"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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How do you make a girl lose interest?

Probos

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Hmm... firstly, I'm probably best described as a recovering AFC. Only ever been with one girl, wasn't too keen on her but it dragged on for over a year, basically I was just using her for sex and company and kept reminding her of this now and then cos I didn't want to give her the wrong idea. She insisted she was ok with that but I suspected otherwise....

Anyway, got sick of her and told her I don't want to see her anymore because I want to spend my time on other things. This was some 3+ months ago, and she still texts and calls me every week or two, asking "are you still mad". I tell her I'm not mad, I just don't want to see her anymore... I just keep my tone very flat and cold hoping not to encourage her, maybe that makes her think I'm mad, dunno, don't care.

So anyway, I need some ideas on the best way to deal with her. Ideally so I'd never hear from her again. Any tips would be much appreciated. Also interested in opinions on the morality of using a girl for sex when you suspect she wants more.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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If she is still calling you, she probably thinks there's still some hope, at least as a friend. I guess she thinks that there's something she has done to put you off her and thinks that she can put it right. Asking if you are still mad, suggests that she's blaming herself for something she hasn't done.

I'd say the kindest way to get the point across is to tell her you are seeing somebody else and that you can no longer keep in touch with her. Perhaps then she'll give up, get on with her life and meet someone else.

As for the morality issue, there's no question that using anybody for anything is immoral and selfish. If you just want sex and nothing more, there are plenty of loose wh*res you can pick up at clubs or why not consider a prostitute?
 

Probos

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Heh... she's offered me anal in the past, I wasn't keen... maybe I'm a perverted freak for not wanting it, whatever. Might work on some girls though. :)

I might have come across as having been mean to her, that wasn't the case. I always tried to be nice, fixed stuff for her, helped her move, saved her in emergencies, took her out, and so on... was on a slippery slope to something I never wanted with this girl, so I figured I'd better bail.

If a little white lie "I'm seeing someone else" will do the trick then I'll try that next time she calls. The less pain I cause her the happier I'll be.
 
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