How do you be higher value that the girl?

[wonderer]

For a specific example, she has a better social circle than me, more powerful/famous friends, more followers on instagram, is she not going to perceive me as lower value than her? How do I show her I am higher value and worth chasing.

 

[mozarto.o]

You need to indirectly communicate her that you are of higher value just because you're you, and all those things that she might perceive as proof of her higher value don't matter to you, just because you know you're of higher value.

 

[GioWolf]

Is having more Instagram followers an indication of value?? What a sad world we live in.

 

[Tilex]

Be a high value man, not a high value woman.
Your masculine vibe and masculine traits will determine how high your value is.

Worrying about having famous friends, more instagram followers, or a better social circle is highly feminine.

Having a better social circle is completely irrelevant btw.
You shouldn't be competing with another female's social circle. That's a very terrible strategy.

 

[wonderer]

Is it not all social proof? Being high status? Can you give examples of how to be a high value man / show value without these things?

 

[Barrister]

Is it not all social proof? Being high status? Can you give examples of how to be a high value man / show value without these things?

Start with a IDGAF attitude when it comes to such superficial things like perceived popularity of social circles. Instagram might be the biggest validation tool chicks use -- just delete the silly thing if nothing else.

Second, develop confidence in yourself. Do this by having a true purpose in life (whether that is your job or otherwise) and stay busy. Get in the gym and get in great shape. Have things to do and you won't care about these things.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Is it not all social proof? Being high status? Can you give examples of how to be a high value man / show value without these things?

Social media is pretty fake. I have followers that I've never talked to and I don't identify with the number of followers I have. If you cater to the likes you receive you are catering to the crowd, you're not being yourself. It's a balance but there's really no problem with completely avoiding all social media, it has no real value unless you get millions of followers and become sponsored. You can occasionally post vacation shots and let people's imagination run wild if you want to use it, but in general it should be fun, not some metric you use to validate yourself. I'm pretty turned off if a girl thinks she's better than me because of her social media following.

So many times I've been in a beautiful location but didn't have signal or I'll be lining up a picture then realize that it's robbing me of the present moment. It's a real hassle to take pictures and share it despite the 'convenience' of an app on my phone. In those moments the last thing I want to be doing is adjusting the contrast on my phone camera and scrutinizing the shot. I'd rather hire a photographer occasionally, post some good shots, then go on living my life hassle free. Honestly some girls that likes you will help you network and work the social media for both of you, being your personal little photographer.

Forget whether she perceives you as lower value. In your life, to you, you are god. You manifest things that you want and get rid of things you don't. If you choose to go after a woman that does not value you it shows that you must not value yourself. You must believe that working on yourself will lead to loving yourself which will lead to loving others and having others love you. Trust in the process and don't improve because you want to be loved, improve because you love to improve.

 

[Glassguy]

Be a high value man, not a high value woman.
Your masculine vibe and masculine traits will determine how high your value is.

Worrying about having famous friends, more instagram followers, or a better social circle is highly feminine.

Having a better social circle is completely irrelevant btw.
You shouldn't be competing with another female's social circle. That's a very terrible strategy.

I agree with your first part but totally disagree with the last part.

I agree that chasing validation through IG followers, etc., is 100% feminine. It is weak. It reeks of desperation.

However- a stonger social circle has many benefits. Friendships, more options for dating, business and personal opportunities, etc.

A strong social circle is like money. Everyone wants as much as they can get.

Now this is where it gets tricky.......someone with money that flaunts it is WEAK. Someone with a strong social circle that flaunts it is WEAK. They are merely using it as a tool to conceal something inside of them that is lacking....aka a WEAK frame.

Its all in the intent. Anyone would be a happier person with a stronger social circle and more money as long as their intent was on par.

Try hards use those things to attempt to impress women and it blows up in their face.

Better physique, more money, stronger social circle, fame, education.....all beneficial things in life and all things that will help YOU be a more productive and better person and in turn have a happier life if used properly. The byproduct is that it will also attract women.

Self improvement on the above things should be for the betterment of yourself. If you are doing those things just for women in general you will surely be let down.

 

[Barrister]

I agree with your first part but totally disagree with the last part.

I agree that chasing validation through IG followers, etc., is 100% feminine. It is weak. It reeks of desperation.

However- a stonger social circle has many benefits. Friendships, more options for dating, business and personal opportunities, etc.

A strong social circle is like money. Everyone wants as much as they can get.

