How do you get someone to ACTIVELY LISTEN?

[B-Lemond]

When I speak, I sometimes find myself saying "you know/you know what I mean?"

When you are speaking with someone and they are listening they usually say "uh huh/yeah/etc." to show that they are listening.

But what do you do when no form of agreement or active listening is being presented. I don't want to say "you know" because it is low value type conversational skills.

Any Suggestions?

 

[DontbeaPuss]

Active listening isn't something that you can make someone preform as it is a skill in itself to preform. What you can do while speaking is engage the listener by talking about something their interested in, which you'll be able to tell through their feedback, or engage them further into the conversation by asking them open ended questions, sharing similar experiences ect.

 

[Le Parisien]

No trick in the world will make people actively listen to you if what you say is always boring! :nono:

 

[skip2mylou781]

EYE CONTACT....seriously, eye contact......she'll either be actively listening, or she'll b hypnotized by ur eyes and she wont b listenin cuz she'll b too busy thinkin about ****ing u

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Face it, some people are incapable to actively listen. Live with it.

 

[Brooxy]

Lots of mixed replies there. Poeple can actively listen, i do it all the time. I love listening to what people say and it does EXIST. Just look at Physchiatrists, they listen to people, its their job, so it must exist. Like someone said before, eye contact is vital. But, one thing that they havent mentioned is that if you want people to actively listen to you, actively listen to them. And just let them talk because people will say alot more than you though they would say because most people dont actively listen. Just ask someone to be honest and show that you value what the say with constant eye contact and then with any luck they will actively listen back in return.

Maybe i've gone off topic but i hope it helps. Good luck.

 

[B-Lemond]

"Are you following?"

 

[Brooxy]

well im following i think. Just dont ask people "Are you following?" or more to the point, you should know the signs of when someone is actively listening such as eye contact, nodding. It's ok to chekc that someon estill understands what your saying but use more positive words like "Im glad that you understand." and "Yeah I totally agree/I can understand" instead of aksing them outright.