How do you become the perfect A'sshole?

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

**Before I get flamed for this let me inform you that I know someDj concepts however I am trying to find the difference between the attractive loveable "a'sshole" rather than the hated one**


So how do you become that a'sshole that women love? What certain mannerism and traits does it have? I know you can't be nice all the time but you can't be mean too?

I've read somewhere on this forum about how this guy literally pi'sses off the HB then changes back down to soften up then repeating the whole cycle again.

My friend was having an argument over this girl he's never seen before and ends up screwing her!!!. (I did't stay too long because I thought the whole discussion with him and her were starting to get out of control and I thought bottles were going to be broken over someones head)

So somewhat you have to evoke some powerful emotions from her. Something that separates you from the rest of the chumps as well as being interesting and challenging. Also a great degree of confidence must come with it or else you will come off as an overcompensating insecure chump.

I am posting this because sometimes I get downright crass and rude but a lot of (certain) people seem to love when I'm like this. Of course it flows natural and not forced otherwise it looks like I'm overcompensating. eg I have a muslim housemate on my dorm and she absolutely loves me (I've LJBF'd her tho also she is chased by a LOT of guys). I say the most downright rude things around her and she seems to love this kind of behaviour.

Most of the girls on my dorm have commented saying,"You're an a'sshole, but a loveable one". So I must be doing a right thing but can't seem to reproduce this personal character trait of mine around other HBs. It's not forced cos I do love being one and it seems congruent to me. (I still have issues with thinking too much of what other people think of me but Im working on it )

So how do you become that perfect, loveable a'sshole? Could someone please elaborate this for me? Is it by being a prick once but following it by doing a couple of nice things? Is it by being borderline mean yet funny at the same time? How do you nurture it if it's a natural trait you have (lol some people have AFC as their trait haha).

It is hard for me to actually analyse and carefully dissect my own playful behaviour because I would have 'tunnel vision' and it comes out unnatural and makes it look try-hard.

 

[Bvbidd]

Is it by being borderline mean yet funny at the same time?

/\/\/\

 

[MrS]

******* means you're an *******.
There is no such thing as being a "good" , "nice" *******.
I know what you mean, but broaden your vocabulary.

Cool bad boy would be moe to waht you're looking for.

 

[OrioleMagic]

Good topic

I have the mean, arrogant a**hole down, I trying to be more of the funny, popular a**hole, also. I think a lot of it has to do with whether you are funny or not. Any real DJ want to give an opinion?

 

[DarkLight]

This isn't so much me, or my flavor... but then again maybe the distance will yield some clarity of perspective here.

I would find the difference being, the quality behind the 'a$$hole's' behaivor.

Some dudes I know, are just *******s. Their heart never emerges behind their behaivor, until quite extreme scenarios... and then most people rarely get to see those moments (unless they're already a part of the 'a$$hole's' life, lol).

So, in short. Be a positive a$$hole. Let your behaivor be what it is, but underneath it... have an open heart.
The paradox of those two opposing energies/directions, will create the balance, that yields the harmonious result your looking for.

I realized that most every behaivor takes on a new attractive light, when your heart is open, and behind it.

Take for example small children. Even their anger has a refreshing quality to it. Its so real. They're hearts are open, and they're being true to it.

In my vision, thats the tipping point of whether an a$$hole is just an a$$hole, or a cool one.
HEART!

So man up a$$holes, and open that chakra! lol

 

[organizedconfusion]

you guys can't possibly be serious about this, right??? :crackup:

 

[DonJuanForever]

Okay, listen.....
An ******* and a bad boy/thug/tough guy are two different things.
An ******* is a guy acting very childish and immature and its obvious to everybody that the guy is very childish. No ones likes him, no one takes him seriously, and no one really wants to be around the guy.

A bad boy is not ness. an *******. A bad boy is a guy who either grew up or is exposed to now a different portion of life where being a bad boy/tough guy is apart of survivial. He carrys the bad boy look because if he doesn't, he would probably not make it in his "hood" or "town" or "area."

Do you get it? Women want this from men they are attracted to:
Humor, protection, provider. A lover, a friend, a body guard, a resource. Today, women can provide their own resources. Humorous guys makes great hang-out buddies, so there's the friend part. Bad boy/tough guys (because they have the experience) make good protecters. Combine them both and be a 9 or 10 in both areas, since this is a self improvement site.
Join a fighting club or some type fo martial art where you are required to be tough because you have to spare with guys that will kick your azz if you don't toughen up.
Study comedy, and learn how to be witty and not silly. Tell funny and witty jokes, don't act stupid.

There you go.

 

[Luscious]

If you are going to rock the 'prick' angle on her, sarcasm is your best friend. Lay it on but always with a smile and some kino. Well-timed sarcasm and wordplay can work wonders.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

There was one thing I was looking at while reading other articles...its the concept of RESPECT.

