"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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How Effective and Powerful is REFRAMING?

DJSMILE79

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I've been using this NLP technique(Reframing)for quite a while and it doesn't seem to have the effects many people say that it has.

Do you guys have a different story ?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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xblitz44x

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Well it depends on HOW you are using it, and in what situations. If you can get more descriptive and post exactly what happened in one or more situations I'll tell you what I think.

-Blitz
 

DJSMILE79

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It seems to work only when I am using it. ie during a week, as long as I don't stop listening to my own voice on the tapes it works within that period of time(ie 3 times a day during a week, its effects are for that week, if I stop listening it stop the effects). So is this reframing technique permanent? if yes for how long am i supposed to use it?
 

PlayerinTraining

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If you consider the fact that your prior POV (or frame) had developed after YEARS of practice, it is easy to see that casting it aside and taking a new POV will most likely take considerable time and effort.

(Rapid, instantaneous change IS possible, but unusual).

I suspect you are at the point where you have to CONSCIOUSLY reframe a situation. All that means is you need a bit more practice with your new frame. With enough practice (and positive reinforcement), you won't have much trouble with your new POV.
 

MattB

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What is reframing?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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PrinceCharming

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Originally posted by MattB:
What is reframing?
By REFRAMING you could mean two things. One of them is the six-step reframing technique which is explained in "Frogs into Princes" the earliest book in NLP.

The second one is about reframing a situation so that it has a different meaning to you. This can be divided into two pieces. Content Reframing and Context Reframing.

Content Reframing
This is about giving a different meaning to the content of the conversation. For example if a father worries that his son is too violent, and you say to him "Good thing, now you don't have to worry about anybody messing with your daughter" you are shifting the "frame" from not useful, to useful.

Context Reframing
This is about changing the context of the behavior and assumes that this behavior must be useful in some other context. For example saying dirty words to your g/f while having sex may arouse her, but saing it while having coffee will get her mad. So by changing the context of the behavior you shift people's view on a particular behavior. They thought it was bad, but now in the new context they can see how it is useful and now they beging to like it.

[This message has been edited by PrinceCharming (edited 11-23-2002).]
 

oreo_renegade

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bump

stayin alive, sayin alive, ah ah ah ah, staying aliiiiiiiiivveeee.

:D
 
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