"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How do some people go from friends-->dating?

Exhumed

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I'm wondering how some people become good friends with a girl, and start hooking up and whatnot months later...I've seen people say that it's simply because their relationship never reached past a certain point, both were flirting the whole time, etc. but it sounds like an incomplete answer...how can an average (not super alpha, not AFC) guy become friends with a girl and just kind of stumble into a relationship by accident? Surely every time this happens there's not a guy saying "Okay, I'm going to take this step by step, six months from now I should be in her pants!" or some sort of PUA-esque transformation going on.

I'm not trying to make this sort of thing happen, there's no specific girl in mind, I'm just kind of wondering what your take is on it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ridingthelightning

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If there is attraction at all then you can move out of friend zone. I don't care what the major consensus is on this board is, it can be done and I've done it multiple times.
I think the attraction has to be there, and you can build attraction much in the same way you build it with some chick you've never met.
I've been told by my female friends that I'm attractive. That automatically gives me leverage.
If a female finds you attractive then you can move into a nonfriend direction, but! you might lose a friend by doing so. If she finds you attractive great, but if a girl has put you in a friendzone you will have to break down the walls of that all-the-while building the nonfriend comfortable park bench.
 

starplayer

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The way i see it there is no "Friend Zone" as girls make there out to be, ie. "we're such good friends and i don't want to ruin our friendship". The friend zone is just an excuse; somewhere she puts guys she's not sexually attracted to but would not like to completely cut out of her life (for reasons such as attention, gifts, emotional support, etc.) or just to let the guy down easy.

If a girl is attracted to one of her guy "friends", 9 times out of 10 it's the guy who was the upper hand in the friendship. He's usually a player type who flirts with loads of girls and might have a girlfriend - he is NOT a loser AFC nice guy.

Like ridingthelightning said, there has to be attraction. I've had it before with female friends and there was a ton of sexual tension between us. If a girl starts getting sexual feelings for a guy friend, she won't give a sh!t about ruining the friendship - she'll just wanna ride his c0ck all night long.
 

moneyisking

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starplayer said:
The way i see it there is no "Friend Zone" as girls make there out to be, ie. "we're such good friends and i don't want to ruin our friendship". The friend zone is just an excuse; somewhere she puts guys she's not sexually attracted to but would not like to completely cut out of her life (for reasons such as attention, gifts, emotional support, etc.) or just to let the guy down easy.

If a girl is attracted to one of her guy "friends", 9 times out of 10 it's the guy who was the upper hand in the friendship. He's usually a player type who flirts with loads of girls and might have a girlfriend - he is NOT a loser AFC nice guy.

Like ridingthelightning said, there has to be attraction. I've had it before with female friends and there was a ton of sexual tension between us. If a girl starts getting sexual feelings for a guy friend, she won't give a sh!t about ruining the friendship - she'll just wanna ride his c0ck all night long.

bro that is what i am saying. thank you. i hate when girls say friendship bull sh*t. that is metaphorically saying "i don't want to offer my body for you to fvck, but i still like to boost MY ego and look like i have a lot of friends around. I am drama b*tch so i need many ppl around me. sorry you can't do me, but i like gift and attention you're giving me. bye"

thats what bitc*es do, and i hate it. i see NO girl as my friend. Absolutely none, and that's b/c if i can't get what i want out of her, why the fvck should i invest MY time, My energy, and give My attention to her when i can't even tab that azz. good point
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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thecurtainfalls

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moneyisking said:
thats what bitc*es do, and i hate it. i see NO girl as my friend. Absolutely none, and that's b/c if i can't get what i want out of her, why the fvck should i invest MY time, My energy, and give My attention to her when i can't even tab that azz. good point
Hmmm... good luck with that approach to life :whistle:
 

moneyisking

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thecurtainfalls said:
Hmmm... good luck with that approach to life :whistle:
don't get me wrong. i talk to a lot of girls and have fun with them.

i just don't waste my time and energy on them unless i know they are down

sexually. just sit and think about it. why would YOU decide to give away all

yours when she doesn't want to give you anything? isn't that unfair? that is

what i believe.
 

Exhumed

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well if you don't WANT sex out of her....or if you don't want it badly....and you enjoy her personality...why not be friends? Maybe some girls don't want to "look like they have lots of friends around" but actually want to have lots of friends? Maybe not every girl approaches a friendship with a guy wanting an ego boost and an emotional tampon and free gifts?

I like starplayer's explanation.
 

Ice882

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starplayer said:
If a girl is attracted to one of her guy "friends", 9 times out of 10 it's the guy who was the upper hand in the friendship. He's usually a player type who flirts with loads of girls and might have a girlfriend - he is NOT a loser AFC nice guy.
That's totally true. I'm in this exact situation as the guy with loads of girls... and my friend is pining after this girl in my social circle.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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NewGuy72

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Every time I've done it it was because one of us (or both) were in a relationship when we met. So when we both become single there's a chance we'll start hooking up. But that's because there was attraction there to begin with.
 
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