How do you text girls with long gaps

[Dhoulmagus]

I have to wake up early for work and most girls live about a 2 hour round trip commute for me. This pretty much leaves the weekend for me unless I really want to see the girl lol. I know the old hags here are against texting, but not many girls are going to out on a date with some stranger that only asked them to hangout 5 days ago and that's it.

 

[Tictac]

Corey Wayne has a bit where he says that when a woman (That you'd like to see) texts you, you simply tell her thst it was great to hear from her and would like to see her. Then you ask when she's free to get together.

Set the date and you're done.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Try and setups dates as quickly as possible

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Ya, I agree with setting up a date, but I'm going to have to at least give her some form of comfortableness and security so she doesn't flake.

 

[Tictac]

Ya, I agree with setting up a date, but I'm going to have to at least give her some form of comfortableness and security so she doesn't flake.

No, you don't.

Set the date and show up.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

That won't work because she's a pretty female lol. She probably has tons of guys asking her to hangout and optioins this weekend. Yet, she's going to choose to hangout with the stranger from Tinder that asked her to hangout on a Monday and hasn't texted her since. I guess my only option is to learn how to sext lol.

 

[Tictac]

So be like every other guy.

Let me know how that goes for you.

 

[fastlife]

No, you don't.

Set the date and show up.

I actually would've agreed with this a few months ago; but I date girls almost exclusively in the 18-21 y.o. age range and based on my personal observations I don't think this holds true for girls that aren't in your social circle. In fact, I've noticed some big changes from the average 19 y.o. in 2011 and the average 19 y.o. 5 years later as far as what works and what doesn't.

The new crop of girls literally connect with people through their phones--they're used to guys that have any degree of interest inundating them with texts. Not saying you have to play that game--but just texting here and there, responding at your convenience, ending convos on high points, etc. are enough to set you apart; if you don't text at all, especially initially, you're gonna blow yourself out with a lot of girls. She'll think you don't give a ****--and not in a OMG this guy is sooo alpha kinda way; more like **** this guy, I'll never be able to access anything from him; OMG 15 new Likes on my selfie.

The advice from 2001 just doesn't hold true 15 years later (who'da thought it?). And all of that advice was for filtering high interest women but guess what? A 9/10 21 y.o. in 2016 is so bombarded with options that she'll literally never ever ever have high interest in a guy who hasn't already hit it or who she hasn't seen extensively demonstrate his value/preselection in her social circle. But keep dating those women approaching the wall

A strong enough initial in-person impression is usually enough to solidify a hangout without much fluff texting (I don't even do OLD anymore). But I find it's effective to make a strong initial text interaction--get them used to you & disappear on a high point. Let her re-initiate, play along at your convenience; disappear a couple days, send a few pings here and there.

But texting is boring as ****, right? So I just structure my convos to entertain myself. And never small talk; I'm always pushing for a meet up (usually throw out a couple fakes that I know she'll turn down, then hit her with something that involves less investment in comparison) and feeling out logistics, deflect anything too boring & sexualize here and there. You have to plant the idea in her head that Oh, I'm actually meeting up with this guy I barely know and His attention is dependent on sexual interest.

After sex it's just maintenance texting.

 

[BeExcellent]

Look. This is perspective from a woman. This idea that you never text under any circumstances is silliness. In fact it can do more harm than good. My sister and I were just discussing this very thing.

When a woman is raised throughout her teens and young adulthood that "Nice girls DO NOT call boys" that carries over into life. You might miss someone who is very nice and potentially a "good woman" through this game playing business of never texting or calling first or to touch base if you set a date well into the future. I was raised that only the floozies called or initiated with men. I was raised that the man does the initiating, the asking out, and the contacting. I was raised that the woman's job is to respond. Period. Women worth having DO NOT do this. Call me old fashioned, call me a traditionalist, but this idea of the girl should reach out first is backwards if you want a really good, traditional (non-feminist) demure woman.

