How do you approach women without chasing them?

[FlexpertHamilton]

Now that the warm weather is returning and people are becoming (slightly) more lax about covid horse****, my city actually has a fair bit of young women to approach outdoors.

I'm pretty rusty with approaching, haven't really done it for about a year and a half, and in that time I've had a fundamental principal drilled into my head: do not chase women. This means many things, but the bigest takeaway is framing yourself as the prize and not vice versa.

How do you conceptualize approaching a woman in the street that isn't chasing and validation-seeking while also not being boring and passive?

The only advice I've heard is to be a mixture of tender and aggressive but I think there is more nuance than just that.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

there is a demeanor you can have which combines them being flattered that you approached, yet suspicious that you seem too comfortable and probably approach a lot of women (with great success).

I get that it's mostly a mindset but it's hard for me to grasp the very idea of approaching them without seeming like you're chasing, no matter what you say or do.

Negging is corny and obvious validation-seeking. But so are over-the-top compliments. The best thing I've come up with is to give a mixed compliment or vague compliment ("that's a bold colored dress").

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

How do you conceptualize approaching a woman in the street that isn't chasing and validation-seeking while also not being boring and passive?

Don't approach for any specific outcome. Numbers, etc.

Approach because it's fun and cheap/free. Like a hobby.

Don't try to impress them with game or clothes. Only enjoy a friendly conversation.

If you're both feeling it, things will take care of themselves.

 

[cola]

After you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ll be able to smile and say hi, and get the vibe from her response if she’s interested.
I can’t explain it, it’s like a sixth sense you develop.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Flex, I have to start with a style question.

How do you normally dress when you go out and talk w/ girls during the day?

Do you wear cologne? If so, what kind?

Do you wear a nice watch?

Nice shoes?

I almost always dress sharp even if I'm just running errands. Nothing too expensive or flashy though (mainly because I'm a frugal SOB). I just make sure it fits perfectly and is of good material/construction.

During the day typically something like a nice henley or short sleeve button down with navy blue chinos. If I'm at a club or a nicer bar I'll usually wear a jcrew long sleeve button down. Pretty much always wearing my brown wingtip boots day or night.

I don't believe in cologne I believe in natural body odor/pheromones. I do use certain old spice deodorants which are apparently strong enough to get many women telling me I smell nice anyway. I don't wear a watch but I'll probably get one at some point. Lastly I never wear shorts or sneakers unless I'm at the gym. I also trim my facial hair 1-2x a week and get a lot of compliments on that as well as my hair.

After you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ll be able to smile and say hi, and get the vibe from her response if she’s interested.
I can’t explain it, it’s like a sixth sense you develop.

I often get this vibe before I approach them, but it seems harder to tell the vibe when the interaction starts from a neutral place (such as her not seeing you beforehand).

I wouldn't have guessed a simple hi can be enough to gauge interest but I feel you on the sixth sense thing.

 

[Dash Riprock]

It's a very simple concept:

Chasing is continuing to reach out and engage with women who are not interested in you; flaky, unresponsive, low excitement when you reach out.

Pursuing is reading her IOI's/Interest Level and continuing to advance; the relationship, the interaction, whatever. Lead her! The key here is you can read her interest level and it's high enough that she's worth pursuing. Kind of like @cola said, you just get to know what to look for. Remember, 93% of all communication is non-verbal (Body language=55%, Emotion=38%, Actual words we use=7%).

Approaching a women at a party or on the street is hardly chasing, unless she's obviously not interested and you keep at.

Good luck.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's a very simple concept:

Chasing is continuing to reach out and engage with women who are not interested in you; flaky, unresponsive, low excitement when you reach out.

Pursuing is reading her IOI's/Interest Level and continuing to advance; the relationship, the interaction, whatever. Lead her! The key here is you can read her interest level and it's high enough that she's worth pursuing. Kind of like @cola said, you just get to know what to look for. Remember, 93% of all communication is non-verbal (Body language=55%, Emotion=38%, Actual words we use=7%).

Approaching a women at a party or on the street is hardly chasing, unless she's obviously not interested and you keep at.

Good luck.

Makes sense.

