How do you LTR guys do it...

[Barrister]

An LTR provides a sense of security and allows the man to focus his energies elsewhere aside from the pursuit of women. Plus, if you truly find one of the “good” ones out there, I’m told they can be good lifelong partners who enhance your life.

I can’t say I’ve ever been in a LTR that stayed good past the 2 year mark. Staleness and resentment begin to creep in. I’m not sure I’m built for it. I’d like to think there’s someone out there who I think will still look sexy to me and who I don’t grow bored/tired of after that couple year mark. Even (maybe even especially) the hot ones become unbearable.

 

[RBK]

You will always have the urge to look at other women. The poster suggestion meditation is dead on.

You can be with a 10/10 for years and the urge is there. It's our male biology. You will always want to bang a younger hotter girl. It's in our DNA.

Finding a good woman is hard, if you want a family you must vet properly. Sometimes the other vagina isn't worth losing what you have, even if the thought crosses your brain. If you are Alpha enough she won't care if you sleep with other women from time to time. At least that's my situation.

 

[In2theGame]

Well I'm trying to be the "Good Boy" and I have been thus far. Today that beautiful Latina girl was aggressively following me around the gym making it heavily obvious she wants to talk to me but I've kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it just feels "Wrong" for not going after Women. Meaning suppressing your natural urges to fvck. I dont know if that makes sense? It's like wearing an invisible chastity lol it just.... feels off and restrictive on Manliness in terms of sexuality.

Some Men I guess are built differently as @Dash Riprock mentioned, it's in the DNA. my Father was a big Womanizer/Player so maybes that's rooted in me? who knows but It's just a strange feeling on feeling restricted but at the same time enjoying the GF side of things.

 

[Epicwinguy]

Stuck with their so because they can’t get anyone else

 

[RickTheToad]

Well I'm trying to be the "Good Boy" and I have been thus far. Today that beautiful Latina girl was aggressively following me around the gym making it heavily obvious she wants to talk to me but I've kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it just feels "Wrong" for not going after Women. Meaning suppressing your natural urges to fvck. I dont know if that makes sense? It's like wearing an invisible chastity lol it just.... feels off and restrictive on Manliness in terms of sexuality.

Some Men I guess are built differently as @Dash Riprock mentioned, it's in the DNA. my Father was a big Womanizer/Player so maybes that's rooted in me? who knows but It's just a strange feeling on feeling restricted but at the same time enjoying the GF side of things.

It's called a relationship. There are pluses and minuses. This is one of the minuses; and trust when I say I feel you.

 

[manfrombelow]

Men are designed to spray seed, which means it's 100% natural for us to have the urge to fvck and fvck and fvck.

It's just that, men are also designed to control his feelings. And to me, sexual urges are just feelings after all.

 

[BadBoy89]

Why are you posting pics of fat chicks?

I call for OP to be banned from Sosuave for at least one week.

 

[manfrombelow]

Monogamy doesn't work for men. Let that sink in.

 

[deadmasterx]

With that said, there's still a desire to fvck other Women and I think many guys feel the same.

I'd say it's more of an instict than "some guys has, others don't". But, even tho it's there, doesn't mean that you have to let it control you.

Do you guys in an LTR just ignore this from other Women? How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?

I'm in a relationship for almost a year. I have never approached any other women in the meantime (some did approach me, tho) and restrained myself of flirting with other women. Thoughts came? Of course they did. Are there women that I would love to be smashing too? Of course there are. But there are three things that keeps me from doing that:

1) The respect and consideration I have for my relationship and my girlfriend.
I love her, I don't want her to be hurt, and at the same time thoughts about other women comes to my mind I think about her and they just flow away. Everything about my girl drives me wild, so I know that if I **** any other women I'd be exchanging gold for iron.

2) My word.
When you get in a relationship you're giving your word of being with only one woman (unless you made deals of open relationships or stupid **** like that). As a man, the only thing that you have is your name and your word. If you make a promise, you got to make it true. A man with no word is a boy, as my father used to say.

3) Self control
It's not because you feel like doing something that it means you can, should or have to do it. There are people I want to kill, there are people that I want to disappear from my life, but still, I won't be killing or kidnapping them to throw them in a river tied up. Being able to control yourself, especially with your urges (eating, ****ing, so on) is the best trait a man can have.

