How do you handle women who hang out with guys?

[corrector]

I'm not in a relationship or anything right now but I ask this because I find it an interesting point of discussion and there seems to be a bit of contention on how to handle this.

First off I strongly believe that male-female platonic relationships are almost impossible. There can be some exceptions: a girl can be friends with a gay guy, they can friends by association (guys can be friends with their buddies wife), but a truly platonic relationship between a man and women, where neither of them are attracted to one another, is extremely rare, albeit I guess it is possible in theory.

Anyway, if you're seeing a girl, and she hangs out with guys friends (especially if its 1 on 1) what is your reaction? Basically I see a few different options

A) You act aloof and indifferent and continue your own life and developing your own hobbies, skills, friendships, etc
B) You set boundaries and tell her you won't tolerate it (or break up with her if she doesn't)
C) You only date women who only have female friends

I personally prefer to go with C...but lets say you screen for that type of girl but later she casually mention she hung out with a guy (even if she fabricated the whole story as a **** test) how would you react in that moment? I'd honestly probably just be completely indifferent and withdraw attention or even stop seeing her completely it was negatively impacting our relationship.

These types of things usually don't go well in the end. She is never really all there with you.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I agree that it's impossible for two heterosexuals of the opposite sex to form platonic relationships. There is no good reason for a woman to have male friends, even if she isn't attractrd to them they will want her at some point and this is not good.

These orbitors will boost her ego, which is never a good thing.

 

[Barrister]

I agree that it's impossible for two heterosexuals of the opposite sex to form platonic relationships. There is no good reason for a woman to have male friends, even if she isn't attractrd to them they will want her at some point and this is not good.

These orbitors will boost her ego, which is never a good thing.

If she’s just a plate then who cares. If it’s an LTR it will become a problem. I just got out of an LTR with a woman who had a lot of orbiters and was addicted to the attention from it. She constantly needed outside male validation aside from the relationship. Despite me constantly using dread game to keep her honest it didn’t affect her need/want to have that validation and it got exhausting to deal with. I suppose maybe some men are fine with the constant struggle but it wasn’t for me.

I would add that a lot of the exchanges were inappropriate and had the tables been turned she would have bitten my head off over some of the things she said to them and they said to her.

 

[metalwater]

I agree that it's impossible for two heterosexuals of the opposite sex to form platonic relationships. There is no good reason for a woman to have male friends, even if she isn't attractrd to them they will want her at some point and this is not good.

These orbitors will boost her ego, which is never a good thing.

the extra men cause her to be less submissive because of the attention from testosterone unless the men are really like girls.

 

[metalwater]

I'm not in a relationship or anything right now but I ask this because I find it an interesting point of discussion and there seems to be a bit of contention on how to handle this.

First off I strongly believe that male-female platonic relationships are almost impossible. There can be some exceptions: a girl can be friends with a gay guy, they can friends by association (guys can be friends with their buddies wife), but a truly platonic relationship between a man and women, where neither of them are attracted to one another, is extremely rare, albeit I guess it is possible in theory.

Anyway, if you're seeing a girl, and she hangs out with guys friends (especially if its 1 on 1) what is your reaction? Basically I see a few different options

A) You act aloof and indifferent and continue your own life and developing your own hobbies, skills, friendships, etc
B) You set boundaries and tell her you won't tolerate it (or break up with her if she doesn't)
C) You only date women who only have female friends

I personally prefer to go with C...but lets say you screen for that type of girl but later she casually mention she hung out with a guy (even if she fabricated the whole story as a **** test) how would you react in that moment? I'd honestly probably just be completely indifferent and withdraw attention or even stop seeing her completely it was negatively impacting our relationship.

If it is bothering a man, then the dynamic is wrong in the relationship. Can try to manage it by doing one of those choices or the other ideas suggested. If it is really just a platonic friend and no chance of romance then it will not set off your senses. the gut feeling that we don't like it is because our body (if enough testosterone) can notice things that our mind does not. even if you manage it, will always be an issue. if the girl really has oneitis for us, a male friend will not alert us in the same way because our body will see that that desire channel is closed.

it is never the dude that is setting our alarm, it is always the girl that is ringing it because of the dude.

for a permanent LTR, wait for a girl that has oneitis for you.

bottom line is that we want to be at peace and artificially managing something because our instinct being activated is not being at peace. you can do B and it will work if you have enough power of some sort, but it does not bring peace.

i like your choice of C the best, or if she drops the guys quickly after getting with you that is just as good.

