That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Yea? I'm sure those qualities are pretty essential, but I figure there would be more to it than thatNight Owl said:
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Depends on how boring or interesting the positives and negatives were. If you sit there and tell her about how good you are at D&D, how much RAM your computer has, and about the last hummel you bought, she'll forget about you pretty quickly and make excuses to avoid you in the future.
Have you actually tried being mean throughout an entire date? I'll bet you've tried being nice throughout an entire date. Being nice for the whole thing won't have as good of an effect unless you do 5hit that makes her jaw drop to the floor. That's why neg-hits and ****y/funny are effective. They make the woman feel something. The more she drops her jaw at the 5hit you do, the better. I've even gone as far as almost being a complete a55hole and the IL still soars through the roof.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The "cherry-picking" was un-intentional, that was just one of the posts that stuck out the most at the time so I decided to follow-up on it... I try to check on my posts sporadically and respond/ acknowledge anything I find helpful, questionable or unconventionalTheHumanist said:
I bet that's probably true.Answers said:
Hey, I am not cynical. I am just a wise old owl, who know the ways of the world all too well.TheHumanist said:
I DEFINATELY see your logic, but is that example not a bit extreme...? I feel like taking a girl to McDonald's and making her pay wouldn't exactly be a desirable experience a girl would gush over... do you really have to resort to something that low to trigger memories, raise interest levels and be attractive? You can't just show her a fun time and be reasonably polite and nice?Desdinova said:
he was using it as an excuse.tsmith2334 said:
Of course you can. If you make the date extremely fun, different, and very enjoyable, she'll remember it well. That's probably the best way to do it. However, a woman will remember you just as well if your date is the extreme opposite. In fact, there's a good chance that she'll try to "change you" and make you less aggressive. Women like a good challenge, and she'll try to find a guy's "soft spot".
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.