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How do you LTR guys do it...

In2theGame

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First things first, my girlfriend is great aside from a few things that annoy me here and there but overall a very solid GF. I understand no Woman is perfect. With that said, there's still a desire to fvck other Women and I think many guys feel the same. I hit the gym 4 to 5 times a week and I see a few girls that I would totally destroy in the bedroom but I restrain myself and keep to my workouts. I do however feel like approaching them and I have to stop myself from doing so. Keep in mind this is my first LTR (now 2 years in since I started in mid 2019) since 2010 and my reaction to approach Women has been second nature for a decade.

There's a short and very petite brunette that is really cute. Even though she's small, her ass makes a statement for her size lol. Then there is this hispanic chick that's cute and stares at me non stop. Recently she's started smiling at me everytime she sees me. Today she was talking with a friend? not sure but I could tell she made a comment about me because they both looked at me and smiled. I know for a fact she wants this D.

Lastly there is this incredibly sexy Latina with a phenomenal ass! and beautiful face with long black hair. She walks with a "stuck up" facial expression and a few times I've noticed she'll walk across me on purpose it seems but I didnt read much into it. Today I caught her looking over at me in the mirror and at the end of my workout I went across the gym to finish up with some stretches. From a distance I could tell she noticed me in this area. About 5 to 10 minutes later... who comes to sit right next to me to do bodyweight squats... The latina chick. Im thinking ah fvck, I want that ass and it seems like she's wanting me to spark up a convo. At one point i take a breather and sit on the floor area and she ends up doing the same. We're both sitting there with a tension in the air that you can feel. After about almost 20 minutes.... I could tell she was thinking "Ugh, is he going to talk to me!?" and then soon after she grabbed her water bottle and left. it was very obvious she wanted me to say something.

Deep down It made me feel like such a pvssy because I normally would say something but I didn't. All in all its fine because I have a GF that I do care about but in the back of my mind I always think, If things end for whatever reason between my GF and I, I've missed out on all these Women. I'm 38 now and females as young as 21 - 25 still want the D from me. I'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole of looks but let's just say A LOT of Women find me very attractive and right now im working on getting below 10% bodyfat so I look more chiseled out.

Do you guys in an LTR just ignore this from other Women? How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?

Also, The sexy Latina has been approached from many dudes and I could tell she just brushes them off. For reference, her body reminds of this chick but with a better face.

image.jpg
 

TheProspect

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How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?
You'll likely always experience that urge (sexual desire for other chicks) to some degree, no matter how great your GF is. So it's not so much a matter of eliminating the urge than it is learning how to manage it when it arises.

In regards to how to actually control or manage it it, well to start out you can begin to manage it by realizing it's just a fleeting urge -- an impulsive desire that if not acted on immediately will eventually subside.

To reduce your emotional response to such cravings, I recommend mindfulness meditation.

Look at how much you wrote about these chicks who are not your GF, and how in detail you got when you sexualized them. It appears a chick catches your eye, you then notice her physical features before sexualizing her in your mind. Sexualizing her in your mind turns you on and strengthens the urge. The cycle repeats.

A strong mindfulness and/or meditation practice will help to insert a gap between stimulus and response. In other words, once you something catches your eye, you are less prone to be being swept away by a unconscious emotion (lust).

In summary: Control your urges by not identify with & ruminating on the content of them. Meditation is one method that can assist with this.
 

mrgoodstuff

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First things first, my girlfriend is great aside from a few things that annoy me here and there but overall a very solid GF. I understand no Woman is perfect. With that said, there's still a desire to fvck other Women and I think many guys feel the same. I hit the gym 4 to 5 times a week and I see a few girls that I would totally destroy in the bedroom but I restrain myself and keep to my workouts. I do however feel like approaching them and I have to stop myself from doing so. Keep in mind this is my first LTR (now 2 years in since I started in mid 2019) since 2010 and my reaction to approach Women has been second nature for a decade.