Now this is where it gets tricky.......someone with money that flaunts it is WEAK. Someone with a strong social circle that flaunts it is WEAK. They are merely using it as a tool to conceal something inside of them that is lacking....aka a WEAK frame.

Its all in the intent. Anyone would be a happier person with a stronger social circle and more money as long as their intent was on par.

Try hards use those things to attempt to impress women and it blows up in their face.

Better physique, more money, stronger social circle, fame, education.....all beneficial things in life and all things that will help YOU be a more productive and better person and in turn have a happier life if used properly. The byproduct is that it will also attract women.

Self improvement on the above things should be for the betterment of yourself. If you are doing those things just for women in general you will surely be let down.

I agree with all of this - although I think the issue was that OP was concerned that his own social circle was inferior vis a vis to the chick's social circle. Having a good social circle has a lot of great benefits - no question. Comparing your own social circle to the chick's social circle is pointless and counter-productive and ultimately has no benefit since whose is "better" is completely subjective.

 

[derby1]

Is having more Instagram followers an indication of value?? What a sad world we live in.

I dated a girl who's whole life was defined by her 5,000 followers

the girl constantly looked like she had just lost her puppy.

ironically in "real life" no one spoke to her in the street. however many people would acknowledge me when we were out.

my point being my social value was leaps and bounds above hers, but if you went off online i was the nobody

 

[Dash Riprock]

This is actually a good question by OP. I sense he's still green and probably quite young. My advice would vary a bit to the 18 year old guy vs a 30 year old man, but the basics are:

1- Have your own life. Hobbies, friends, interests, maybe a side business. Don't kill her with the details but talking about your interests shows her you have passion for what you do and aren't satisfied with the status quo. You like to keep yourself busy because you're curious and have friends because people like you.
2- Have big (but realistic) goals. Starting your own company or side-hustle, finishing a marathon, getting a black belt, purchasing property or investing all show drive, smarts, and gumption. Women LOVE motivated, goal-oriented guys.
3- Get really good at something and casually show off in her presence. I learned this one from The Tao of Steve (I think he said, "Be excellent in her presence") and agree that it works. It gives you separation vs other men.
4- DO NOT pedestalize her. This might be #1. She s*hits every day too and has BO if she doesn't shower. She's only one woman, not the be all end all. Enjoy your time with her, but DON'T set aside your life for her.
5- Space out communication and dates. DO NOT over communicate, send too many texts, or want to be with her all the time. You're a busy guy, remember? As David Deangelo used to preach, "Give her the gift of missing you."
6- Plan really fun and creative dates. 98% of all men are boring as f*uck. Seriously. They can't communicate either unless it's on their smartphone keyboard. Sad, but true. Surprise her with date ideas and don't tell her exactly what you'll be doing. Keep the conversation flowing by asking open-ended questions about fun and relevant--but positive--topics.
7- Don't get mad or jealous if you're out and she's talking to other guys unless it's blatant and overt disrespect. If it is, coolly and calmly say something, as James Bond might. Otherwise, be "the duck": on the pond he's gliding as smooth as glass but underneath he's paddling like hell.

If you can pull these off, she'll fall in love with you and you'll be a 1% Man.

Good luck.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with all of this - although I think the issue was that OP was concerned that his own social circle was inferior vis a vis to the chick's social circle. Having a good social circle has a lot of great benefits - no question. Comparing your own social circle to the chick's social circle is pointless and counter-productive and ultimately has no benefit since whose is "better" is completely subjective.

Agreed

 

[lamath]

For a specific example, she has a better social circle than me, more powerful/famous friends, more followers on instagram, is she not going to perceive me as lower value than her? How do I show her I am higher value and worth chasing.

Funny how things like this can just be in our head.

If you believe you are higher value and have high standard she will believe it too.
There is a reason why narcissistic trait are attractive to most women.

 

[dude99]

For a specific example, she has a better social circle than me, more powerful/famous friends, more followers on instagram, is she not going to perceive me as lower value than her? How do I show her I am higher value and worth chasing.

By treating her no differently than any other normal girl.

Her follower on IG. Don't impress you. In fact don't become one. Don't feed the social media AW attitude.
Her status. Doesn't impress you.
Her friends. Don't impress you.
She is just an ordinary girl.
You have confidence in yourself. You treat her the same as any other normal girl. You treat the 9.5's and the 6.5' all the same.

That is how.