"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How do you behave with your female friends?

C

CoolRunning

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I'm completely socially uncalibrated, and am just gaining female friends for the first time in my life. These aren't girls who LJBFd me, they're girls who I met in various activities and things, and we started hanging out with the same group - I have never sarged them and in fact some of them are in relationships. All in all cool people.

So, I'm wondering how you behave with female friends like this.

1) Do you flirt at all, tease eachother, comment on eachothers' looks, etc? Can you give examples of what would generally be "OK" and what would be "over the line"?

2) Any kino at all? Like say if I'm watching a movie with one of them, is it okay to lean on eachothers' shoulder? OK to put my arm around them while say walking? OK to grab hand on the dance floor and dance with them? OK to throw them down and tickle them? I'm assuming that more kino than with guy friends is acceptable, but not sexual type kino.

3) If one of them offers to wing you when you're all out together, do you take them up on it (and therefore let them see you as a sexual being)?

Any help appreciated.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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P

PeeGee

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I take it from your wording that you mean a female that either we have no attraction towards or can do much better (or females that we feel we can't get with, however beta this).

I treat them like any other women, but without the attempt to shag.
 
C

CoolRunning

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Yeah. I enjoy hanging out with them, some of them are attached already, and I don't want to weird it up by hitting on them because as a newly minted DJ, I know I can get women anywhere :D

Can you go into specifics about how you treat other women w/o the attempt to shag?
 
H

hadoken

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all about being natural

I have a ton of female friends...all with varying degrees of personalities, but the one key among them is that neither of us have a sexual interest in one another. This key attribute means that no matter how much physical contact we have it doesn't mean anything so the physical interaction is natural. Case in point my best friend is a chick, always gives me hugs, demand hugs, smacks my ass, i'll put my arm over her a bunch of times...i don't even think about it. With another one, i'll sometimes pat her belly and tease her since she used to be chubby. However if I did that with some of other female friends they would think something is weird (so would I) because we don't interact like that. When you get into a true friends zone with a girl, you don't even think about the physical interaction. It should just be natural and case specific.
 
C

Charm

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Having some female friends is fine, healthy and usually awesome when it comes to going shopping. Bring them with you :)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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L

Latinoman

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If I pick a female to be a FRIEND (as a true friend)...then I view her as a sister.

If I have an interest in a female...I would not make her my friend. I would make her an acquaintance. And I would flirt with that one. In fact, she will know that I have an interest.
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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If she's a woman she's fair game for my flirting... ;)
 
T

T Money

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I don't make anything a big deal when i'm around my friends who are girls. especially my girlfriend's girlfriends (that made sense). I don't want to come off like i'm flirting with them or else i'll hear about it later. Plus, it's good practice just to talk to them without the intentions of sex.
 
O

organizedconfusion

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the cool thing is, the casualness and comfortableness you have with these females friends will also carry over to when you DO meet someone you are attracted to..but without the nerves and anxiousness of how to act when you around them.You have nothing to worry about, you've been around girls before a million times and you are comfortable with them..

i treat my girls as friends just like guy friends..we just talk about different things and do different things,i also kinda like having the feeling of being like a brother or protector of them..
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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organizedconfusion said:
the cool thing is, the casualness and comfortableness you have with these females friends will also carry over to when you DO meet someone you are attracted to..but without the nerves and anxiousness of how to act when you around them.You have nothing to worry about, you've been around girls before a million times and you are comfortable with them....
Click to expand...
Bingo! :up:
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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J

johnmich

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my female mates (haha not a lot of em) i jus chat with em about stuff. Just how you act with any girl you meet but without the attempts at them. I suppose you could flirt a little unless in a realationship.

Also, like organised confusion said you get confortable around them. My best mates bird is pretty fine and i was a bit nervous but im now really comfortable around her. i suppose that helps with other birds
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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