I grew up with women pretty much throwing themselves at me--captain of the football team, good-looking, popular, etc. And an ego to match.
Me approach a
woman? Pshhh. I wouldn't lift a finger. I knew women
could be sexually aggressive--so that became the norm, and any woman who didn't fit that norm must just not be that interested.
I got some stunners for sure--visually, my track record is impeccable. But what did that approach net me really? Well, some slvts, some clingers, girls with daddy issues loooooved me (fighting with my emotional distance for approval); the culmination, of course, was my BPDex, who showed me the kind of adoration my ego needed in all the right way. I've said it before, but the epitome of a high interest woman is a BPD in the idealization phase.
But as I've gotten more comfortable with my masculinity (and thus more desirable of feminine polarity), I've figured out exactly what a woman has to do:
Nothing.
All she needs to do is to sit there and experience me. All she has to do to maintain my interest is to be pleasant and submissive when I initiate--and to invest in my reality. That's feminine energy--and that's literally all a woman has to bring to my reality to keep her place in it. The expectation that women need to initiate is rooted in a holdover from egalitarianism--same reason guys expect women to be logical, to like watching sports & drinking beers, or to play video games (to be a dude, basically) and why we have guys here wishing they could just be a hot chick so that they wouldn't have the burden of performance.
A submissive woman will respect your time--she won't encroach on it with texts or phone calls, etc. She won't throw herself at you in the nightclub. If she's high self esteem, she'll remain emotionally unreactive to anything you throw at her
because she doesn't need your validation. Once your ego gets used to that fact, these are the women that are the best to have on your team--even if she's a plate or knows you're a total player, she won't get sucked into that validation chase or disrespect your reality (if she likes being a part of it)--she'll let you do your thing, because her sense of self-worth isn't based on you.
It's easy to get used to LSE women (they're everywhere lol), to the extent that a HSE woman will seem low interest as hell--the only way to tell the difference is to risk rejection.
In all the talk about the importance of frame, what gets lost is the fact that
adaptiveness is probably the single best indicator of genetic fitness and the ability to survive & pass on your genes. Frame has to do with your state of mind, not your external behavior (Game). One of the appeals of SoSuave culture is that it allows you to replace one set of ego-investments (AFC) with another; guys
love having a script they can adhere to.
But guess what? The script changes. But you have guys who have been members here for
years that have been doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results with the same types of women. But, hey, it works, you're ego invested in a new rule book; it
has to be the only way to do it.
If this was 1913, these guys would be telling you not to use the telegraph. Too high investment. In my day, we mailed letters. But while you're waiting on the mailman, the dude who sent the telegraph is already talking marriage on the veranda of her porch.
1930 these guys would be saying, "Don't talk to girls on the telephone. Phones are for women. Send her a telegram to meet you somewhere."
But things change. It's not about what you do; it's about where it comes from. Does the red pill provide some important truths that are applicable to all women? You bet--but what you do with those truths is up to you.
I've been having more success and better results with women from the following mindset:
Every girl is an opportunity to try something new. **** rules--they're only there to protect yourself from rejection. I entertain myself and give the girl the opportunity to experience me. I give the girl the chance to reject me--but if I'm going to be rejected, it's gonna be while having a blast.
And guess what? When you quit focusing on what works and start focusing on what's fun, girls
want to be a part of your reality. You'll feel good; they'll feel good around you. I like to see what I can get away with; I'll pile up 3-5 rejections the first half hour I know a girl until something clicks and she sees my reality isn't dependent on her.
**** being static or finding one thing that works and trying to force every girl to fit that mental model. Women, even moreso than men, are a product of their environment. Environments change, stimuli change, circumstances change; so while the behavior may all be rooted in the same biological hardware, the manifestations constantly change. Your game should be constantly evolving.
- Like, I used to think that a girl flaking = low interest = next, until I started dating a couple South Americans.
- I used to think one word responses = low interest = next, until I started ploughing through them and got girls to agree & follow through with a meetup the next message.
- I used to think that physical escalation with a girl you barely knew was creepy, until I tried it and had girls scratching my back up hours later.
- I used to think that if a girl didn't make eye contact she wan't interested, until I met some shy girls and just escalated anyway and it turned out they were just shy and maybe a little socially awkward.
So while the
DJ Bible is a great place to start, anyone here who thinks they're a finished product
ever and isn't constantly trying new things isn't maximizing their potential. So while the formula is always the same: Meet up-->Isolate-->Escalate, how you get from point A to B to C is different every time. Use whatever tools you have to your advantage and enjoy the process, embrace improvisation, and if you're gonna fail, make it a good story.