Now maybe nobody raises their daughters like that anymore, but I am raising mine that way. I am betting there are men on this site who are raising their daughters that way as well. That is to recognize what a good man is and to respond to him & encourage him once he initiates if she fancies him. That has been how men courted women forever until all the femnazi crap came about, which has roundly confused everything.

What @fastlife says above is also true. Communications have changed so much that there is a need to stay on her radar screen a bit if you don't want to be forgotten with all the instant gratification media around.

On the one hand the men on this forum gripe that all women are feminists etc. etc., and then on the other hand turn around and say the woman should contact the man first. That's backwards AND feminist! It is the man's role to initiate contact. If I don't hear from a man I assume he has moved on and is not interested in me. Period.

Now I get that most women are insecure and cannot let it go without *having* to send over a text or whatever and @fastlife is 100% accurate about the hottest women having their phone blown up all the time - if you are looking to date a 9 or a model that is absolutely the deal (and it was even in the telephone answer machine days)...but my whole point is that weeding out women based on this also throws out someone really good potentially who was raised properly, namely that the man calls, the man shows the interest first, the man approaches, etc. etc. etc. A good woman or highly interested woman will always respond in an encouraging way. A good woman or highly interested woman will not play games. Everything she does will encourage the man (although she may 'pace' the relationship as it develops.) So by being so very rigid in this stance there is the real risk that you throw away the very sort of woman you would really enjoy getting to know or you knock her interest level down by being too silent.

Don't friend her on FB, don't follow her Twitter or Snapchat don't do those things. But reach out once in a while via text (I like 2-3 days myself - enough to show interest but not neediness). I think the best way to remain in touch is to send something interesting or humorous, but that makes a statement rather than asks her a question. Send her a picture without any text for example. tell her what movie you thought was funny or what happened to your team in their recent game. "Having dinner with my sis, hope your week is good!" Let her ask you the questions after you break the ice, but you break the ice. Breaking the ice tells her (without you having to say it) that you thought of her and gives her the opportunity to respond to you. It may also give you a few topics to pick up on when you have the date. Don't get bogged down in a long convo either...

Just kind of a teaser. Like a movie trailer.

 

[TheProspect]

I actually would've agreed with this a few months ago; but I date girls almost exclusively in the 18-21 y.o. age range and based on my personal observations I don't think this holds true for girls that aren't in your social circle. In fact, I've noticed some big changes from the average 19 y.o. in 2011 and the average 19 y.o. 5 years later as far as what works and what doesn't.

The new crop of girls literally connect with people through their phones--they're used to guys that have any degree of interest inundating them with texts. Not saying you have to play that game--but just texting here and there, responding at your convenience, ending convos on high points, etc. are enough to set you apart; if you don't text at all, especially initially, you're gonna blow yourself out with a lot of girls. She'll think you don't give a ****--and not in a OMG this guy is sooo alpha kinda way; more like **** this guy, I'll never be able to access anything from him; OMG 15 new Likes on my selfie.

The advice from 2001 just doesn't hold true 15 years later (who'da thought it?). And all of that advice was for filtering high interest women but guess what? A 9/10 21 y.o. in 2016 is so bombarded with options that she'll literally never ever ever have high interest in a guy who hasn't already hit it or who she hasn't seen extensively demonstrate his value/preselection in her social circle. But keep dating those women approaching the wall

A strong enough initial in-person impression is usually enough to solidify a hangout without much fluff texting (I don't even do OLD anymore). But I find it's effective to make a strong initial text interaction--get them used to you & disappear on a high point. Let her re-initiate, play along at your convenience; disappear a couple days, send a few pings here and there.

But texting is boring as ****, right? So I just structure my convos to entertain myself. And never small talk; I'm always pushing for a meet up (usually throw out a couple fakes that I know she'll turn down, then hit her with something that involves less investment in comparison) and feeling out logistics, deflect anything too boring & sexualize here and there. You have to plant the idea in her head that Oh, I'm actually meeting up with this guy I barely know and His attention is dependent on sexual interest.