If you have respect going for you then you can pretty much get away with anything. If NOT then theres not a lot of sh*t you can do.

When I talked about a'ssholes I dont mean the anti-social, delinquent, hated type. Im talking about the type where he is never/rarely nice to girls regardless of looks, dont give a f*ck about anything, always a sarcastic/smarta'ss, makes fun of everything (esp fake ppl, drama queens, rich ppl etc). So yea I hope you guys understand where Im going at.

HB: I hate him because he is an a'sshole but he's got something that grabs my attention.

But you have to be congruent with it.If the person is not congruent with it then he will come off as a wanabe tryhard or insecure.

 

[Latinoman]

You don't have to be an "aszhole". You simply have to command respect. Remember, our view of an aszhole might be completely different to that of a woman. For instance, if you tell a woman "Honey, you better respect me." She will probably think you are an azzhole for demanding that respect.

Add a few things with that (charisma, ****iness, confidence, humor), and you probably have the answer to your question.

Somebody mentions the "Humor, protection, provider. A lover, a friend, a body guard, a resource" thing that many adult women (trying to be more specific here) look for. I agree with that. I'm not too sure you can learn how to be a "bad boy", because that's something a person gets from the environment he was brought up from. But you can still learn how to be a protector.

Now, if you are in high school or college, then the approach might be different.

 

[organizedconfusion]

There was one thing I was looking at while reading other articles...its the concept of RESPECT.

If you have respect going for you then you can pretty much get away with anything. If NOT then theres not a lot of sh*t you can do.

When I talked about a'ssholes I dont mean the anti-social, delinquent, hated type. Im talking about the type where he is never/rarely nice to girls regardless of looks, dont give a f*ck about anything, always a sarcastic/smarta'ss, makes fun of everything (esp fake ppl, drama queens, rich ppl etc). So yea I hope you guys understand where Im going at.

HB: I hate him because he is an a'sshole but he's got something that grabs my attention.

But you have to be congruent with it.If the person is not congruent with it then he will come off as a wanabe tryhard or insecure.

so if this is obviously NOT you then why would you want to emulate this kind of behavior? i understand it has it's appeal to woman, but it's certainly NOT an answer to all and it's certainly NOT the only way to success... it's funny how many 'bad boys' were never really 'bad boys' to begin with...you know how people become like that naturally? much like the tough guy, it was out of nessessity..he had to become that way, for whatever reason and it was his way of coping with issues he had to deal with and it certainly most likley has nothing to do with woman or dating. Personally, i am this type naturally and i had to learn how to overcome peoples oppositons in a way that didn't make me look like an idiot..and i naturally gravitated towards humor to defuse tense situations.And the not caring part? it's an act mostly, of course i care what people think just like everyone else- but to an extremly less of an extent and it dosen't linger as long as it used to..how do people become a certain way..you have to question that part of it and understand where they are coming from- only then til you see them as different and unique and only then can you truly respect them.It's usually an experiance in life that made them turn that way for whatever reason..and not caring about peoples opinions and standing on your own two feet? it usually comes from having to deal with negativity from people..or the inability shall i say.

and the delingquent,hated,insecure,anti-social type???? THOSE are the REAL BAD BOYs you have to worry about...because THOSE guys REALLY don't care..and it's genuine..they'll stab you in the gut if you're not carefull.They're nothing but tyrant..and i can be just as nasty...

 

[Latinoman]

"and the delingquent,hated,insecure,anti-social type???? THOSE are the REAL BAD BOYs you have to worry about...because THOSE guys REALLY don't care..and it's genuine..they'll stab you in the gut if you're not carefull.They're nothing but tyrant..and i can be just as nasty..."

Those are not bad boys. Those are socio-paths. A bad boy is not afraid of a person like that. A bad boy respects the law and understand the right path...but has an air of danger about him. The delinquent, hated, insecure type can sense who is that bad boy and if they (anti-social type) are smart...they don't mess with the bad boy.

 

[organizedconfusion]

"and the delingquent,hated,insecure,anti-social type???? THOSE are the REAL BAD BOYs you have to worry about...because THOSE guys REALLY don't care..and it's genuine..they'll stab you in the gut if you're not carefull.They're nothing but tyrant..and i can be just as nasty..."

Those are not bad boys. Those are socio-paths. A bad boy is not afraid of a person like that. A bad boy respects the law and understand the right path...but has an air of danger about him. The delinquent, hated, insecure type can sense who is that bad boy and if they (anti-social type) are smart...they don't mess with the bad boy.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


respects the law?? understands the right path??? with all due respect..
thats got to be the stupidest thing i have ever heard..the real real real 'bad boys'??? i highly doubt they give a rats azz about 'bad boy etticate' and will most likely kill you :crazy: i think too many people are seriously disillusioned and totally romanticized and idealised this certain image...

