"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How do you differentiate a 'plate' and an 'option'?

Colossus

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The Craigslist thread got me thinking about what constitutes a viable option, or plate.

We talk a lot here about having a good quiver of viable options in terms of women, but I'm curious what some of you guys think a legit option, or plate for that matter, is in your life.

To me, there has to be at least a base of communication in the context of hooking up or taking things to an intimate level. As long as the potential for real action is there i think that would be an 'option', whether or not you have touched any sort of physical bases with her.

A plate, on the other hand, has to be a woman that you have sealed some sort of mutual intimacy with. A ONS would not count as a plate. An LTR would'nt count as a plate either, you have already made that choice. I would say in order for a woman to be considered one of your plates you should have at least established a mutual desire for intimacy on some level, preferably sexual, and closed the deal with her to some extent; whether that be a kiss, a rub, a fvck, or something of that nature.

I'm not soliciting for advice here, just a discussion. Thoughts?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Life is full of plates.
 

reset

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How about married women you work with? Let's strike that from the list.






Right?

Wait why did I ask that. That's a no.
 

reset

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Yeah, I could. You're supposed to say "what the fvck you thinking about reset!!"

edit---no.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

ketostix

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Colossus said:
The Craigslist thread got me thinking about what constitutes a viable option, or plate.

We talk a lot here about having a good quiver of viable options in terms of women, but I'm curious what some of you guys think a legit option, or plate for that matter, is in your life.

To me, there has to be at least a base of communication in the context of hooking up or taking things to an intimate level. As long as the potential for real action is there i think that would be an 'option', whether or not you have touched any sort of physical bases with her.

A plate, on the other hand, has to be a woman that you have sealed some sort of mutual intimacy with. A ONS would not count as a plate. An LTR would'nt count as a plate either, you have already made that choice. I would say in order for a woman to be considered one of your plates you should have at least established a mutual desire for intimacy on some level, preferably sexual, and closed the deal with her to some extent; whether that be a kiss, a rub, a fvck, or something of that nature.

I'm not soliciting for advice here, just a discussion. Thoughts?
I think I agree with your definitions of what an option is and what a plate is. If everyone is defining a plate differently it doesn't have much meaning to say they're spinning plates. My understanding of a plate was you were balancing her in the FB role basically.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Danger said:
All IMHO,

Plates are the term you use when you have not yet reached the level of "inner game" that you need to live a successful, positive, solid life of a masculine male. Plates are what help you realize that you DO have options.

Option is the term for the self-assured, truly confident, masculine male who knows his own self-worth.

You only need to spin plates when you are not yet what you should be. God willing someday I will reach the point where I truly acknowledge my potential and know my self-worth. It would be nice not worrying about plates.
It sounds like you use plates way differently than most. I don't know of many in the forum who aren't what they "should be" who can successfully spin plates. Plus they don't typically spin for any increase of personal self worth.
 

penkitten

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Life is full of plates.
and saucers and bowls and teacups...
all different patterns and colors and sizes.....
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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penkitten said:
and saucers and bowls and teacups...
all different patterns and colors and sizes.....
She gets it... :up:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Danger said:
...And if I'm totally honest, I know I'm capable of much better than what I do. I consistently hook up with the HB6 and 7's. I want more.
So how exactly do you see plate spinning correlates with you connecting with a different type of woman, or does it?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Danger said:
Maybe I'm just hoping it will help me realize my self-worth enough where I don't get afc with the HB9.

It's working to a point. I still fear the loss of my high quality plates at times, but other times I feel so zen and just don't care what happens.

Plus the social proof is amazing, I never realized how useful that was until this site.

Maybe it comes down to me finally realizing my options after months and months of spinning multiple plates. Your question is key, I just don't know if I have the answer.
Yep, you're using it differently. If it's working for you, great. I'd be careful with social proof though; as it changes so will your self worth since it's tied to it. Think of it like playing the stock market and putting all of your money in just one stock.
 

guru1000

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A plate is an option but an option is not a plate.
 
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