Confidence is a big part of it. And ya i understand you are referring to friends too. The problem is it seems you are looking for their respect,.... you don't need it. If you have purpose, know what you want, and keep congruent with that you just don't care when someone with another purpose for themselves or a plan for you disagrees. Believe in yourself
As I said
1. KNOW what you want - meaning you have PURPOSE and DIRECTION. When you go out later tonight, you know EXACTLY what you want to do because you know what you want out of life. Get in the habit of thinking for yourself and eventually its you.
Me right now, I am staying up finishing a business plan that I need to finish before I meet with score.org monday. I know exactly what I want. A friend called me an hour ago for me to come out. There was no contest here. Going out tonight wasn't what I needed to do tonight in my purposes or goals in life. ..
If he tries to force me to stop what im doing we obviousely shouldn't be friends and I'm comfortable with that situation. Because I am self-reliant and not dependent on others to feel whole.
If I feel like I need to really kick back and meet girls. I go out on the town. I don't cave to my friends demands of a crapfest night. I know what I want. And I also LISTEN to my friends because sometimes they can supply me with better information than i might have to accomplish that goal.
Know yourself, live YOUR life. Underneath the lack of thought there are things YOU want. So take the clutter off those ambitions and desires and go for them. ACTION not REACTION. Alpha is ACTION, Beta is REACTION.
2. Be Congruent with what you want
If you know what you want, stick with it. Otherwise, other people are deciding what you want for you. As easy as it is to go with the flow, you have already pulled your head out of the sand. So because of this, if you feel not in control you will be miserable. And who wants to live life for someone elses vision. Thoreau said, "Most men live quiet lives of desperation" and its so true.
*This is not to say to be stubborn for the purpose of being stubborn. OR not being open to others suggestions. Because sometimes others suggestions are a better way of getting what you want.
Another thing to take notice on is if You want to talk to girls. You better go and talk to girls. Or your mind will look to be a follower once more. You will be dependent on that "ballsy friend of yours" who can actually go and talk to girls. And that my friend sucks! I've seen it a zillion times, one guy got balls the others just follow to get the handmedowns of the situation.
That goes for business, the classroom, discussions, just about anything else in life. People follow the person who can do what they can't or has what they want.
Leaders make tons of mistakes believe it or not. That's how they become leaders, they put themselves out there and don't live under the wing of someone making decisions for them. MOST IMPORTANTLY, they learn from the mistakes. Mistakes are the only way you are going to learn and break your mold. Think about the group leader in your friends. Although, you have probably blocked it out. He has probably made mistakes on crappy plans, or getting laughed at or rejected by girls many of times. The fact is he's probably approached so many girls that the rejections are easily forgetable. And he gets way less rejections or negativity from people because he's learned through the mistakes already. A virtuous cycle.
All the followers are so caught up what others think that they could never risk any of their friends seeing them fail. But that'll keep you in the follower loop.
So anyways hope that made sense.
Originally posted by Tempest
Thanks.
Yeah, I didn't exactly mean dominant with EVERYONE. I meant just how to be dominant with not just women, guys as well.
From what Jvesti said, so basically just develop your confidence? I'm not doing it for women, it has nothing to do with that really. I'd just like to avoid getting picked on and wonder why I'm the one out of the group which mainly has this directed to. I'm not the only one out of my group, actually... there are other weak figures in the group that get picked on just because they're idiots.
I'm not sure why body language is so important, though. Could you elaborate further?