There's a short and very petite brunette that is really cute. Even though she's small, her ass makes a statement for her size lol. Then there is this hispanic chick that's cute and stares at me non stop. Recently she's started smiling at me everytime she sees me. Today she was talking with a friend? not sure but I could tell she made a comment about me because they both looked at me and smiled. I know for a fact she wants this D.

Lastly there is this incredibly sexy Latina with a phenomenal ass! and beautiful face with long black hair. She walks with a "stuck up" facial expression and a few times I've noticed she'll walk across me on purpose it seems but I didnt read much into it. Today I caught her looking over at me in the mirror and at the end of my workout I went across the gym to finish up with some stretches. From a distance I could tell she noticed me in this area. About 5 to 10 minutes later... who comes to sit right next to me to do bodyweight squats... The latina chick. Im thinking ah fvck, I want that ass and it seems like she's wanting me to spark up a convo. At one point i take a breather and sit on the floor area and she ends up doing the same. We're both sitting there with a tension in the air that you can feel. After about almost 20 minutes.... I could tell she was thinking "Ugh, is he going to talk to me!?" and then soon after she grabbed her water bottle and left. it was very obvious she wanted me to say something.

Deep down It made me feel like such a pvssy because I normally would say something but I didn't. All in all its fine because I have a GF that I do care about but in the back of my mind I always think, If things end for whatever reason between my GF and I, I've missed out on all these Women. I'm 38 now and females as young as 21 - 25 still want the D from me. I'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole of looks but let's just say A LOT of Women find me very attractive and right now im working on getting below 10% bodyfat so I look more chiseled out.

Do you guys in an LTR just ignore this from other Women? How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?

Also, The sexy Latina has been approached from many dudes and I could tell she just brushes them off. For reference, her body reminds of this chick but with a better face.

View attachment 6783
So she's loaded? A millionaire?
 

image

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Georgepithyou

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Think about it this way, you want to plow those women but do you really want to date them? Men are only as loyal as their options and you shouldn't feel ashamed for lusting after different women.


In regards to how to actually control or manage it it, well to start out you can begin to manage it by realizing it's just a fleeting urge -- an impulsive desire that if not acted on immediately will eventually subside.
In my opinion, guys need to get this out of their system as early as possible. Spend your younger years sleeping with as many women as possible, after that it is much easier to commit to one woman and focus on your goals/self improvement.
 

TheProspect

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In my opinion, guys need to get this out of their system as early as possible. Spend your younger years sleeping with as many women as possible, after that it is much easier to commit to one woman and focus on your goals/self improvement.
There's men with hundreds of lays who still haven't gotten lust "out of their system."

The more you indulge in something and cave into each & every urge, the more you train your brain to crave whatever that reward may be (sugar, sex, porn, food, etc). Addiction, essentially.

In my opinion, it's more practical to accept lust as a natural fleeting compulsion and respond to it accordingly by learning to experience the craving without resistance or indulging (via meditation).

Your idea that it's much easier to focus on self-improvement after spending your younger years chasing women is nonsensical. It's more easier to focus on self-improvement when you're not slave to temporary compulsions (lust, food cravings, binge watching Netflix or Youtube, etc). One of the way you become less prone to these compulsions is through meditation.

I agree, however, that once you've bedded more than a few women that it's a lot easier to be in an LTR without your mind wandering with curiosity what it's like to be with other women.
 

TheProspect

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Men are only as loyal as their options and you shouldn't feel ashamed for lusting after different women.
I concur that men shouldn't feel ashamed for lusting after different women... it's a normal and mostly unavoidable desire. How a man navigates that desire is an entirely different conversation though.

I disagree with this common manosphere cliche that "men are only as loyal as their options"...

The loyalty of men in committed relationships are not a reflection of their options, but rather their character and integrity.
 

metalwater

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I concur that men shouldn't feel ashamed for lusting after different women... it's a normal and mostly unavoidable desire. How a man navigates that desire is an entirely different conversation though.

I disagree with this common manosphere cliche that "men are only as loyal as their options"...

The loyalty of men in committed relationships are not a reflection of their options, but rather their character and integrity.
If you really believe this, then pls take your seat at the front of the class(teaching). This is where steal meets iron. On the path to great things.
 

