Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How do you recover/remain DJ when you're feeling down/depressed?

squirrels

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The last couple days, for whatever reason, I've felt kind of down/depressed. Not really sure why...the weather's a big part of it, plus I'm trying to save money for a house and haven't been able to get into a lot of the stuff I want to get into.

The one thing I've noticed is that it's VERY difficult to be confident and/or fun to be around when I feel this way. And when I can't convince myself to feel confident, My AFC feelings start creeping up on me. They got me pretty bad last night.

You can have a generally positive outlook on life, but it's impossible to keep it 24/7...everyone has to feel down once in a while. What do you do to recover your positive outlook and your self-confidence/self-respect?
 

leoncour

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I'd like to know this myself....I think having a strong network of friends is important to being happy, which I do not have, unfortunately.
 

AntonioMontana

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friends are important, but you are important too
i expirince this too sometime
relax, make meditation let go
only you nothing else, no music no tv no books no donjuancetre no girls no afc NOTHING but you, meditate take deep breaths, think about life in a non critical way, life and the whole world, no the whole universe is what it is.





____________________________
the whole think about the seduction magic is the illusion
tony montana
 

Zoso

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I think everyone gets this to some degree from time to time. When I do, I usually just have to wait it out. It could be a mild form of depression, which is chemical and not really your fault. However, it's easy to get hung up on your problems with this mind state, and it becomes a downward spiral. Just don't dwell on negative things, because depression can be strangely addictive. Meditation might help you put things in perspective. Extraneous things can be pleasing, but you don't NEED them; true happiness comes from within. Try to put aside your unfulfilled desires and thoughts of women and being depressed and just be in the moment and appreciate it. Dunno if that'll help, but it's worth a try.
 

leoncour

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Originally posted by Zoso
Try to put aside your unfulfilled desires and thoughts of women and being depressed and just be in the moment and appreciate it.
Yes, dwelling about NOT having a girlfriend is one of the most wasteful and depressing things you can do to yourself. When this happens I try to do something for myself, like exercise or playing a video game.
 

Umbra

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Everybody transitions into one of those states once in a while. A good friend of mine calls them "Natty Lows," or natural lows. When I ease into one of those moods, I don't TRY to be funny or social. I let it work itself out. I usually try to be alone and I listen to music and do quiet hobbies, like writing or drawing, or activities I like, like running or playing video games. With time, you'll naturally pull out of those moods. I don't think it's healthy to try to rush getting back into a good mood. Put yourself first. Don't let people pressure you into being a social, happy, outgoing person 24/7 or you'll burn out.
 

Don-Wan Kenobi

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I've been in a mighty slump for quite a while...

That being said, I find it's most difficult to work my way out of a slump when I get depressed.

I tell myself that AFCs have "slumps" and that I'm tired of being an AFC. This perpetrates a pattern of ruminating, negative thoughts. These thoughts damage my approaches or make me think too much about approaches that don't go over so well. In addition to the lady situation, I find that when I'm blue I do not take as good a care of my body as I normally do, my diet slips, and I become somewhat isolative.

The one thing I can do is organic chemistry... don't ask.

That's just me, everyone's situation is different... but some commonalties:

1. I've been really down lately and the number one suspect is that I got injured a month back, had to quit fighting and haven't been able to go to the gym regularly. My diet has slipped and I've been losing weight. IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED and physically capable of doing ANY sort of exercise... DO IT. Trust me on this. You will rebound.

2. Second is diet. Too much sugar and refined carbohydrates makes you feel like crap. If you eat bread, pasta, pastries, and other flour products with each meal... wake up! Replace them with vegetables and an occasional piece of fruit. Also, not enough EFAs (salmon, flax seed, omega eggs, nuts, and to a lesser extent albacore) and you may experience some sort of mood disturbance, usually chronic... Basically, look at how the typical American eats and DON'T DO THAT! DON'T DO THAT!

3. I'm feeling sort of good now, in light of losing touch with about five friends who really did me more harm then good. It's been tough to readjust after dropping so many people who were once close, but they were really negative people and some of them have hurt me badly. They're now history.

In other news, I met a girl today and we spent a few hours hanging out. I quickly found out that she's moving five hundred miles away next week (and a last-minute ONS is out of the question) but I enjoyed the time I spent with her... she was sweet and I wish I had skills enough to get her back to my apartment because I want to bang her, if you know what I mean. I came home and called another female friend who met me at a free concert in town. She brought a friend of hers whom I've always had a thing for. They're both college students leaving the area in a couple of weeks and no, DWK wasn't smooth enough to isolate and seduce the friend... (one of these days)... but we had a good time. My best friend is coming to visit this weekend also... moral of the story... GET RID OF people who put you down or waste your time and SURROUND yourself with people you love and have a good time with.