After sex it's just maintenance texting.

This is pretty insightful, fastlife.

I think you and Tictac are both right, it's just dependent on what would most likely work best for the current situation, whatever the situation may be. And even then, every woman is different and the results of your approach will vary woman to woman.

Just goes to show, there's not always a one-size-fits-all solution for every situation/problem.

OP, make the decision that you are most confident applies to your situation and run with it, if it doesn't pan out with that woman there's always another one around the corner. Trial and error.

 

[fastlife]

Women worth having DO NOT do this. Call me old fashioned, call me a traditionalist, but this idea of the girl should reach out first is backwards if you want a really good, traditional (non-feminist) demure woman.

Now maybe nobody raises their daughters like that anymore, but I am raising mine that way. I am betting there are men on this site who are raising their daughters that way as well. That is to recognize what a good man is and to respond to him & encourage him once he initiates if she fancies him....

...On the one hand the men on this forum gripe that all women are feminists etc. etc., and then on the other hand turn around and say the woman should contact the man first. That's backwards AND feminist! It is the man's role to initiate contact. If I don't hear from a man I assume he has moved on and is not interested in me. Period.

I grew up with women pretty much throwing themselves at me--captain of the football team, good-looking, popular, etc. And an ego to match. Me approach a woman? Pshhh. I wouldn't lift a finger. I knew women could be sexually aggressive--so that became the norm, and any woman who didn't fit that norm must just not be that interested.

I got some stunners for sure--visually, my track record is impeccable. But what did that approach net me really? Well, some slvts, some clingers, girls with daddy issues loooooved me (fighting with my emotional distance for approval); the culmination, of course, was my BPDex, who showed me the kind of adoration my ego needed in all the right ways. I've said it before, but the epitome of a high interest woman is a BPD in the idealization phase.

But as I've gotten more comfortable with my masculinity (and thus more desirous of feminine polarity), I've figured out exactly what a woman has to do: Nothing. All she needs to do is to sit there and experience me. All she has to do to maintain my interest is to be pleasant and submissive when I initiate--and to invest in my reality. That's feminine energy--and that's literally all a woman has to bring to my reality to keep her place in it. The expectation that women need to initiate is rooted in a holdover from egalitarianism--same reason guys expect women to be logical, to like watching sports & drinking beers, or to play video games (to be a dude, basically) and why we have guys here wishing they could just be a hot chick so that they wouldn't have the burden of performance.

A submissive woman will respect your time--she won't encroach on it with texts or phone calls, etc. She won't throw herself at you in the nightclub. If she's high self esteem, she'll remain emotionally unreactive to anything you throw at her because she doesn't need your validation. Once your ego gets used to that fact, these are the women that are the best to have on your team--even if she's a plate or knows you're a total player, she won't get sucked into that validation chase or disrespect your reality (if she likes being a part of it)--she'll let you do your thing, because her sense of self-worth isn't based on you.

It's easy to get used to LSE women (they're everywhere lol), to the extent that a HSE woman will seem low interest as hell--the only way to tell the difference is to risk rejection.

This is pretty insightful, fastlife.

I think you and Tictac are both right, it's just dependent on what would most likely work best for the current situation, whatever the situation may be. And even then, every woman is different and the results of your approach will vary woman to woman.

Just goes to show, there's not always a one-size-fits-all solution for every situation/problem.

OP, make the decision that you are most confident applies to your situation and run with it, if it doesn't pan out with that woman there's always another one around the corner. Trial and error.

In all the talk about the importance of frame, what gets lost is the fact that adaptiveness is probably the single best indicator of genetic fitness and the ability to survive & pass on your genes. Frame has to do with your state of mind, not your external behavior (Game). One of the appeals of SoSuave culture is that it allows you to replace one set of ego-investments (AFC) with another; guys love having a script they can adhere to.

But guess what? The script changes. But you have guys who have been members here for years that have been doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results with the same types of women. But, hey, it works, you're ego invested in a new rule book; it has to be the only way to do it.