Fruitbat

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Why are you posting pics of fat chicks? Look at the size of those thighs! 20 years ago that would be “big and beautiful” section :)

seriously though, it’s completely fvcking easy. if you’re very horny, masturbate. Why do you need to actualkt fvck the girl and break promises? Ego?

yes it’s natural to want to fvck everything that walks. It’s also natural to want to beat the skulls of your enemies with a rock and run around eating their liver while screaming at the sky.

Dead easy. Knock one out and you don’t care. That’s what it’s for.

imagine how you would feel if your girl was banging guys from the gym. Realise that’s what it will do to her. If that doesn’t bother you, become single.

I am not sure on your age. I found this easier in my 30s. In my early 20s this was almost impossible to control . A couple of times I turned up to a club with one girl and went home with a different one
 

Georgepithyou

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There's men with hundreds of lays who still haven't gotten lust "out of their system."

The more you indulge in something and cave into each & every urge, the more you train your brain to crave whatever that reward may be (sugar, sex, porn, food, etc). Addiction, essentially.

In my opinion, it's more practical to accept lust as a natural fleeting compulsion and respond to it accordingly by learning to experience the craving without resistance or indulging (via meditation).

Your idea that it's much easier to focus on self-improvement after spending your younger years chasing women is nonsensical. It's more easier to focus on self-improvement when you're not slave to temporary compulsions (lust, food cravings, binge watching Netflix or Youtube, etc). One of the way you become less prone to these compulsions is through meditation.

I agree, however, that once you've bedded more than a few women that it's a lot easier to be in an LTR without your mind wandering with curiosity what it's like to be with other women.
Different things work for different people, for me i just had to get it out of my system and the "player" lifestyle really wasn't for me nor was juggling multiple plates which is really time consuming. Had i not experienced that first hand i would still have a wandering eye.
 

TheFinalLine

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A LTR isn’t the same as a marriage. These are two different worlds. I can’t count the number of men that I know or in passing that didn’t have the story about how an actual marriage changed everything.

If you have never been married, you absolutely have never intimately observed or experienced the provider/lover dynamic in its pure form. In fact it’s best you don’t even talk about it. There are many rewards and penalties both sides of the coin. The best part is being loved and adored by your toddlers. This feeling is better than any feeling you could ever get from a woman. Women are a transitory experience. This is why men really stay in a wrecked marriage. This is also why “your wife having another man’s baby and secretly having you raise it is the ultimate travesty. You WILL NOT recover. Ever.
This is why it is the most hidden secret of women. Which is why abortion exists other than to reduce minority populations or at least keep the numbers at bay

A lot depends on the era in which you were raised. There are three and in some cases four generations on this forum.

Most of all of this stuff is centered around this phenomenon. The lover and the provider dualistic sexual strategy. What if I told you this is the real reason all of this is happening? Every bit of it.

See, it has been proven beyond all shadow of doubt, that the woman gives the lover an advantage of impregnating her. Many are curious to know why an intelligent woman would fail to use protection with her side men. You ask WTF? It’s actually part of the sexual strategy. It makes sense once you fully understand it. It’s really quite simplistic and you wonder why you never saw it before.

Men in a marriage with children go through a physiological change. In a way, he becomes blinded to some inputs. He sees something but it never makes it to his reasoning level like someone looking at it from the outside. Many call it love is blind or say the man is a wimp or whatever. It is unjust to say that about him. He can’t see it because it never makes it to his reasoning level. Biology has set it up this way. On purpose. Just like when his wife fails to use protection in her exploits. Reasoning is impaired biologically and she will, in the vast majority of cases, not use protection. This is by design. Optimized survival of the species. I didn’t get any of this from some book. I observed it in life

The untold truth is men are way better parents by a HUGE margin once children are out of the toddler stage. Look it up. Once a child is grown beyond mommy, the shield actually survives better with the father. Statistically the child has exponentially better chances of an optimum life. Mommy is no longer needed for good learning and development. Single mom’s children have the least potential of surviving well. She will in fact ruin them. Not on purpose of course. She wasn’t built for that. It’s also biological.

