"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

How do you differentiate a 'plate' and an 'option'?

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
The Craigslist thread got me thinking about what constitutes a viable option, or plate.

We talk a lot here about having a good quiver of viable options in terms of women, but I'm curious what some of you guys think a legit option, or plate for that matter, is in your life.

To me, there has to be at least a base of communication in the context of hooking up or taking things to an intimate level. As long as the potential for real action is there i think that would be an 'option', whether or not you have touched any sort of physical bases with her.

A plate, on the other hand, has to be a woman that you have sealed some sort of mutual intimacy with. A ONS would not count as a plate. An LTR would'nt count as a plate either, you have already made that choice. I would say in order for a woman to be considered one of your plates you should have at least established a mutual desire for intimacy on some level, preferably sexual, and closed the deal with her to some extent; whether that be a kiss, a rub, a fvck, or something of that nature.

I'm not soliciting for advice here, just a discussion. Thoughts?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Life is full of plates.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
How about married women you work with? Let's strike that from the list.






Right?

Wait why did I ask that. That's a no.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
Yeah, I could. You're supposed to say "what the fvck you thinking about reset!!"

edit---no.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

ketostix

Banned
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
3,871
Reaction score
55
Colossus said:
The Craigslist thread got me thinking about what constitutes a viable option, or plate.

We talk a lot here about having a good quiver of viable options in terms of women, but I'm curious what some of you guys think a legit option, or plate for that matter, is in your life.

To me, there has to be at least a base of communication in the context of hooking up or taking things to an intimate level. As long as the potential for real action is there i think that would be an 'option', whether or not you have touched any sort of physical bases with her.

A plate, on the other hand, has to be a woman that you have sealed some sort of mutual intimacy with. A ONS would not count as a plate. An LTR would'nt count as a plate either, you have already made that choice. I would say in order for a woman to be considered one of your plates you should have at least established a mutual desire for intimacy on some level, preferably sexual, and closed the deal with her to some extent; whether that be a kiss, a rub, a fvck, or something of that nature.

I'm not soliciting for advice here, just a discussion. Thoughts?
I think I agree with your definitions of what an option is and what a plate is. If everyone is defining a plate differently it doesn't have much meaning to say they're spinning plates. My understanding of a plate was you were balancing her in the FB role basically.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Danger said:
All IMHO,

Plates are the term you use when you have not yet reached the level of "inner game" that you need to live a successful, positive, solid life of a masculine male. Plates are what help you realize that you DO have options.

Option is the term for the self-assured, truly confident, masculine male who knows his own self-worth.

You only need to spin plates when you are not yet what you should be. God willing someday I will reach the point where I truly acknowledge my potential and know my self-worth. It would be nice not worrying about plates.
It sounds like you use plates way differently than most. I don't know of many in the forum who aren't what they "should be" who can successfully spin plates. Plus they don't typically spin for any increase of personal self worth.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Life is full of plates.
and saucers and bowls and teacups...
all different patterns and colors and sizes.....
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
penkitten said:
and saucers and bowls and teacups...
all different patterns and colors and sizes.....
She gets it... :up:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Danger said:
...And if I'm totally honest, I know I'm capable of much better than what I do. I consistently hook up with the HB6 and 7's. I want more.
So how exactly do you see plate spinning correlates with you connecting with a different type of woman, or does it?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Danger said:
Maybe I'm just hoping it will help me realize my self-worth enough where I don't get afc with the HB9.

It's working to a point. I still fear the loss of my high quality plates at times, but other times I feel so zen and just don't care what happens.

Plus the social proof is amazing, I never realized how useful that was until this site.

Maybe it comes down to me finally realizing my options after months and months of spinning multiple plates. Your question is key, I just don't know if I have the answer.
Yep, you're using it differently. If it's working for you, great. I'd be careful with social proof though; as it changes so will your self worth since it's tied to it. Think of it like playing the stock market and putting all of your money in just one stock.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
A plate is an option but an option is not a plate.
 
Top