If this was 1913, these guys would be telling you not to use the telegraph. Too high investment. In my day, we mailed letters. But while you're waiting on the mailman, the dude who sent the telegraph is already talking marriage on the veranda of her porch.

1930 these guys would be saying, "Don't talk to girls on the telephone. Phones are for women. Send her a telegram to meet you somewhere."

But things change. It's not about what you do; it's about where it comes from. Does the red pill provide some important truths that are applicable to all women? You bet--but what you do with those truths is up to you.

I've been having more success and better results with women from the following mindset: Every girl is an opportunity to try something new. **** rules--they're only there to protect yourself from rejection. I entertain myself and give the girl the opportunity to experience me. I give the girl the chance to reject me--but if I'm going to be rejected, it's gonna be while having a blast.

And guess what? When you quit focusing on what works and start focusing on what's fun, girls want to be a part of your reality. You'll feel good; they'll feel good around you. I like to see what I can get away with; I'll pile up 3-5 rejections the first half hour I know a girl until something clicks and she sees my reality isn't dependent on her.

**** being static or finding one thing that works and trying to force every girl to fit that mental model. Women, even moreso than men, are a product of their environment. Environments change, stimuli change, circumstances change; so while the behavior may all be rooted in the same biological hardware, the manifestations constantly change. Your game should be constantly evolving.

• Like, I used to think that a girl flaking = low interest = next, until I started dating a couple South Americans.
• I used to think one word responses = low interest = next, until I started ploughing through them and got girls to agree & follow through with a meetup the next message.
• I used to think that physical escalation with a girl you barely knew was creepy, until I tried it and had girls scratching my back up hours later.
• I used to think that if a girl didn't make eye contact she wan't interested, until I met some shy girls and just escalated anyway and it turned out they were just shy and maybe a little socially awkward.

So while the DJ Bible is a great place to start, anyone here who thinks they're a finished product ever and isn't constantly trying new things isn't maximizing their potential. So while the formula is always the same: Meet up-->Isolate-->Escalate, how you get from point A to B to C is different every time. Use whatever tools you have to your advantage and enjoy the process, embrace improvisation, and if you're gonna fail, make it a good story.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I grew up with women pretty much throwing themselves at me--captain of the football team, good-looking, popular, etc. And an ego to match. Me approach a woman? Pshhh. I wouldn't lift a finger. I knew women could be sexually aggressive--so that became the norm, and any woman who didn't fit that norm must just not be that interested.

I got some stunners for sure--visually, my track record is impeccable. But what did that approach net me really? Well, some slvts, some clingers, girls with daddy issues loooooved me (fighting with my emotional distance for approval); the culmination, of course, was my BPDex, who showed me the kind of adoration my ego needed in all the right way. I've said it before, but the epitome of a high interest woman is a BPD in the idealization phase.

But as I've gotten more comfortable with my masculinity (and thus more desirable of feminine polarity), I've figured out exactly what a woman has to do: Nothing. All she needs to do is to sit there and experience me. All she has to do to maintain my interest is to be pleasant and submissive when I initiate--and to invest in my reality. That's feminine energy--and that's literally all a woman has to bring to my reality to keep her place in it. The expectation that women need to initiate is rooted in a holdover from egalitarianism--same reason guys expect women to be logical, to like watching sports & drinking beers, or to play video games (to be a dude, basically) and why we have guys here wishing they could just be a hot chick so that they wouldn't have the burden of performance.

A submissive woman will respect your time--she won't encroach on it with texts or phone calls, etc. She won't throw herself at you in the nightclub. If she's high self esteem, she'll remain emotionally unreactive to anything you throw at her because she doesn't need your validation. Once your ego gets used to that fact, these are the women that are the best to have on your team--even if she's a plate or knows you're a total player, she won't get sucked into that validation chase or disrespect your reality (if she likes being a part of it)--she'll let you do your thing, because her sense of self-worth isn't based on you.

