how do you treat women who've hooked up with your friend(s)?

[mungro]

the story is common for some... especially if you are in a smaller social community where the networks are small (ie, college, highschool, workplace, etc). you and your friends all "know" or are in communication with potential female targets... then if you don't hook up with a target, your friend finally get's her one night at the bar.

While of course, this is bitter sweet... sweet because I'm always psyched for any buddy as we celebrate another girl taken down...but it also means another potential girl has been taken off the board for me personally. Either way, however, for me, I've noticed several times now that my interest level or desire to even talk to such girls after the fact drops like a stone. The question is, how do you treat these girls now? Personally, i've always gone through a guilty phase where I have a major letdown social interaction with these girls... and a part of me says I should be more civil. In my demented mind perhaps, I just think, "well this girl is useless to me know... etc etc"... which is a rather bitter cynical mindframe I think. What is a good DJ mindset to have?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Would it still matter if you didn't know the previous guys she had hooked up with? The problem is that you're inadvertently comparing yourself with your buds. STOP IT! It's debilitating.

 

[mungro]

Would it still matter if you didn't know the previous guys she had hooked up with? The problem is that you're inadvertently comparing yourself with your buds. STOP IT! It's debilitating.

so basically your saying, she hooked up with your friends, and now you still have no problem running game?

personally, i just can't myself around to do that... she's been taken by a friend, she's sort of damaged in a way... its not doable... if it was a random encounter maybe... but especially not ones I see around often...

 

[girlsarecrazy]

It depends if the girls are in the "talking" stage with your buddies.

Say one of my girl friends hooked up with one of my guy friends randomly one night at a party. I wouldn't change the way i'd pursue that girl because chances are the hook up meant nothing and it didn't bring my guy friend and her to the "talking" stage.

Now if one of my girl friends and one of my guy friends had a planned evening together and hooked up. Then I'd drop that girl off the priority list because her interest shifts to my guy friend because they are in the "talking" stage and plan more evenings together.

It's all a matter of what the hooking up meant. A lot of times the girls will hook up with the guy and the girl would think nothing of it because it didn't mean anything to them. That's when you don't change your view of her potential.

Understand?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If it goes against your moral code then don't consider it. You don't have to sarge every girl in existence however if all your buds were AFCs that could explain her "getting around." Yeah, she could have issues to but then again, maybe not. Who knows until you find out.

This is a complicated situation to handle if you just think of women as objects of conquest and you compare your spoils of war to those of your friends. If your ego has that much of a hold on you don't go after them, you'll be in constant conflict with yourself.

 

[mungro]

It depends if the girls are in the "talking" stage with your buddies.

It's all a matter of what the hooking up meant. A lot of times the girls will hook up with the guy and the girl would think nothing of it because it didn't mean anything to them. That's when you don't change your view of her potential.

Understand?

I think that helped me... think through the way I do things a bit.

My friends are fairly large group of diverse guys, some are admittedly AFC and some are quite advanced and experienced with ladies... Which is why, between the 10 of us or so, who roll together... we know a lot of "girls" who are "friends" sort of... and sometimes we hook up with some of them, and of course lines get fuzzy. It's not a competition... but true to DJ spirit, I do keep my target lines open, and I like to test every girl i know... it just confuses me when a friend hooks up with a girl. it creates a weird feeling as what to say to this girl when she tries to talk to me next. Can't explain why i feel that way, it just is...

 

[PRMoon]

Hmmm

I'm actually split on this issue

On one had I could take advantge of the knowledge of the girl on the basis of your friends. You'll know what she likes and dislikes, how she screws, what makes her hot. If you're friends are good they'll have no trouble giving up this information to you and might even put in a good word or two on your behalf. All very good things with positive outcomes and if you're an a mature circle then it should be a good experience.

Typically however, and very contradictory to the above statments, I hate my friends coat tails. Call it an ego thing, but the rivalry I have among my friends in terms of our dating circle not only turns me off to the girls they've dated but has had a hand in shaping me as a player....also I've always lived in metropolitan cities with millions of girls to choose from and I like to keep it fresh.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Whether or not the new guy's a buddy, an aquaintance or just the fvcking Starbucks guy filling up your pina colada frappa-latte it's still JUST A FVCKING GUY.

Get it outta your mind you'll be tasting his nuttbutter by-proxy. We all do.

Hope I showered your day with a li'l sunshine!

 

[DJHoolahoop]

Maybe you're jealous that your friend boned her before you did.