"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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How do you make a girl lose interest?

Probos

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Hmm... firstly, I'm probably best described as a recovering AFC. Only ever been with one girl, wasn't too keen on her but it dragged on for over a year, basically I was just using her for sex and company and kept reminding her of this now and then cos I didn't want to give her the wrong idea. She insisted she was ok with that but I suspected otherwise....

Anyway, got sick of her and told her I don't want to see her anymore because I want to spend my time on other things. This was some 3+ months ago, and she still texts and calls me every week or two, asking "are you still mad". I tell her I'm not mad, I just don't want to see her anymore... I just keep my tone very flat and cold hoping not to encourage her, maybe that makes her think I'm mad, dunno, don't care.

So anyway, I need some ideas on the best way to deal with her. Ideally so I'd never hear from her again. Any tips would be much appreciated. Also interested in opinions on the morality of using a girl for sex when you suspect she wants more.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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If she is still calling you, she probably thinks there's still some hope, at least as a friend. I guess she thinks that there's something she has done to put you off her and thinks that she can put it right. Asking if you are still mad, suggests that she's blaming herself for something she hasn't done.

I'd say the kindest way to get the point across is to tell her you are seeing somebody else and that you can no longer keep in touch with her. Perhaps then she'll give up, get on with her life and meet someone else.

As for the morality issue, there's no question that using anybody for anything is immoral and selfish. If you just want sex and nothing more, there are plenty of loose wh*res you can pick up at clubs or why not consider a prostitute?
 

Probos

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Heh... she's offered me anal in the past, I wasn't keen... maybe I'm a perverted freak for not wanting it, whatever. Might work on some girls though. :)

I might have come across as having been mean to her, that wasn't the case. I always tried to be nice, fixed stuff for her, helped her move, saved her in emergencies, took her out, and so on... was on a slippery slope to something I never wanted with this girl, so I figured I'd better bail.

If a little white lie "I'm seeing someone else" will do the trick then I'll try that next time she calls. The less pain I cause her the happier I'll be.
 
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