 

[Latinoman]

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


respects the law?? understands the right path??? with all due respect..
thats got to be the stupidest thing i have ever heard..the real real real 'bad boys'??? i highly doubt they give a rats azz about 'bad boy etticate' and will most likely kill you :crazy: i think too many people are seriously disillusioned and totally romanticized and idealised this certain image...

Laugh all you want. Of one thing I'm certain: you are clueless.

How many people have you killed or sent to the hospital? How many of your inner cycle have being killed or sent to the hospital or jail?

What I personally find laughable is that you have no clue about life in the barrios or streets. The "highly doubt" and "most likely" terminology you used are clear indication that you have doubts in your statements.

I don't. I have zero doubts. That's why I'm posting on this issue.

I came from the streets, and quite honestly, I have no issues when it comes to hurting somebody or taking somebody's life. I am amoral. I just choose to respect the law and understand the right path. I can go to any dangerous place (Hell Kitchen, Miami, Puerto Rico, Colombia, D.C., etc.) and the people there nod at me or even shake my hand...without knowing who the heck I am. Why? Because people can tell. Or maybe, because I'm a "cool kat". Whichever the reason, I don't care.

My ex-wife (a white, red head, from the middle class U.S.) used to go to nightclubs with me that no other white person would visit. But she went because she felt save. My current girlfriend...also feels save around me. And she should.

That's what makes a man a "bad boy". His ability to go to the extreme IF necessary. His ability to command respect from those punks and criminals and gang bangers...without uttering a word. Once you manage to do those things, then and ONLY then, you can call yourself a "bad boy".

Braking the law, viciously taking somebody's life, raping...that's not a "bad boy" as you claim. They ALREADY have a name and that name is "criminal" or "punk" or "gang bangers" or "socio-path" or "rapist".

Why call a criminal or convict or rapist a "bad boy"? They already have a name: criminal or convict or rapist or assassin.

The terminology "bad boy" was invented to separate the CRIMINALS from those that can obey the law while at the same time having the capability to go to the extreme...if necessary (and as importantly, command respect). Those same bad boys are the ones that do whatever they want in a relationship.

 

[organizedconfusion]

know your enemies,because it'll be easier of displace them..the real real real bad boys? they'll dispose of you without saying a word and without conscience..how do i know? i personaly know many people just like that,some in prison- some out and about..some just like me, and some that just don't care... this mindset,this mentality is something that is developed through nessessity and experiance..usually poor experiances ,with very very bad outcomes.NOT for gaming chicks and NOT from an online seduction site...everyone wants to be bad but dosen't want to do bad things.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

So you're saying...

CRIMINALS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do evil/negative/deathwish things

BAD BOYS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do good/positive/self-gain things

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

This is a great discussion on the BAD BOY concept BUT what Iam trying to get is:

What traits of the a'sshole/bad boy/watever are there that has potential sexual attraction on females?

Simple character traits that you can culminate and integrate to your persona without having to become a fully fledge gangsta, evil mutha just to prove something.

Lol I am startin to get confused here

Maybe we should start a proper BAD BOY thread and gather peoples views because this is very interesting topic. If I have time ill try start a thread on respect and bad boys.

 

[organizedconfusion]

So you're saying...

CRIMINALS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do evil/negative/deathwish things

BAD BOYS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do good/positive/self-gain things

CRIMINALS are all TYRANTS- and are 'real' bad boys in terms of really just good at being bad :trouble: and sincerly NOT giving a fvck..

BAD BOYS like to bend the rules just a 'weeeeeee bit' because they can and enjoy doing so :rockon: do what you want,stand out from the crowd and don't be afraid to speak your mind or be who you are..nuff said :rock:

-sarge on!

 

[organizedconfusion]

What traits of the a'sshole/bad boy/watever are there that has potential sexual attraction on females?

Simple character traits that you can culminate and integrate to your persona without having to become a fully fledge gangsta, evil mutha just to prove something.

QUOTE]

all the traits that make an awesome DJ/PUA..but with that extra edge to them..some are charmers,some are seducers, some are entertainers..and some happen to be..bad boys..discover your niche and it'll all fall into place

 

[Latinoman]

So you're saying...

CRIMINALS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do evil/negative/deathwish things

BAD BOYS have the capability to go to the extreme but having the capacity to do good/positive/self-gain things

There a difference between a "bad boy" and an "evil man" (criminal). Remember, the term "bad boy" was invented to romantisize TOUGH guys...not evil guys.

It is not a term that was invented by any of us. It was a term invented for the Dean and Marlo Brando and some rock & roll stars. It originally was reserved for the "man of freedom".

"bad boys" = tough guy
"evil man" = criminal (some of which are also tough guys)

A tough guy knows when to walk away in a relationship too. He focus on himself. And he is not afraid of anyone (although, he is not a fool either). He is capable of doing whatever it takes to protect those he loves...even if it comes to take somebody's life (an extreme).

An evil man has zero regard for life.