I, like everyone else on this board, hates being an afc. After my last breakup I turned into a complete afc (begging her back, other embarassing ****). How does one gain back respect from the person they acted like a dipshyt in front of? Ive secluded myself for months, put on weight, etc. What else works/helps?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
How does one gain back that respect?
- Thread starter Xeno
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
^true enough^
cactus3178
Senior Don Juan
Not always true. Story time:
My ex (not the current, new ex, but the one before) broke my heart and left me a wimpering, whiny sack of begging SH*T. She walked all over me and had ZERO respect for me. Finally, she left me with a broken heart and hell of an emotional mess.
So one day, I just finally said f*ck it, and didn't call her again. It was hard as hell at the beginning, but as time went by, day by day I realized I didn't need that b*tch to be happy. Started hanging with my boys, dating girls, and the ex found out eventually. Once she realized that I could live without her, she got jealous. She started calling and leaving messages at my house yelling at and threatening my new girlfriend (who's now my new ex
). I gave her NO play. She finally realized I was really done with her, she moved to California and we didn't talk for months, thank God. We've been split up for about 4 years now.
Fast forward to today (last six months is more like it). She calls me DAILY. I either forward it to my VM or sometimes I talk to her for a few, just civil sh*t. She's actually married, but always asking if we can ever get back together....I just let it float......f*ck no, b*tch I think in my head........Who's got who by the 'balls' now? She's on the phone crying, telling me how sorry she is that she left, saying her new husband is a d*ck, etc.
The point is that at one time, she called the shots. Now, I do. She had no respect for me while I kissed her ass. Now, it's reversed. And reversed it will stay.
EDIT: I forgot to add, I later found out from one of her friends that she told everyone that I could "never live without her because I loved her too much". God, what an AFC impression I must have made on that girl! The nerve!
/psycho rant
Lesson of the day: Things can be reversed. Interest, trust, and even your own balls can be regained. Just ask yourself if it's worth getting her interest again.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
You realize that her's is not the only pvssy that can keep your schnauzer company. Once you've gotten over your one-itis, you move on.
Don't wait or expect her to come back. She might when she sees you stopped giving a sh1t, but if that's why you stop, you're doing it for the wrong reasons and dooming yourself to yet more abysmal failure.
Instead of asking how you can gain her back, why don't you ask why you care so much to begin with? Is she your last hope for female companionship or what?
-Cyrano
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ok you have two choices. You can...Originally posted by Xeno
'is she your last hope for female companionship?'
She feels like it.....
1) Keep that feeling you have, relegating yourself to a miserable life of video games and internet porn.....or....
2) Pick yourself back up believing that you can improve yourself such that you are never disrepected like that again. You can resolve to be a man, to be masculine, to be what this site calls....a "Don Juan".
The choice is yours.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
::sniff::
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
survivor I choose...
...choice two myself
...choice two myself
Well put.
Xeno, we have all been there, it is how bigger heart you have and how much of a warrior you are, mentally! You need to fight on and live your life. You cant base your entire existance and happiness around one person. You make what you are!
Cactus, man, you have absorbed a lot of sh*t in your life with girls!! Didnt you learn after the first time never to be disprespected like that again?!!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
cave dweller
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2004
- Messages
- 572
- Reaction score
- 6
move on
I know of only two ways to heal a broken heart.
1..Get back with her.
or
2. Move on with your life and find another.
I think you should say to yourself "To h*ll with her, NEXT."
cave dweller
I know of only two ways to heal a broken heart.
1..Get back with her.
or
2. Move on with your life and find another.
I think you should say to yourself "To h*ll with her, NEXT."
cave dweller
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
If you're being sarcastic, I should smack you for that.Originally posted by Xeno
'is she your last hope for female companionship?'
She feels like it.....
If you're being real, I should smack you twice.
Only women obsess over a dress.
-Cyrano