"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How does it feel to be in your prime?

Noahwilson

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Random question, but what does it actually feel like to be in your “prime”?

People always talk about your 20s or 30s being your prime years, but I’m curious what that actually means to people. Is it having more energy, feeling stronger, being more confident, having your life figured out… or is it just being old enough to know better but young enough to still do stupid things?

For those who feel like they’re in their prime right now, what makes you feel that way?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Duke

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I think my prime was in my late 40's. I had the most energy, dedication, drive, understanding, motivation, looks, and money. I definitely was assured and felt like I could have and do whatever I wanted. It's what winning feels like.

My energy and motivation is starting to slip and my tolerance for morons & games is fading. I don't have much left to prove to my self. I'm ok with passing the torch to someone else.
 

zekko

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Random question, but what does it actually feel like to be in your “prime”?

People always talk about your 20s or 30s being your prime years, but I’m curious what that actually means to people. Is it having more energy, feeling stronger, being more confident, having your life figured out… or is it just being old enough to know better but young enough to still do stupid things?
My prime is a long way behind me, but I'll give my answer anyway, from memory.
It depends on what kind of prime you're talking about. I've always thought the male is in his physical prime around age 27 - a combination of fast reflexes, speed, strength, energy, resilience, and the body just working right.

An overall prime would be more like your last sentence - "old enough to know better but young enough to still do stupid things". Actually, maybe you should drop the stupid things. It's all a compromise of sorts, an intersection of maturity, social and economic growth, while still retaining a good deal of physical strength. That might be more in your 30s, or even possibly your 40s.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

quodlibet

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Sadly, nobody thinks of it while in their prime. They only know once it's past their prime and their attractiveness isn't as high as before.

Guys are in their primes approximately mid 20s til mid 30s. He has disposable income and doesn't physically look like an old fart.
 

The Duke

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Sadly, nobody thinks of it while in their prime. They only know once it's past their prime and their attractiveness isn't as high as before.

Guys are in their primes approximately mid 20s til mid 30s. He has disposable income and doesn't physically look like an old fart.
I disagree. They are just started in their careers, not making serious money. Still trying to accumulate posessions, savings, and wealth. They are still figuring out how to navigate the world. Mentally and financially that is definitely not the prime for most.

If you mean looks, then sure. But you need to understand that women aren't as into looks as men are. Men are scored by the world they create around them.
 

BaronOfHair

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YMWLV:

My 20s weren't "prime years" by any means, nonetheless the events that occurred compelled me towards finally partaking in an ounce of self-reflection, an activity that I'd NEVER engaged in prior
 

Noahwilson

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Yeah, I think that’s a pretty fair way to look at it. I don’t think your “prime” is necessarily tied to some magic age where everything suddenly clicks.

I’d say being in your prime is less about the number and more about knowing yourself a little better than you did before. Although I’m still hoping mine comes with a few fewer stupid decisions.
 

SpartanWarrior77

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Prime is a subjective window that's based on looks, money, game, status, and so on. For some guys, their prime was highschool before it all went to sh*t, there's no real objective prime, in theory, 35-42+ is a window of opportunity many can built up to where your strengths all manage to converge.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Hi Noah,
"How does it feel to be in your prime",Better ask an older man than me LOL.
 
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