here in my late teens or early 20s. But I doubt that it would have taken me anywhere that I wouldn't have ended up anyway.
That said, I do think SoSuave has had an overall positive effect on my life and relationships. Just because I think it has strengthened my resolve to keep the frame and stay to my own course. I'm sure it would have had a bigger effect on me if I had come here in my late teens or early 20s. But I doubt that it would have taken me anywhere that I wouldn't have ended up anyway.
soulforge
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
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This.. SS is helping me realise that there is no tolerance for bad behaviour..
If she doesn't treat you well.. if there are red flags.. get the fuk out asap.. forget about how good she looks..
Your mental health, self respect and happiness is the most important thing that matters
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2016
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- 1,546
I have been here for about 6 months now and I joined the forum to seek some way of reestablishing things with my ex who dumped me. At first, guys here telling me "she is ****in' someone else" seemed cruel to me, but then I understood what they meant. It helped me a great deal to move on, but not in the way you guys would probably think. I started gaining perspective a lot and very quick here and as some of the older members here know, I started sharing thoughts and advices of my own with other members. Giving out to this community, as much as I possibly can, helped me heal myself faster. Knowing that my advice and thoughts were appreciated by some guys I will probably never meet and influenced them even 10% helped me feel more confident overall.
Add to this the fact there are many people with some golden viewpoints and experiences they share and I think this is a very good thing in my life.
Add to this the fact there are many people with some golden viewpoints and experiences they share and I think this is a very good thing in my life.
Augustus_McCrae
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2012
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SS and reading Rollo have been a tremendous help in my understanding of women and relationships.
-Augustus-
-Augustus-
sazc
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 23, 2016
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Apparently I need to spin more plates. First I have to get over the repulsion I have to rando-stranger pen1s tho.
I'm working on that. (not really)
Insert self serving, attention seeking, sarcastic joke about "anyone around willing to help?"
I'm working on that. (not really)
Insert self serving, attention seeking, sarcastic joke about "anyone around willing to help?"
Cawk carousel rider alert! AWing!!Apparently I need to spin more plates. First I have to get over the repulsion I have to rando-stranger pen1s tho.
I'm working on that. (not really)
Insert self serving, attention seeking, sarcastic joke about "anyone around willing to help?"
Your penance should be to hire a professional photographer to take pictures of you wearing original star trek outfits with no panties on, posing provocatively then upload them to photofeelmyselfup to then upload them here with your "smart and trustworthy" scores at 99.999.
sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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Make no mistake, I am in training to hopefully some day force myself to like the idea of some random stranger I literally met in the last six hours sweat on top of me while he tries to stealth me and then claim it must have "fell off and he didn't notice".....
I have huge doubts that will ever be my "thing" tho #fail
Live long and prosper!