It's easy to get used to LSE women (they're everywhere lol), to the extent that a HSE woman will seem low interest as hell--the only way to tell the difference is to risk rejection.



In all the talk about the importance of frame, what gets lost is the fact that adaptiveness is probably the single best indicator of genetic fitness and the ability to survive & pass on your genes. Frame has to do with your state of mind, not your external behavior (Game). One of the appeals of SoSuave culture is that it allows you to replace one set of ego-investments (AFC) with another; guys love having a script they can adhere to.

But guess what? The script changes. But you have guys who have been members here for years that have been doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results with the same types of women. But, hey, it works, you're ego invested in a new rule book; it has to be the only way to do it.

If this was 1913, these guys would be telling you not to use the telegraph. Too high investment. In my day, we mailed letters. But while you're waiting on the mailman, the dude who sent the telegraph is already talking marriage on the veranda of her porch.

1930 these guys would be saying, "Don't talk to girls on the telephone. Phones are for women. Send her a telegram to meet you somewhere."

But things change. It's not about what you do; it's about where it comes from. Does the red pill provide some important truths that are applicable to all women? You bet--but what you do with those truths is up to you.

I've been having more success and better results with women from the following mindset: Every girl is an opportunity to try something new. **** rules--they're only there to protect yourself from rejection. I entertain myself and give the girl the opportunity to experience me. I give the girl the chance to reject me--but if I'm going to be rejected, it's gonna be while having a blast.

And guess what? When you quit focusing on what works and start focusing on what's fun, girls want to be a part of your reality. You'll feel good; they'll feel good around you. I like to see what I can get away with; I'll pile up 3-5 rejections the first half hour I know a girl until something clicks and she sees my reality isn't dependent on her.

**** being static or finding one thing that works and trying to force every girl to fit that mental model. Women, even moreso than men, are a product of their environment. Environments change, stimuli change, circumstances change; so while the behavior may all be rooted in the same biological hardware, the manifestations constantly change. Your game should be constantly evolving.

• Like, I used to think that a girl flaking = low interest = next, until I started dating a couple South Americans.
• I used to think one word responses = low interest = next, until I started ploughing through them and got girls to agree & follow through with a meetup the next message.
• I used to think that physical escalation with a girl you barely knew was creepy, until I tried it and had girls scratching my back up hours later.
• I used to think that if a girl didn't make eye contact she wan't interested, until I met some shy girls and just escalated anyway and it turned out they were just shy and maybe a little socially awkward.

So while the DJ Bible is a great place to start, anyone here who thinks they're a finished product ever and isn't constantly trying new things isn't maximizing their potential. So while the formula is always the same: Meet up-->Isolate-->Escalate, how you get from point A to B to C is different every time. Use whatever tools you have to your advantage and enjoy the process, embrace improvisation, and if you're gonna fail, make it a good story.

****ing good post. I've been thinking this for a while. SoSuave is becoming a MGTOW forum and rejecting it's gaming side, instead of keeping a healthy balance. Almost every time a guy comes here asking for tips on how to game a girl he gets the same responses 90% of the time: "stop overthiking", "there are more girls ,this one has low interest", "why do you care?", etc. You know what I mean. And while those concepts are good for having a succesful life outside of the women area, people forget that guys still want to bang bitches, and that WE need those tips, and it's not that we're obsessed with one girl because we need a tip with THIS girl, is because we're learning game with THIS girl at THIS moment of time.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

****ing good post. I've been thinking this for a while. SoSuave is becoming a MGTOW forum and rejecting it's gaming side, instead of keeping a healthy balance. Almost every time a guy comes here asking for tips on how to game a girl he gets the same responses 90% of the time: "stop overthiking", "there are more girls ,this one has low interest", "why do you care?", etc. You know what I mean. And while those concepts are good for having a succesful life outside of the women area, people forget that guys still want to bang *****es, and that WE need those tips, and it's not that we're obsessed with one girl because we need a tip with THIS girl, is because we're learning game with THIS girl at THIS moment of time.