 

[TheKid]

A woman with lots of options will be less submissive knowing there is life rafts for her to jump. Not only this but it will affect you so its a double whammy.
Her more options = you more doubts
The less options they *think they* have the less drama and ressistance youll get.
> from personal experience its not worth the drama

 

[bat soup]

I'm not in a relationship or anything right now but I ask this because I find it an interesting point of discussion and there seems to be a bit of contention on how to handle this.

First off I strongly believe that male-female platonic relationships are almost impossible. There can be some exceptions: a girl can be friends with a gay guy, they can friends by association (guys can be friends with their buddies wife), but a truly platonic relationship between a man and women, where neither of them are attracted to one another, is extremely rare, albeit I guess it is possible in theory.

Anyway, if you're seeing a girl, and she hangs out with guys friends (especially if its 1 on 1) what is your reaction? Basically I see a few different options

A) You act aloof and indifferent and continue your own life and developing your own hobbies, skills, friendships, etc
B) You set boundaries and tell her you won't tolerate it (or break up with her if she doesn't)
C) You only date women who only have female friends

I personally prefer to go with C...but lets say you screen for that type of girl but later she casually mention she hung out with a guy (even if she fabricated the whole story as a **** test) how would you react in that moment? I'd honestly probably just be completely indifferent and withdraw attention or even stop seeing her completely it was negatively impacting our relationship.

If a woman has lots of male friends, that means she's an attention whoare.

 

[SW15]

I prefer to interact with women with no close male friends. Irregular interaction with some male friend might be ok, if it's learned about after I've already penetrated her vag.

Women should mainly have female friends.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If she’s just a plate then who cares. If it’s an LTR it will become a problem. I just got out of an LTR with a woman who had a lot of orbiters and was addicted to the attention from it. She constantly needed outside male validation aside from the relationship. Despite me constantly using dread game to keep her honest it didn’t affect her need/want to have that validation and it got exhausting to deal with. I suppose maybe some men are fine with the constant struggle but it wasn’t for me.

I would add that a lot of the exchanges were inappropriate and had the tables been turned she would have bitten my head off over some of the things she said to them and they said to her.

It's "depleting", huh? Its like that for most men. There was a time where a man didn't tolerate it and that shut it down.

 

[christie]

In the age of effortless discreet sex on demand with randos online, I find it hard to worry much about something done mostly out in the open like having guy friends. Let her have her friends so that you can detect her true nature. Don't set boundaries.

Detecting true nature is valuable.

Your time and energy and selfrespect can be saved by letting them do what they will do and just observe.
I refuse to compete with those outside-the-relationship friends. Your love made a choice. Wish them well in their freedom.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I personally prefer to go with C...but lets say you screen for that type of girl but later she casually mention she hung out with a guy (even if she fabricated the whole story as a **** test) how would you react in that moment? I'd honestly probably just be completely indifferent and withdraw attention or even stop seeing her completely it was negatively impacting our relationship.

There is no such thing as "just a friend". A woman is allways getting something(affirmation, sex, benefits) out of these connections and the "friend" will allways try to fvck her at one point. Whatever it is, you do not want her to get it from another guy!

Before you ask how to react, you have to ask WHY to react.


a.) You just want her as a plate and will not invest emotions or pretty much nothing else in her.
b.) You want/ are in a LTR with that woman

Answer to a.) You dont care and you take what you want from her until you are with the next best plate.

Answer to b.) You tell her she either stops enriching her spare time with other men OR you will do the same with women.
In case she declines to stop meeting other men, she is going into plate-status and your LTR(-prospect) is practically gone even if theoretically still existent.

 

[2Rocky]

I had a female friend I met while married who was trying to break out of the friendzone with me. "I love you buddy" was her most frequent greeting to me. So many times after my marriage broke up she was Greenlighting me to make a move. Fortunately I never became desperate enough to take that next physical step.

She dated a couple guys in the last 5 years who she made a big deal of introducing me to as if to get my approval. She ended up ending it with both of them because of one reason or another. Mainly because of her business stress, and her kids issues, made her feel guilty taking time and energy away from them.

I always felt like her boyfriends were trying to get my approval or something.. Never did I feel like they were threatened by me in her life...Can a woman be Alpha Widowed by someone she never slept with?

As for my wife 6 years ago....Hell yes she should have been concerned. Nothing ever happened but I sure saw where my marriage was lacking after being around women who truly cherished me. My Experience with women who I hung out with was that they drifted away when they found a man who stimulated them emotionally, physically and mentally.