"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How do you tell if a woman is horny?

RogueWarrior

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How do you tell if a woman is in a horny mood? I'm not talking in generalities e.g. "He's cute, I'd like to boff him therefore I'm going to be all over him like stink on s**t." and I'm not talking the obvious 'she's got her tongue down your throat' scenario. Specifically, if a woman is in a horny mood that day, how does she act? Might be helpful if any ladies listening would answer.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Sexplicite

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Close to her cycle.
 

adude

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-she might be carrying a lot of tampons
-she might act like a slut sucking every thing in sight.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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This thread is a gag, right?
 
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Pupil dilation, she's very flirtatious. Uses lots of kino, her nipples poke out through her top (yummy :D). Anyway, she won't get in the mood unless you look like Brad Pitt or you know the right things to say and the right places to touch her.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DJ Alejandro

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you should know. you're the one who's supposed to be making her horny. its hard to tell, actually. you've gotta have a lotta experience before you could really say that chances are, she really is horny.

of course, you would always be able to "feel the heat" of it. and you can tell whenever she'd look into your eyes as if saying..

what's taking you so long? cummon!!!

but like i said, that's just my experience.
 

MisterAl

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She looks at you while she's seated at the kitchen table in your apartment and says in a lower tone of voice, "You know why I'm here, don't you?" She slinks out of her chair to sit in your lap facing you, wrapping her legs around your waist. You sheepishly mumble something about your girlfriend and push her away. She persists, tackling you onto the carpet. She laughs and tells you, "this is going to happen tonight." She runs her fingertips through your hair while she closes her eyes and caresses your lips with her own...

Or, while walking along the sidewalk on your date she stops and turns to face you. She smiles and pins you against a lamppost and groans, "Dammit, kiss me!"

Wrapping her legs around your waist seems to be the universal "screw me now" body language. I wonder if that's the same anywhere in the world, if when she puts down the chopsticks and the rice bowl on the bamboo mat and wraps her legs around you it's nookie-time.
 

UltraMan

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Originally posted by MisterAl
Wrapping her legs around your waist seems to be the universal "screw me now" body language. I wonder if that's the same anywhere in the world, if when she puts down the chopsticks and the rice bowl on the bamboo mat and wraps her legs around you it's nookie-time.
LOL :)
 
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