how do I stop judging other people

[KontrollerX]

"So all humans are garbage based on a standard you no longer hold, because you've adopted the "society=no objective morals" standard?"

I was merely identifying what humans are by that common moral standard society has created for itself.

Not "because" I've adopted nihilism.

Nihilism is something that came after this realization for me.

"Then you say society's morals are "failing and flawed". Failed according to what standard? Flawed from comparison to what standard?"

Failed and flawed according to its own standard and anyone's that knows the system well and gives it an honest examination. Most people however are content with a "good enough" kind of morals system but good enough is not perfection.

"Is society morally netural with no standards?"

Society is beholden to whatever beliefs and mental prisons it creates for itself but despite all that their truth is still not the truth as it pertains to morals.

"Or are there standards by which you make your so called misanthropic judgements?"

The standards are societys. They demand all morals be followed to the letter yet are willing to break their own rules quite regularly if it suits them hence their morality system is clearly flawed and imperfect for this reason. When I create a misanthropic world view it only exists for the brief moments of time I enter back into the mindset of the societal common morality system in order to study it. Whenever I stay in the mindset for too long my disgust for humanity gets greater each time but when I leave that old morality mindset behind and go back to nihilism peaceful neutrality returns as does harmony and serenity to my mind.

Now I've got some questions for you to answer for me...

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why is the man who invests all your
money called a broker?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

 

[Darth]

"I personally think that it is in males' nature to be attracted to a woman who's a virgin. I think it's also in males' nature to look down on slutty women, heck it's in females' nature too."

I agree.

And to the OP, I thinking judging other people is perfectly natural. If you never judge anybody you'd be a pretty boring person. I believe there's a right and a wrong, and when I see or hear about a person doing something wrong, I judge them.

I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[five]

My apologies, I forgot to give advice to the OP. Try this game on for size:

Assume that the base of every action is a GOOD INTENTION. And make it a game to interact with other people, just enough, to detect their GOOD INTENTIONS. If you play this game long enough, you'll change your instictive reaction from "every body is bad" to "I wonder what thier good points are."

Because after all, you usually find what you look for.

Good point, I may have become so cynical of people over the years that I look for and only notice the bad things to prove to myself that I must be right.

 

[Idkmyname]

Judging people is a natural defense mechanism. You don't want to get rid of it.

 

[five]

This is FVCKED UP. Your concern about her sexual past is VALID and GENETICALLY AND BIOLOGICALLY BASED. Why are you trying to undo your programming as a man to fit into a sex and the city world?

Like most men I care about how many other men a woman has put into her pvssy. And if I get the idea that the number is too high I dump that used up piece of ***-sucking garbage and find something younger and fresher.

The FACT is that you should not be investing in old women that have taken it every which way for a decade or two and you should not feel bad. The FACT is that you should not take a young girl seriously who has spent her youth fvcking her brains out. The FACT is that a girl's sexual past does matter.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of critics for this thread, but those are from desperate AFC types that will bone any piece of garbage that will spread her legs. Ignore that, and listen to your inner critic. If you think your woman is a ho, she probably is. Throw her back onto the garbage heap of alpha-biatch women-gone-wild wanna be's and find yourself a quality woman.

I know that I am sexually attracted to many of the women that I judge, but yet I also feel that they are not right for me. It is this conflict that bugs me...why am I still attracted to a woman who I view as having low integrity? I would have a fling with her but then judge her over it afterwords...even though I took part in it. They are conflicting values..Which part is natural and which part is social conditioning?

 

[TheHumanist]

I know that I am sexually attracted to many of the women that I judge, but yet I also feel that they are not right for me. It is this conflict that bugs me...why am I still attracted to a woman who I view as having low integrity? I would have a fling with her but then judge her over it afterwords...even though I took part in it. They are conflicting values..Which part is natural and which part is social conditioning?

Because integrity, while essential to a good working friendship or a good healthy functioning relationship, for attraction, it does not matter. We are attracted to women by their looks first, they have some kind of physical aspect that at least pass the bare threshold minimum at the very least. Other qualities, even personality and integrity comes later. Essential to a good, working relationship and to build a genuine bond, but means nothing in terms of desiring for her body.

 

[five]

You are entitled to evaluate a womans sexual freedoms based on her history. IF that means being " judgemental " then so be it.
I gather that you had a traditional or conservative upbringing in which "right and wrong" were clearly defined. Well, why do you want to discard that?
THose old fashioned values were practised and taught for very good reasons. However they are no longer fashionable. We drifted into post-moderism instead with all its wishy washy confusion.

Hold fast to that which is fine.

I am finding that maybe I can't realistically live up to my own standards. (and I already haven't) I may be alone a long time if I continue to do/think the same way I have been. Maybe it is me that needs to sacrifice some old ways of thinking if I want to meet people and develop relationships. That maybe I am unrealistically expecting too much of people.

 

[Darth]

I am finding that maybe I can't realistically live up to my own standards. (and I already haven't) I may be alone a long time if I continue to do/think the same way I have been. Maybe it is me that needs to sacrifice some old ways of thinking if I want to meet people and develop relationships. That maybe I am unrealistically expecting too much of people.