Exactly lol. They expect some woman to completely throw herself at some complete stranger because he worded a text differently.

 

[Tictac]

They expect some woman to completely throw herself at some complete stranger because he worded a text differently

You mean like this?

not many girls are going to out on a date with some stranger that only asked them to hangout 5 days ago and that's it.

 

[BeExcellent]

A submissive woman will respect your time--she won't encroach on it with texts or phone calls, etc. She won't throw herself at you in the nightclub. If she's high self esteem, she'll remain emotionally unreactive to anything you throw at her because she doesn't need your validation. Once your ego gets used to that fact, these are the women that are the best to have on your team--even if she's a plate or knows you're a total player, she won't get sucked into that validation chase or disrespect your reality (if she likes being a part of it)--she'll let you do your thing, because her sense of self-worth isn't based on you.

It's easy to get used to LSE women (they're everywhere lol), to the extent that a HSE woman will seem low interest as hell--the only way to tell the difference is to risk rejection.

This exactly. It just requires a man who is got his own self esteem together to recognize what a high self esteem woman looks like (behaves like). The right woman is your life's first mate. Your job is to be the captain.

Honestly I find it encouraging that in your youth @fastlife that you possess so much wisdom beyond your years. I hope you have great influence on those in your social circle. I think your viewpoint is very valuable here.

Cheers!

 

[fastlife]

This exactly. It just requires a man who is got his own self esteem together to recognize what a high self esteem woman looks like (behaves like).

I actually didn't lol--this particular HSE girl kinda had to pull me aside and tell me. I'd actually nexted this girl a couple months ago. Felt her getting a little distant, chalked it up to low interest, and wished her well. She pinged my SM a couple times recently, so we reconnected. Figured it was just @fastlife playing side **** for a night. But when she showed up, the vibe was wrong; so we got to talking.

To translate the gist of her convo: "Look, I know you are who you are--and I don't have a problem with that. But I know my worth, and if I'm gonna be the pleasant, submissive girl that I was for you, you're gonna have to give me a little more of you than you were."

Of course, my initial instinct was: **** test, beta-ization, losing frame. But she was calm--there were no emotional outbursts, no attempts at manipulation, no blame, no ultimatums, no I'm this, that, and the other; you better do X, Y, and Z, no If you like it, you better put a ring on it. Just a calm statement that her price was higher than the price I was offering. Knowing her, she was putting herself on the line (she's very, very submissiveness). And admittedly, she was right. I played super fast & loose with this girl--never texting her except to 'hang,' disappearing for weeks at a time. This is a girl whose probably had guys throwing themselves at her since she hit puberty, the type of girl who has alpha orbiters; low n-count, voluntarily single for the past year and a half (longtime connections in my social circle vouch for her).

She made a reasonable request in a reasonable way. Exclusivity would be too high a price for me, but if this girl is gonna expend part of her prime with a broke, womanizing, aspiring artist, the least I can do is give her a full range of memories outside the bedroom. DISCLAIMER: Now maybe she's a high level female player or I have oneitis (doubtful). I'll report back when I'm a whipped broken man checking in every 15 minutes and not allowed to go on SoSuave anymore lol.

But I've adopted the mantra See what happens (which is how I pulled this girl in the first place--people with emotionally fulfilling lives are a little more discriminate about who they bring into it). I still want her and what I'd been doing wasn't working. So what the hell? Does it really matter if some girl knows she's a cut above my other options? (For the record, I was out with some friends when she came thru--after we talked for a while, I told her I was being a ****ty wingman; she told me to do what I needed to do and sat by pleasantly while I opened a couple girls).

I think it's easy to mistake submissiveness for being a doormat and the unwillingness to be a doormat with being a **** test. And I think it's easy to get caught up in the idea that, even for all the disparity between the reproductive strategies of each gender, that there can only be one winner and one loser and that there isn't the potential for any common ground.