"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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How do you guys deal with a girl that may find you attractive but is banging others

Scion

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Simple situation. One of the girls I work with has a cute friend (although definitely not the kind of girl I usually think is cute). She came into my work with my co-worker recently and I struck up a bit of convo with their group. She knew who I was immediately while I didn't recognize her at first (later remembered I met her at a party like 4-5 months ago). Anyway, I got the impression that she at least findse attractive (just from her tone of voice, but maybe I'm reading things wrong). Unfortunately I was working and only had a few opportunities to socialize with them.

Here's the issue, this girl is always dating different guys it seems. I know this one night she wanted her friends to meet the current guy she's banging. So I'm not really sure how to play this if I see her again (most likely I will). I guess I could ask my co-worker to get her friend over when I'm not working, maybe say I think her friend's cute. But who knows if she'll get in the way since her friend is banging some guy (plus I don't know how highly the girls I work with think of me, I know that they find me ****y and they claim it annoys them).

Really anything on this subject. Even if it has nothing specifically with this girl I'm sure this situation will come up again in the future.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DonJoseCantosie

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^Hey bud, take the initiative and take her out. So what if she's banging other guys. Its expected of a girl her age(late teens, early 20s) to want to get her freak on at times. If you just don't do anything, you dont have a chance at all. :)
 

corrector

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You are a virgin and want your first time to be special. You don't want to loose with with a girl that's banging other guys and probably has herpes or some STD (unless all the other guys are virgins like you are, but I doubt that).
You are better than this and are not that desperate. Make sure you have her STD-proofed if you do go for her - you never know if the last guy she banged had AIDS.

You don't want to be -- horray, I lost my virginity, pat yourself on the back, but now you got herpes or some nasty STD (if you are lucky to not get AIDS), and start marking the anniversary you lost it with genital warts and being in a hospital bed.
 

Iceberg

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corrector said:
You are a virgin and want your first time to be special. You don't want to loose with with a girl that's banging other guys and probably has herpes or some STD (unless all the other guys are virgins like you are, but I doubt that).
You are better than this and are not that desperate. Make sure you have her STD-proofed if you do go for her - you never know if the last guy she banged had AIDS.

You don't want to be -- horray, I lost my virginity, pat yourself on the back, but now you got herpes or some nasty STD (if you are lucky to not get AIDS), and start marking the anniversary you lost it with genital warts and being in a hospital bed.

Holy s***. Let me guess: you live in a bubble, right? Hyperbolic chamber?

P.S. reading my posts gives you chlamydia.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Scion

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I'm not sure if corrector is a troll or some self-righteous virgin. Either way, I'm not thinking of this girl as just a way to lose my virginity. She's cute, and seems to be fun. However I have no idea how to compete with other guys, hence the question. I'm not interested in being told what STDs exist. As long as your safe (ie use a condom) the risks are reduced.
 

corrector

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Scion said:
As long as your safe (ie use a condom) the risks are reduced.
Not eliminated, and certainly it doesn't work well with herpes.
 

Iceberg

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Scion said:
I'm not sure if corrector is a troll or some self-righteous virgin. Either way, I'm not thinking of this girl as just a way to lose my virginity. She's cute, and seems to be fun. However I have no idea how to compete with other guys, hence the question. I'm not interested in being told what STDs exist. As long as your safe (ie use a condom) the risks are reduced.
Likely a troll. But he's more amusing than the others.
 

Kailex

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Damnit, Iceberg, we've PMed each other.

I've got crabs now. :rockon:

And to be honest, I think corrector administers STD-tests to his hand right before he M-Baits. You know... to play it safe.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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PRMoon

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You should just do your best to present yourself well. Your lack of experience doesn't bode well for your ability to "compete". It's best if you start out with the mentality of "I'm going to put myself out there and see what happens" rather then trying to formulate some complex strategy of communicating with this girl or worrying yourself about what other guys she's seeing etc etc. Right now you're on the bottom floor because you're not even in consideration because you haven't done anything.

I recommend you keep it light. If you see her again just go talk to her yourself. I know this can be nerve racking but that's only because you have some false pretense of it being important when really it's what we do everyday. You've already spoken to her with no stress because you were doing what comes naturally. Get yourself in that mindset, talk to her about some random crap (work related or otherwise) ask her to coffee, get her number. Done and done. After you cross that threshold you can start thinking about other things but you need to get the ball rolling before anything else can happen.
 

Scion

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Yeah that's some good advice there PRMoon. I'll probably see her this wknd (her group of friends are big drinkers) although hopefully it's not when I'm with this other hottie that may be coming to see me.
 

PRMoon

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Don't worry if there's another girl there that you like. This is what i mean by over thinking. I know you're new to this stuff but you really gotta get out of that "these things are important" mindset. If there's another girl you like who's where ever you go, talk to her too. You're not proposing marriage to either of them so there's no pressure or consequence to anything you do. There's only the the false pretense that you place on yourself. And any real problems you do have later on aren't beyond your abilities and are typically more simple then you know. Make simple moves and things will work out fine. Easy does it.
 

Scion

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So saw this girl again tonight, unfortunately she had her boytoy clawing her all night so didn't get much opportunity to talk to her alone. Did chat with her and her group, she seemed oddly attentive to what I said. Just bs that I couldn't isolate her.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Scion

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Lmao, don't worry, not looking to get married and have kids anytime soon (honestly don't think I even want kids, though that may change in the future).
 

handle

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You deal with her the same way you deal with a girl that may find you attractive but is not banging others
 
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