"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do you prefer to be rejected?

HariPoter13

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iqqi said:
That's just one example. I guess it's most important to just feel a situation out. I can tell when I am being nothing but "hollered at", and those I may respond with "How would you prefer to be rejected?" :D
You should totally do that :crackup:

Bible_Belt said:
From the guy's perspective, it's good to not be so obvious. I would never talk to a woman for the sake of "friendship," but at the same time, I am not going to walk up and tell you that, either.

Of all your male "friends," what if you were to someday down the road end up in a relationship with one of them? Would it occur to you that the guy had been lying to you all along about this "friends" thing? Or were you the one who was lying to yourself? I would say it would be both. Male-female friendship is a mutual lie, a polite one, but a lie nonetheless.
Well said.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Victory Unlimited

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Yo Iqqi,

Actually, when it comes to rejection, I'd rather just be slapped, thank you. But don't just take MY word for it. One of the greatest bands that the music industry EVER produced said it best @ the 1:55 minute mark of this clip:

SLAP MY FACE!

Or, you can check out the Funked Up, hard rock Guitar version below. Which ALSO begins @ the 1:55 minute mark.

SLAP MY FACE (Live Version)



V.U.
 

sageproduct

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In response to the OP, I'd say not to assume that every stranger approaching you is automatically hitting on you, and it presents you in a positive light if you are friendly with a stranger. The time to cut of the interaction or make the rejection is when the guy makes his intentions known, or when you sense you are just "being hollered" at.

I say no worries about "leading the guy on" because it's the guy's own fault for not being direct.

Last week I approached a girl who was a total stranger. Right off the bat, I told her I thought she was cute, and that I had to meet her. We had a great conversation for 2 minutes about the book she was reading, and when I invited her to join me for coffee sometime she told me she had a boyfriend but would be open to just hanging out, and gave me her number. I was totally cool with that, because I do have a lot of female friends.

Another time, I approached another stranger and told her immediately I thought she was cute. After barely getting a conversation started, I was interrupted by my 90-minute meeting starting. When the meeting was over, I went back to her, and she told me she had a boyfriend. And I was cool with that as well.

What I'm saying is that it's totally cool to just be friendly and chat for a little bit, and then reject the guy if he asks you out, or casually throw it into the conversation that you have a bf if it's been about 2-5 minutes. Even then, if the guy has been completely indirect, I don't think you're obligated to reject him or let him know of your status if he hasn't let his intentions be known.
 

Boilermaker

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iqqi said:
Does this mean you won't hang out with me as friends if I ever come to Baltimore?

:(
I don't live in Baltimore, my brother used to work there for JHU.

Are you kidding, I am a good host by definition of my cultural background, of course I will hang out with you.

that is, if you ever come close to where I live.

Finding out my home address should be a piece of cake for a detective of your calibre.


Haha, enough love for you, get lost!

:woo:
 

Kailex

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Rejected?

Does. Not. Compute.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Greasy Pig

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I'd rather know very quickly if I'm likely to be rejected.

First thing I do is look at the wedding finger. I don't know how many times I've had mates come up to me and say: "Fvvvck, I was just chatting up that blondie, I think she's keen."
And I immediately say: "You know she's got a wedding ring on, right?"
Them: "Ohhhh, fvvvck. I didn't see that."

If a girl isn't in to me, I'd rather her be pretty blatant about it so I can cross her off the list quickly and find someone who is in to me.
I don't want her to be a rude, ball cutting cuunt, but acting disinterested is enough. You know, one-word answers, not asking me about myself, looking around the room for an escape (I call it "sconsing").
Any man worth his salt can read the signals within seconds and bail to find more worthy prospects.
 

Yahooey

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This is the one area where I won't put up with chick speak. Make it clear it ain't going to happen. If I get the "not yes," I will pretend I am clueless and continue pressing. And not being clueless, I can have lot of fun with it :D
 

Brokenblade

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I prefer being a straight up rejection. Like a "no" or "not interested."
 

yuppaz

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It's presumptuous (even if you're right) to tell them you aren't interested until they go for a number or meet up or to grab your ass. Fine to talk story for a while but if they go into the realm of possibilities or for a number you can say straight up (and SHOULD) I think you seem like a really cool person but I have a boyfriend and would only be interested in being friends. If your cool with that we can hang out....or something like that. If you tell them right up front before he tries anything it makes you look (and you are being) egotistical.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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SecondHalf

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Ideally with a goodbye BJ.

If that's not an option, honesty is good, short and sweet.

Women shouldn't give the number if they have no interest to begin with.
Wimps! Just say no, or even a quick "changed my mind" later. It's impolite to flake!

SH
 

Down Low

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There's something disturbing about a woman named "icky" asking men how they want to be rejected.

It's like making a bet at the track. Most of them are going to lose. All I'm after is for the winning bets to pay more than my losses on the losing bets. So I really don't give a sh1t if the losing bets break a leg coming out of the gate, never try at all, or lead all the way just to get beat by a nose at the wire. The women who desire me are worth more than all the "icky" rejections put together.

Besides, a sicko who's out to hurt your ego, is literally drooling over herself to get to the punch line. A normal woman gives several hours of delicious ego boosting, over and over, for months on end. The various "icky" lets-be-hags are minor nuisances -- silly wastes of time -- not the crushing ego-breakers they imagine themselves to be.
 
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