If you're in a relationship that isn't, somehow, fulfilling, it's easier for you to be letting these thoughts take control over you and end up cheating on your girl. As a man, the only thing you can do is fixing it - either making it better and fulfilling or breaking up and finding someone who is exactly what you want.

Relationships are a promise that you made to someone else of things you would do. That's why for it to work you'll need to be true with your words, actions and the other person too.

 

[Serenity]

I know that if I **** any other women I'd be exchanging gold for iron.

These are wise words.

Some men don't feel this way about their relationship though, to them I would say go get iron because it's better than dirt. A relationship should feel like gold, if it doesn't then something is wrong (whether it be oneself or the woman).

 

[BigFoot04]

There's men with hundreds of lays who still haven't gotten lust "out of their system."

The more you indulge in something and cave into each & every urge, the more you train your brain to crave whatever that reward may be (sugar, sex, porn, food, etc). Addiction, essentially.

In my opinion, it's more practical to accept lust as a natural fleeting compulsion and respond to it accordingly by learning to experience the craving without resistance or indulging (via meditation).

Your idea that it's much easier to focus on self-improvement after spending your younger years chasing women is nonsensical. It's more easier to focus on self-improvement when you're not slave to temporary compulsions (lust, food cravings, binge watching Netflix or Youtube, etc). One of the way you become less prone to these compulsions is through meditation.

I agree, however, that once you've bedded more than a few women that it's a lot easier to be in an LTR without your mind wandering with curiosity what it's like to be with other women.

I agree , you don't get lust out of your system unless you become desensitised to it in general which will affect any LTR.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My gf takes my desire for other women and just sucks it out of me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Perfect representation. And completely unavoidable.

Do your options need to restrict?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My gf takes my desire for other women and just sucks it out of me.

Its attention. You need to move around socially even if you're not fvcking them.

 

[RangerMIke]

I concur that men shouldn't feel ashamed for lusting after different women... it's a normal and mostly unavoidable desire. How a man navigates that desire is an entirely different conversation though.

Truth... if you turn yourself into a eunuch to try and keep a LTR going you are going to lose that chick. Is you LTR chick going to get mad at you for noticing other women... yep... and you have to be okay with that. It's okay for a woman to be a little jealous, it keeps her on her toes, and believe it or not she actually prefers this. As long as you don't cross that line from observation to action.

LTRs are hard... REALLY hard. It takes a lot of work, a lot of give/take. But an LTR is a partnership and the giving and taking has to be balanced. She is meeting your needs, and you are meeting hers. As long as this is happening and she doesn't think she can do better than you it will work.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hahaha quality female. This idea needs kicked to the curb these days.
Modanna/horrre complex is just as bad as oneitis. Its a false idea that my mom wasnt the 2 bit horre that she was. And so many religious women are exposed to be.
As soon as a girl says that she dont lie or she doesnt do this or that my radar goes fcking nuts lol.

Different strokes for different folks. Any female, side piece, gf, LTR, fiance`, wife, etc. needs to stay in your frame. Once she's out, you put her ass on notice. If she continues, you throw her to the side and never look back.

 

[manfrombelow]

Different strokes for different folks. Any female, side piece, gf, LTR, fiance`, wife, etc. needs to stay in your frame. Once she's out, you put her ass on notice. If she continues, you throw her to the side and never look back.

100% agree. Some guys over-complicate things by over-categorizing "this and that woman", while in reality, it doesn't matter the status or position of the woman, what matters is that woman must stay & operate inside your frame and that she should be submissive to you. Once this condition stops working (she's out of your frame and stops being submissive to you), the relationship (no matter its kind) ends.

 

[RickTheToad]

What you said is true. I was referring to this silly notion of a "quality" woman. As in an idea in the head.
True no matter what type she is she is in your frame.
Frame is fluid. I would better to say "dont let her get to you" even if you must walk away. Dont just react. Act.

Quality is only skin deep and needs to be kept in check and monitored. As soon as you see some variation, you bring it up to her, and that you do not like it. If it continues, you 86. It's a balance that a dude has to watch on his partner. It's like saying the mice will play while the cat is away. She will try to get away with things or push boundaries and see what she can get away with. The dude shouldn't allow it and could mention in the past, so and so did this, I got rid of her quick. She may come back and get in line or say, if you want to get rid of me, get rid of me, you can just leave it like that. Make her mind wonder. Never let her know what you will be doing before doing it; just let her know it's a possibility.