"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How Effective and Powerful is REFRAMING?

DJSMILE79

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I've been using this NLP technique(Reframing)for quite a while and it doesn't seem to have the effects many people say that it has.

Do you guys have a different story ?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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xblitz44x

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Well it depends on HOW you are using it, and in what situations. If you can get more descriptive and post exactly what happened in one or more situations I'll tell you what I think.

-Blitz
 

DJSMILE79

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It seems to work only when I am using it. ie during a week, as long as I don't stop listening to my own voice on the tapes it works within that period of time(ie 3 times a day during a week, its effects are for that week, if I stop listening it stop the effects). So is this reframing technique permanent? if yes for how long am i supposed to use it?
 

PlayerinTraining

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If you consider the fact that your prior POV (or frame) had developed after YEARS of practice, it is easy to see that casting it aside and taking a new POV will most likely take considerable time and effort.

(Rapid, instantaneous change IS possible, but unusual).

I suspect you are at the point where you have to CONSCIOUSLY reframe a situation. All that means is you need a bit more practice with your new frame. With enough practice (and positive reinforcement), you won't have much trouble with your new POV.
 

MattB

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What is reframing?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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PrinceCharming

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Originally posted by MattB:
What is reframing?
By REFRAMING you could mean two things. One of them is the six-step reframing technique which is explained in "Frogs into Princes" the earliest book in NLP.

The second one is about reframing a situation so that it has a different meaning to you. This can be divided into two pieces. Content Reframing and Context Reframing.

Content Reframing
This is about giving a different meaning to the content of the conversation. For example if a father worries that his son is too violent, and you say to him "Good thing, now you don't have to worry about anybody messing with your daughter" you are shifting the "frame" from not useful, to useful.

Context Reframing
This is about changing the context of the behavior and assumes that this behavior must be useful in some other context. For example saying dirty words to your g/f while having sex may arouse her, but saing it while having coffee will get her mad. So by changing the context of the behavior you shift people's view on a particular behavior. They thought it was bad, but now in the new context they can see how it is useful and now they beging to like it.

[This message has been edited by PrinceCharming (edited 11-23-2002).]
 

oreo_renegade

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bump

stayin alive, sayin alive, ah ah ah ah, staying aliiiiiiiiivveeee.

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