So basically, I'm giving this a try...


1. Do as much physical activity as your body can handle without sustaining injury or overtraining.

2. Eat quality protein, quality fat, and quality carbohydrates... shiit-can the rest or leave it for the fat, sad kid to eat.

3. Whenever you're not at work or studying, surround yourself with people you enjoy. Avoid people who have the potential to bring you down and feel less enthusastic about life.


Give this a try, at least as a first step and let me know what you think.

DWK
 

gr8one

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hmmm....

I feel your situation. But simply put, you're stuck in a rut.

Find some time to do something YOU like....

sitting there feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere fast..


:cool:
 

Unbridled_1

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As leoncur mentioned, I think having a strong network of support from family/friends is important. When I'm down, I'll call a friend who I haven't spoke to in a while. Or I'll call a member of my family to talk.

I agree that eating healthy/exercise is important. It's also important to sometimes get yourself out of the house when you find yourself dwelling on negative things in your life, just talking to people can bring your spirits up. And yeah, being by yourself and watching your favorite TV show and listening to music can be helpful, but limit the amount of time you spend isolated.

And, maybe it's not the most healthy thing, but every once in a while my friend and I will get wasted and go to our favorite strip bar, which somehow always gets me out of a depressed state.
 

SideShow Bob

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Do something cool.

Rock climb. Bungee Jump. Anything.
 

aguynamedwill

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chat sites

get on a chat site, make random chicks laugh. you'll start to feel better because you'll be laughing too and you'll get compliments. you know the sort 'you're so funny' 'i bet you're cute' etc. and of course, bust on them when they say these things.

then when you're feeling better, GET OUT. go to the mall or bar or wherever, but ride the high.

works for me.

Will
 

Hot Ice

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Hey, do this.

Put one finger on your left had to left side of your lips.
Do same with one of you right hands finger. Put it to right side of your lips.
Now, concentrate on pressing tose fingers against your lips gently and lift them up.

:)
Feeling any better?

No?
Well, this may work with girls only :p
 

es_mer8

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Exercise. Seriously. Whenever I'm in my most depressing moods, its always because I stopped lifting for whatever reason. It is also proven fact that physical activity is necessary for great mental health. Nothing beats the feeling of knowing that you can lift heavier, run faster, lost weight, and gained muscle. If you're unable to do that, even situps and crunches during TV commercials are really useful. I used to do them all the time whenever I watched TV. Its rare that I do now but if you do, whenever there are those typical cable 6 minute long ad breaks, thats the perfect time to do 50-100 crunches. Sometimes I'd do nearly 500 nightly because I'd watch TV all night and I did 50. 10 commercial breaks = 500 crunches. Its a good way to make TV somewhat healthy as well.

Use this time to reflect with yourself. I was in a 2 or 3 day depressive slump a couple weeks ago and I used this time to write this amazing story for a History class about a war story. Turns out, it was amazing. The teacher went up to me personally before class started and told me it was the best one he read and he didn't do anyone else. Reflecting is a good thing. This forum does a lot of emphasis on the internal self but surprisingly, the deep, intellectual thought processes often get left out. Look at what you want in the future. Use this alone time to really find yourself.
 

ShortTimer

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When I'm feeling down I hit the treadmill for about 1/2 mile or so, just enough to bring my mood back up -- I can save the real exercise for later. :)

So, like the others said: do some exercise if you can -- not so much to build/tone/weightloss but just so that you feel better which means it'll only be a quicky workout and you'll be feeling better.
 

vdk

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Mild depression is like a twisting your ankle. But unlike a physical injury, a mental one is fabricated and can be removed instantly. You must say to yourself: "I'm feeling down because I have allowed my mind to become that way". Try to control your emotions. Wake yourself up. Realise each new day is different from the previous one and you can choose to be happy today.
 

Legend

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join the club dude..i dont know anyone who is happy 100% of the time. I usually find that i am happier when i'm lifting, or doing my hobbies. Maybe you should pick up a lil pet...like fish, a bird, dog, or cat...something alive. I find my pets get me feeling good when i'm down. The only part about a pet is when they died you get depressed bad. hahha....all well.

Also dont put your happiness in someone elses hands...it should be in your hands and only yours. That goes for women as well, if you put your happiness in a female hands its going to be one unhappy life.
 

Kalen

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I found a post not to long ago detailing this. Not sure where or what but the gist of it was that life is like a pendalum. You have to go through the bad times to be able to experience the good times. You cant have it all good and the key is to just accept it learn from it and move on.
 
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