"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How do you motivate yourself to do the right thing?

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DJ Axton

Don Juan
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I'm beginning to hate myself.

Up until recently I was a major player. I went from one meaningless hook up to another, which in college* is not the best thing to do, as pretty much everyone knows eachother. Recently I decided to turn over a new leaf, and found myself a girl I really like, and am getting into a relationship with her. It's nice.

But I'm finding it hard to stick by that. Everywhere I go, every single girl comes on to me, some even fall in love with me like fairytale princesses. It's so annoying, because I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, but these girls aren't making it easy for me!

So, how do you do it? How do you motivate yourself into saying no and not kicking yourself for it the next day, no matter how much you know it was the right thing to do? How do you get over it when the fittest girl sighs like a 12-year old when you walk past, leering over you like Bella to Edward, and you know you cannot act on it?

All advice welcome. Thanks.

-DJ



*I'm from the UK, so that's High School to you.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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R1ch4rd

Don Juan
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Hi mate.

Yeah i know what you mean by wanting a meaningful, you may get a bit AFC what might loose some interest.
It's really down to whether you just want a long lasting. Then you would have to go with her. I know right now I want just fun, with multiple girls, because i'm living my life, but there may be times and when im in my late 20s to have a much more solid relationship.
Find out what you want the most and do that, the right thing is your thing. If that hurts your gf feelings i would simply say " i don't want to cheat on you, i don't no commiments and that's how i'm going to be happiest for now"

Sorry if im not much help, thought i try lol
 
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R1ch4rd

Don Juan
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no problem i sent you a pm aswell. I'm from Uk wondered if you could help a fellow newbie don juan out a bit
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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CaptainJ

Master Don Juan
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Who says you are doing the wrong thing? Listen to your body, it's obviously screaming out for you to hook up with as many girls as possible, which will make you happy. Don't tie yourself down to one girl, especially when you are so young. Leave the LTRs for when you get older. Just do casual dating with lots of different girls.
 
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