How do I stop being an AFC?

[OJN_98]

This past Saturday, me and some bros went to mall and Wing House. While at the mall, one of them kept urging me to approach a girl, at a place like that there are a lot of options so I couldn't toss up an excuse, but I kept wussing out. Later that night, we went to Wing House and about 20 minutes in, they urged me to approach one of the girls and get her number. At first, I was real hesitant but decided that it was their job to make you feel at home so I decided, what the hell? Long story short, I didn't get zip. And all night, I seen these guys flirting around and actually get good responses.

Also, I don't consider myself to be an ugly guy. I'm average height, muscular, strong facial features, and dress well. I also know I don't entirely suck with girls as I've had multiple chances to get laid but can't follow through because I kept trying to force things after I was in the green. I'm 18 and about to graduate hs in a month and then off to college.

How do I stop being an AFC? Also, I'm open to criticism too.

 

[wifehunter]

Deprogram, and watch that internal dialog.

 

[backseatjuan]

Read DJ bible, watch approach videos, practice. Don't ever over analyze situations, don't be like that guy asking us what she meant by that, or do I have a chance with her, just do and say what you think is best, apply your learning, improve on failure.

 

[Serenity]

This is definitely an inner game issue. I struggled with this for a long time. Had a hard time approaching and when I did I felt very uncomfortable. I just kept doing it and reflected on my experiences with it. I concluded that rejection is not a big deal, the worst that happens is not getting the girl.

What's really AFC is to expect getting a positive result leading to a bad feeling every time you don't. I started expecting rejection, so I naturally put less effort into it and lowered the perceived stakes. I still did get rejected, but it didn't feel like rejection. It felt more like "oh, she's not interested so I'm not gonna waste my time on her", then I simply moved on. Eventually I learned to completely slow my racing mind down and keep myself calm and centered, I started getting some success. It was truly unexpected, but as long as I wasn't rejected I just went along with it.

That right there is being independent of the outcome, meaning you'll remain just as happy regardless if you get the girl or not. If you feel more pressure about hooking up with a girl a particular night, you are less likely to be successful at it. That pressure WILL make you uncomfortable and that discomfort is what shows as desperation.

So yeah, don't put yourself under all that pressure. Expect to be rejected and be surprised when you aren't. Do not compare yourself with all the other seemingly successful guys, they get plenty of rejection too but they move on until they aren't rejected.

 

[Roober]

Man, you are lucky to find this place at 18.... I wish I was sooo fortunate

 

[OJN_98]

Deprogram, and watch that internal dialog.

What do you mean by watching my internal dialog?

 

[wifehunter]

What do you mean by watching my internal dialog?

If you don't get it, that's a good place to start.

 

[marmel75]

When you start having enough success you almost become disinterested. And by disinterested I mean, you realize that you know how to "rig the system" so it's like playing a 6 year old in Tic Tac Toe or checkers...sure, you are going to win, but there is no challenge to it and it loses its excitement. And that's when you start to succeed even more. Because you can honestly just go talk to women and project a 100% real, IDGAF attitude because that is truly what you feel. You know you can go out anytime you want and make something happen if you need to, so any other time you can just have fun and do whatever. If something comes along, then you take the opportunity, if not then you just have fun and go back to what's already available to you.

This is why success breeds more success to the point you can't even fvck all the chicks that are interested and start turning them away.

 

[Manofrefinedtastes]

This past Saturday, me and some bros went to mall and Wing House. While at the mall, one of them kept urging me to approach a girl, at a place like that there are a lot of options so I couldn't toss up an excuse, but I kept wussing out. Later that night, we went to Wing House and about 20 minutes in, they urged me to approach one of the girls and get her number. At first, I was real hesitant but decided that it was their job to make you feel at home so I decided, what the hell? Long story short, I didn't get zip. And all night, I seen these guys flirting around and actually get good responses.

Also, I don't consider myself to be an ugly guy. I'm average height, muscular, strong facial features, and dress well. I also know I don't entirely suck with girls as I've had multiple chances to get laid but can't follow through because I kept trying to force things after I was in the green. I'm 18 and about to graduate hs in a month and then off to college.

How do I stop being an AFC? Also, I'm open to criticism too.

You seem brand new to hitting on women, since you kept wussing out, as you state. But, later that day, you hit on one.

To stop being an AFC, start hitting on 10 chicks a day.