Oh by the way, the "93% of all communication is non-verbal" is actually a very old pop-psychology notion that has been misinterpreted to death. What everyone has been getting wrong this whole time is that 93% of emotion is communicated nonverbally. What you say does in fact matter quite a lot for interaction and discourse and it should be apparent when you examine it for a minute.

I first learned about this misconception in a psychology class I took in college, but I found an article that talks about it more.

Ubiquity: The 7% rule

In 1971, Albert Mehrabian published a book Silent Messages, in which he discussed his research on non-verbal communication. He concluded that prospects based their assessments of credibility on factors other than the words the salesperson spoke---the prospects studied assigned 55 percent of...

ubiquity.acm.org

 

[Georgepithyou]

Don't approach for any specific outcome. Numbers, etc.

Approach because it's fun and cheap/free. Like a hobby.

Don't try to impress them with game or clothes. Only enjoy a friendly conversation.

If you're both feeling it, things will take care of themselves.

Also don't go out just to approach, go out and dosome activity like buying groceries. If you happen to see a pretty woman at the supermarket, you approach her simple as that.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Also don't go out just to approach, go out and dosome activity like buying groceries. If you happen to see a pretty woman at the supermarket, you approach her simple as that.

Yeaah, I found when I did day game before just for the sake of approaching, it was pretty awful. Much better if it's an incidental thing that happens when you're already out and about especially with a sense of purpose.

 

[Paper Crane]

Honestly man join Tinder, put up some nice pics, swipe right maybe 5-10 minutes a day and maybe boost your profile on a weekend or two and you'll be surprised at what you can find. Got 5 lays in on Tinder so far and it's been a bit over a month maybe a month and a half on the app. I've damn near been scoring a chick a week, minus one week where I smashed 2 diff chicks.

Of course, I don't know what your town is like but I live in a big city

Its so much easier to gauge if a chick is DTF on apps like Tinder. Approach is alot of work, unless you're in a place where everyones already drunk.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Honestly man join Tinder, put up some nice pics, swipe right maybe 5-10 minutes a day and maybe boost your profile on a weekend or two and you'll be surprised at what you can find. Got 5 lays in on Tinder so far and it's been a bit over a month maybe a month and a half on the app. I've damn near been scoring a chick a week, minus one week where I smashed 2 diff chicks.

Of course, I don't know what your town is like but I live in a big city

Its so much easier to gauge if a chick is DTF on apps like Tinder. Approach is alot of work, unless you're in a place where everyones already drunk.

I use hinge and it works for getting laid but not there are very few high quality women on it.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Now that the warm weather is returning and people are becoming (slightly) more lax about covid horse****, my city actually has a fair bit of young women to approach outdoors.

I'm pretty rusty with approaching, haven't really done it for about a year and a half, and in that time I've had a fundamental principal drilled into my head: do not chase women. This means many things, but the bigest takeaway is framing yourself as the prize and not vice versa.

How do you conceptualize approaching a woman in the street that isn't chasing and validation-seeking while also not being boring and passive?

The only advice I've heard is to be a mixture of tender and aggressive but I think there is more nuance than just that.

It's not suddenly time to put on your fake ****ing mustache and wig. It's game time day or night. Shoot your shot. You don't get better at anything being the bench warmer.

There's far too much trash content online about game from guys who don't approach. don't pull and haven't seen new vjj in eons but are pedaling some trash program.

Infield ftw.

Need am answer ? approach. the answer is in set. it's not from some moron selling you a program that has no proof nor receipts. has never competed in THIS smp yet has a opinion on Game. no **** the results is rubbish.

You are rusty. Get beyond rusty. Approach everyday. Handful of approaches get past AA. Post back after. You want absurd volume of experience. Stack from here on.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's not suddenly time to put on your fake ****ing mustache and wig. It's game time day or night. Shoot your shot. You don't get better at anything being the bench warmer.

There's far too much trash content online about game from guys who don't approach. don't pull and haven't seen new vjj in eons but are pedaling some trash program.

Infield ftw.

Need am answer ? approach. the answer is in set. it's not from some moron selling you a program that has no proof nor receipts. has never competed in THIS smp yet has a opinion on Game. no **** the results is rubbish.

You are rusty. Get beyond rusty. Approach everyday. Handful of approaches get past AA. Post back after. You want absurd volume of experience. Stack from here on.

Are you a PUA time traveller from 2008?