The paternity test is a game changer. So effective that California and other areas have made it illegal to paternity check a child’s origin without the mother’s permission. You can go to jail if you do. This is going to spread. This is ultimate protection from paternity tests.

Men stay in marriages for a very good reason. I am against them staying. Especially if he can get the kids. But we know how that goes in most cases.

The final answer to the OPs theme is…men find a shutdown of certain biological responses and, though enjoying the beauty of other women, his actual drive for actually fukking other women is muted to a certain extent by biology.

If you take on the provider role, you are going to experience this to an extent. This is its design. Cutting down these men is an expression of your ignorance. Especially as they make children and you don’t. If that’s important to you.

If you want to change this world, you make paternity tests mandatory at birth. This saves billions of legal expenses as well. This gives a man a choice to continue with her or not.

I believe this to be a right. To beat up men and call them cucks is an expression of your ignorance. So if you’ve never gone down that hole, shut your suck.

A man traveling across the world or one exercising the lover half of her sexual strategy will desire many women. Once he enters a marriage his biology will change. He gets optimized to protect and bring up the next generation.

Why do men cheat? Lack of intimacy and sex. This is why sex needs to be intelligently rationed for her to keep him on the string and in protection of children biological protection mode. She fukked up. Society and government have really screwed up everything. It is the interference of government that is the actual destruction. Women and men have been perverted. Especially women.

Without children there is ABSOLUTELY no purpose for marriage. No waiting. No putting it off. You have a greater chance of raising another man’s child.
 
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RickTheToad

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First things first, my girlfriend is great aside from a few things that annoy me here and there but overall a very solid GF. I understand no Woman is perfect. With that said, there's still a desire to fvck other Women and I think many guys feel the same. I hit the gym 4 to 5 times a week and I see a few girls that I would totally destroy in the bedroom but I restrain myself and keep to my workouts. I do however feel like approaching them and I have to stop myself from doing so. Keep in mind this is my first LTR (now 2 years in since I started in mid 2019) since 2010 and my reaction to approach Women has been second nature for a decade.

There's a short and very petite brunette that is really cute. Even though she's small, her ass makes a statement for her size lol. Then there is this hispanic chick that's cute and stares at me non stop. Recently she's started smiling at me everytime she sees me. Today she was talking with a friend? not sure but I could tell she made a comment about me because they both looked at me and smiled. I know for a fact she wants this D.

Lastly there is this incredibly sexy Latina with a phenomenal ass! and beautiful face with long black hair. She walks with a "stuck up" facial expression and a few times I've noticed she'll walk across me on purpose it seems but I didnt read much into it. Today I caught her looking over at me in the mirror and at the end of my workout I went across the gym to finish up with some stretches. From a distance I could tell she noticed me in this area. About 5 to 10 minutes later... who comes to sit right next to me to do bodyweight squats... The latina chick. Im thinking ah fvck, I want that ass and it seems like she's wanting me to spark up a convo. At one point i take a breather and sit on the floor area and she ends up doing the same. We're both sitting there with a tension in the air that you can feel. After about almost 20 minutes.... I could tell she was thinking "Ugh, is he going to talk to me!?" and then soon after she grabbed her water bottle and left. it was very obvious she wanted me to say something.

Deep down It made me feel like such a pvssy because I normally would say something but I didn't. All in all its fine because I have a GF that I do care about but in the back of my mind I always think, If things end for whatever reason between my GF and I, I've missed out on all these Women. I'm 38 now and females as young as 21 - 25 still want the D from me. I'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole of looks but let's just say A LOT of Women find me very attractive and right now im working on getting below 10% bodyfat so I look more chiseled out.

Do you guys in an LTR just ignore this from other Women? How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?

Also, The sexy Latina has been approached from many dudes and I could tell she just brushes them off. For reference, her body reminds of this chick but with a better face.

View attachment 6783
I hear ya. Trust when I say it's hard. However, one must ask themselves, is the potential sexual encounter worth possibly losing what you have with your GF? If she's a quality female, is the f uck with the other female worth the risk? After all, while replacing your GF with another female is relatively easy, but finding a quality GF one is not.
 

