"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how do you....

zzirf25

Don Juan
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Alright here is whats up, I was sitting at my house last night and this chick sends me an ICQ message asking me who I am. I am very confused by this so I respond by telling her who I am then ask her who she is. She tells me her name then tells me that one of her friends said that she should add me to her list. Well I ask who her friend was, and I didn't know who her friend was so I don't know how they know me. Well after that I just started up a convo with herand started asking about her and stuff. Every now and then she would tell me about how she has remembered seeing me before(she even said that her and one of her friends stared at me while I was at a baseball game she was at.) I have never met this girl in my life but she said that she has seen me on more than one occation. From what she has said to me, I'm pretty sure that she likes me. Well before I could set up a date or anything she told me she had to go to bed(it was like 2:00 am) but she said she will talk to me tommorow AKA tonight via ICQ. She has already done the hard part for me by not making me approach, but I was just wondering how I steer the tonights convo with her to asking her on a date. I'm pretty sure I won't get rejected but I was just wanting to know how to take the conversation in the appropriate direction to do so. Any feedback is appreciated.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spider_007

Master Don Juan
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for all you know, she could be a fat desperate slob

interview! interview! interview!
 

nishbuk

Master Don Juan
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I dunno. The whole IM thing strikes me as kinda weird. Dont' know if it's the "right" move, but what I would do is meet up with her somewhere real quick, talk to her for like 5-10mins in real life, then get her number if she's cool, don't if she's not. Then if you want you can ask her out on a date in 4 days or so.
 

Leuven

Don Juan
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Try to meet her asap and then you will know much more. If she is ugly or somewhat crazy you can still make up some excuses for not taking it too long and block her.

The longer it last imo the more difficult it is going to be ...



Sincerely
 

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
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It was me I was just playing with you!

LOL

Got you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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