"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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how do you get her interest back up?

pete101

Master Don Juan
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I've been seeing this HB for a few dates, her interest was high on the first date but because I have no other options I have afc relapses ie texting back too soon, being nervous on second date etc.

On first date she was qualifying herself to me, now after the third I sense she's dominating the encounter. How do I get her IL back up before it's too late?

I'm tryna get more plates in the mean time but it is slim pickings (not that easy for some of us) to avoid oneitis. Also I try to keep thinking 'what would I do if I had other options?' However it's hard for me to picture that cos I've never been in that position.

What tips would you give me to get this interaction back on track? Do I cancel a date? Do I act less interested when she throws a strop on a date or complains?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Iceberg

Master Don Juan
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Well, I'm assuming you haven't had sex with her yet. Your description of the situation doesn't sound like a guy who's f**king this girl.

So, sex usually shifts the power dynamic back to the guy because, at the very least, the girl doesn't want to f**k you and then have you running off and never speaking to her again.

It's not about canceling dates or waiting 45 minutes to return texts. It's about having a life where you don't need her attention, and responding to her texts isn't a priority to you. Spinning plates will help with that. Or just getting yourself actively involved in other stuff.

But sex....sex usually helps most of all.
 

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
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First - calm down. You should go out and hit on some other girls just to get some other options.

With this girl, just take it easy. Ask her out again. If she goes then she is obviously still interested. At this point you would have had 4 dates, so you better escalate this one or it's going to be all over with.
 

Greggie W

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Smack her around a little...i'm kidding!!

You should try not to be sooo available. Turn your phone off, don't text, don't email...don't respond so fast.

Work on yourself...find other things to do in your life. Find balance!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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