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TheFinalLine

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“addition to previous post”

Single mothers will observe how you interact with her children. Women will say “I want to observe him and see if he will be a good father to my children.”

What she is looking for is if you will switch to provider and protection mode with your biology. This will tell her whether or not she will be able to ration sex and keep you on the string effectively, at the biological level. Her biology will shut down for your sex as a desire and intimacy dynamic and switch to her dualistic sexual strategy. She will most likely not know this consciously but her biology is fully aware of it.
 

RickTheToad

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The paternity test is a game changer. So effective that California and other areas have made it illegal to paternity check a child’s origin without the mother’s permission. You can go to jail if you do. This is going to spread. This is ultimate protection from paternity tests.
This is incorrect. Please check your facts prior to posting as it can lead people in the incorrect manor.

 

In2theGame

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I understand what some of you guys are saying about self control and I have been good with that but I feel like an impulse to go and attract/fvck more Women even though my GF is great. It's not a lack of intimacy or anything, in fact sometimes I get slightly annoyed at how much my GF wants to grab my c*ck and fvck me. She doesn't stop touching me and hugging me when I'm around her. I'm not complaining about this because this is what a GF should be doing for her Man. She cooks, cleans, pays for things if I ask her to, etc. But i STILL have an urge for MORE pvssy. I do not want to date these other Women, I just want to fvck them. I'm happy with my GF as a partner and sexual companion.

As I mentioned in my original post, I was single for so long that this is how i developed and after having a lot of success with Women, I find it hard to stop. A while ago in another thread, someone mentioned that if a Man has had many many Women, it kind of destroys his ability to be content with one. In other words to truly bond to a Woman sexually. I'm finding that to possibly be true.

My perception of relationships have changed so much over my life. I loved my first real girlfriend from the ages of 18 to 22. She cheated on me a lot and I experienced a lot of heartbreak with her. From finding out she was at a hotel with some dudes to me calling her one day and a guy picking up her phone while I hear her giggling in the background. Then I fell madly in love with my second girlfriend. She was amazing and the chemistry between us was fantastic. Probably the only time I felt crazy about a girl but as the story goes... towards the end I found out she had been fvcking some other guys and lied to me MANY times. Even down talking me in secret emails i found etc. I was crushed beyond comprehension. That was 2010..... and I have never looked a LTR's or Women the same ever again from that point.

Since then I found that I have the ability to be with so many different Women and I find it hard to turn that faucet off. My girlfriend says the usual "I would never do that type of thing" but i genuinely don't believe that. I have the mentality that my GF or any Woman for that matter can lie/cheat and thats how I view things now. i dont have the mantality I had when i was in my early to mid 20's of "She would never do that to me". I dont put ANYTHING past ANY Woman. Sh*t for all I know, she could be messaging an old FB on social media when Im not around. Anyway, thats not the point of this thread/post.... But I've come to feel like no matter how great of a GF a female can be... I'll STILL want to fvck other beautiful Women.
 

TheFinalLine

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This is incorrect. Please check your facts prior to posting as it can lead people in the incorrect manor.

please read laws. Cannot be used in court. You will still be liable for child support if you do it without her permission. Recent cases in Canada are also supporting this trend. Precedence has now been set. That means it will never go away and only spread.

 
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Serenity

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Do you guys in an LTR just ignore this from other Women? How do you control that urge to sexually conquer other Women when you already have a GF/Fiance/Wife?
I know what I have, I really enjoy what I have and I know I can't get that back nowhere near as quickly as I could sex with a random hottie. So for me it's as simple as my marriage being worth more to me than what any hottie could offer me in a single night.

I will admit it has not been easy, there have been temptations that have been hard to resist. My urges don't give a fvck about consequences, I know I would regret it if I went for it though so I have to remind myself of the big picture. It has gotten easier though as time has passed, if I blew it on another woman I might as well consider my last 6 years a waste of time.

You need to figure out how you really want to live your life. Do want to stay a bachelor or do you really want a LTR with all that comes with it? Only you can know what's worth more to you, it's your choice.
 
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