Well this is a serious question. For myself, I hold girls to high standards, but it's all good because I hold myself to the same standard. As of now I haven't had sex, and I hope I have the willpower to keep that up until I get married.

I am proud of my value system. I wouldn't give it up for anything. It makes me who I am, and it makes me confident. And I think girls like that.

But it makes me really sad because more and more girls see nothing wrong with sleeping around. At this current point in time in 2008. But that doesn't mean I'm going to join them. I don't take cues on how to act based on what everyone else is doing.

What it does mean though, is that I understand that people have been brainwashed by our sex-crazed culture, and I am less judgmental of unmarried girls having sex than I used to be. I used to think that the average person's morals were like mine. What a shock that was. I went through high school basically horrified at what I saw around me.

Now I've loosened up around people, but I've never given up who I am.

 

[STR8UP]

A few observations:

1. A virgin cannot possibly be carrying another man's child. Therefore a man who marries a virgin does not risk investing in another man's gene's.

This is a good point but it is the only one that directly related to a biological advantage. Not buying the STD argument being biological. The AIDS scare was purely cultural and perpetuated by conservative government and the church. I know, I lived through that whole ridiculous lie.

4. Due to case 3 it is clear that the preference for virgin's is NOT a cultural norm. For what purely cutlural norm arises in nearly all cultures across time?

Do YOU prefer a virgin?

I have no desire....they are all yours.

5. Only in recent Western society has the notion of sexually promiscuous females been embraced. This has been a key part of the feminist agenda and the "empowerment" of women. Men have always divided women into madonna and *****. Feminists want men to accept ***** as madonna.

All men want their own PERSONAL wh0re.

What was that Andrew Dice Clay bit....the one where he asks the audience member if his girl is good at sucking d!ck, the guys says "Hell yea" and Dice says "How do you think she got that way?"

Got some news for you....women have ALWAYS fukked. Even back in the the ultra conservative Leave it to ****** 1950's (before feminism).

Read some of Kinsey's material. The prudish masses were outraged that he dare publish what people were REALLY doing, even though they were all doing it.

Are women today more promiscuous than they were in the past. I'm sure they are, but not to the extent that you probably think.

6. Much of capitalism rests on selling products. And what sells better than sex? So sexual promiscuity has been a driving feature of late Western capitalism apparent in advertising. This is driven by profit not by biology.

Profit is driven by biology. Don't go blaming the big bad capitalism boogeyman. It is foolish to believe that capitalism is responsible for people's attitudes. It is people's attitudes that are responsible for the content that capitalism places in front of them. You understand that in order to make a profit you have to cater to a demand, right? Successful businesses give consumers what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

CONCLUSION: Don't let Cosmo editors talk you into accepting a woman who's had 48 men in the past four and a half years. Hold out for quality women who are less likely to be carrying STD's -- both those we've identified and those we have yet to identify -- and more likely to be carrying your child if you end up getting married and having kids.

You honestly believe that it would be to your advantage to seek out and marry a virgin? Do you really believe that women are truthful about their sexual past in most cases? What is an "acceptable" amount of sexual activity for a woman to have had?

Good luck searching for the holy grail. I tend to concentrate on more important things, but to each his own....

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Now I've got some questions for you to answer for me...

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

I suppose because the marketing research suggested it wouldn't be a good seller. But then again, maybe it is mouse flavored and they just say its protein or something like that.

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Most certainly

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

http://www.northcoastfootcare.com/footcare-info/foot-anatomy.html

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

The "rush" refers to the CAUSE of the traffic, not the effect. Because everybody is in a rush to get home to their loved ones. Do you think they believe in nihilism?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

You don't. A military ID, an official state ID, or a Passport will work just fine.

Why is the man who invests all your
money called a broker?

Based on Spanish "alboroque", which means a gift of wine or something else to conclude a transaction.
You are thinking of "broke", which means something else. It is merely a coincidence that is confusing you.

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

The "drop" you refer to is a noun. Rain does indeep fall. But it falls in drops. Snow falls in flakes. Your question sentence contains an improperly used verb construction. Easy mistake.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Sorry, forgot to add:

Thank you Kontroller X for answering my questions so thoughtfully.

Although I must admit I'm still a bit confused as to the construction of your model of the world.

How do you deal with somebody when they express a different viewpoint? (People in real life, not the internet) Do you think "that's cool, that's their right to think whatever they want, because reality is kind of subjective" or do you think "Hmm. this person just doesn't get it."

How do you explain the people that are living truly happy lives? (even though they may be small in number)

Just curious, not trying to flame you.

And in the spirit of your previous questions:

Why is a Boxing ring square?
Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
Why is a wiseman considered smart, but a wiseguy is an idiot?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why do people come from "up north" and "down south" but never "left west" or "right east"?
Why does "slim chance" = "fat chance"?
Why doesn't horseradish contain horses?
Why do we recite in a play, and play in a recital?