How do I respond to this?

[Piers Nivens]

OK, before I begin, I think you should the topic where I explain the situation between me and the 9.5 girl. It's a VERY delicate situation, quite interesting too so it'll worth the read (not a long read). It'll definitely help you understand what's going on, and details in the topic are very relevant to the issue at hand:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=198332

Anyways, today she texts me around 5AM. I was asleep so I text back at 10AM. She texts back in 15 minutes and I respond at 11AM. She responds fairly quick and I respond at 11:30AM. From here we exchange several more messages for the next half hour, until at 12PM I stop responding and go silent.

7 hours later of no response from me, she calls me. Tells me she's lost in NJ and needs driving directions. I had a lot of guests over so I tell her let me get on my laptop and I'll get back to you.

5 minutes later, I text her "what is it? tell me quick I have to go out".

She responds 10 minutes later:
"nvm"
"i told you to call idiot"
"we found our way"
"thanks a lot "

I write back:"I left my home anyways. Keep your rude attitude to yourself".

Within minutes, she sends about 10 messages in a row:
"what?"
"???"
"why are you so mean to me?"
"I just asked you for directions, sorry"
"God, you dont have to hurt people's feelings all the time okay"
"if you dont like the way I speak, you don't have to hurt someone okay. And I wasn't even being rude"
"bye. don't ever talk to me again"

Been 4 and a half hours, I have not sent her a text back.

Now, if you read the topic I linked to, you would know that:
1) she has cried before in one of our text arguments
2) she's very sensitive, gets hurt quick but apparently only by me
3) after our first argument where she ended up crying, I told her we should stop talking. she did not agree.

then, when we had the confessions discussion, she had promised she wouldn't talk to me but has only INCREASED the amount of contact and tensity since then (read the topic for what happened)

basically, she has said dont talk to me about 8 times already, but she keeps coming back the next day and refuses to break contact when I say so. So her this "dont ever talk to me again" doesn't really matter since she has done this a lot.

however, I actually am very interested in her and do feel bad for hurting her several times, even though I don't mean to.

If I go no contact with her until she texts me back (which I know she will by tomorrow), would it be a ****move on my part? To apparently hurt her like this (even though she called me an idiot) then go NC for so long without even responding?

Or should I send her a text right now? And if so, saying what? Sincere or ****y/funny (i.e. "you and I both know we won't stop talking to each other. history has proven that".)

thanks for the read

 

[Fly By Night]

You should not be in relationships where the woman is constantly threatening to go NC.

 

[Piers Nivens]

Thing is, she fails to go NC every single time. If you read the original topic, you'd see that she is a very, very sensitive girl who has never had a bf before.

Let alone relationship, she is amazing enough to be the wife. She's beautiful, amazing personality, humorous, intelligent, and downright DOWN TO EARTH.

Her NC "threats" are all attempts so I would talk with her. She fails to keep true to her word every time, and if I say we should break contact, she goes crazy and starts saying everything in order to keep contact in tact.

 

[NewAndImproved]

she is amazing enough to be the wife. She's beautiful, amazing personality, humorous, intelligent, and downright DOWN TO EARTH.

You've got jokes man.
:crackup:

 

[Fly By Night]

she is amazing enough to be the wife. She's beautiful, amazing personality, humorous, intelligent, and downright DOWN TO EARTH.

If that were true, you would not have made this thread.

 

[Trump]

Anyways, today she texts me around 5AM. I was asleep so I text back at 10AM. She texts back in 15 minutes and I respond at 11AM. She responds fairly quick and I respond at 11:30AM. From here we exchange several more messages for the next half hour, until at 12PM I stop responding and go silent.

7 hours later of no response from me, she calls me. Tells me she's lost in NJ and needs driving directions.

5 minutes later, I text her "what is it? tell me quick I have to go out".

She responds 10 minutes later:
"nvm"
"i told you to call idiot"
"we found our way"

I actually am very interested in her and do feel bad for hurting her several times, even though I don't mean to.

Or should I send her a text right now? And if so, saying what? Sincere or ****y/funny (i.e. "you and I both know we won't stop talking to each other. history has proven that".)

Bro you got big problems. A girl calls you an idiot and want to know if you should text her back?

She's already lost all respect for you. Tell her go screw off and move on, don't waste your time with this garbage, even if she's a hb 9.5.

 

[Asterisk]

Bro you got big problems. A girl calls you an idiot and want to know if you should text her back?

She's already lost all respect for you. Tell her go screw off and move on, don't waste your time with this garbage, even if she's a hb 9.5.

yeah i'd next this chick for sure

 

[PersistenceIsKey]

Dude, you are crazy, and this girl is crazy.

 

[flashpoint]

doesnt seem like a healthy relationship to me.

people will say "she called you an idiot. that is disrespectful and you need to punish/next her." and they wont be totally wrong. but what is it with you? she is lost somewhere in NJ and instead of calling her and giving her directions you text her what she wanted from you? what is wrong with actually getting to your computer and call her like you have told her before? of course she gets upset and honestly you were being a bit of an idiot here. and your lack of understanding that drove her even more mad, so ...

not sure if you guys are already past puberty but if so maybe more of an adult behavior on BOTH of your sides could save this thing. but honestly what is the benefit? if you are arguing about small stuff like this and constantly have drama, maybe it is for the better to really stop talking to each other. she is a bit of a drama queen and you seem lost in translation, so maybe both of you can find someone who is a better fit.

 

[JohnChops]

Tell her to fvck off , this wh0re doesn't deserve your time

 

[Asterisk]

Tell her to fvck off , this wh0re doesn't deserve your time

well, that's putting it mildly....:rockon:

 

[VladPatton]

Question if you too love the drama and if you love to feed her attention-starved persona. Otherwise, this girl is cookoo-loo-loo.

It all starts with calling you an idiot, then an a$$hole, then a prick, then motherphucker, then she rags on your mom and family, and you'll just sit there and eat it up because she's so hot.

Re-calibrate your mind and find a girl more mentally stable. You;ll thank us in the long run.

 

[Cremasta]

Yep, this is one of the downfalls of texting.

I think you probably picked a fight where there wasn't one.
So she called you an idiot in a text, so what? The smiley at the end of the "thanks a lot" message tells me it was probably good natured.

How many times have you called one of your mates an idiot/dyckhead/wanker and it's just been mucking around?

You could have come back with something like "Idiot hey? I'm not the one driving around in circles in NJ! I'll see you if you ever find your way home "

 

[Piers Nivens]

Smh, you guys have the wrong idea about her fellas. She isn't anything several of you have falsely accused of her, maybe its because you guys dont know her and we(as in you and me) are communicating va text on a website, perhaps not giving off the right image. And by "we", she meant her sister and her (the two were in the car at the time).

Yep, this is one of the downfalls of texting.

I think you probably picked a fight where there wasn't one.
So she called you an idiot in a text, so what? The smiley at the end of the "thanks a lot" message tells me it was probably good natured.

How many times have you called one of your mates an idiot/dyckhead/wanker and it's just been mucking around?

You could have come back with something like "Idiot hey? I'm not the one driving around in circles in NJ! I'll see you if you ever find your way home "

I agree man, the idiot could have been used non-offensively. She is a wild one, once she gets in the comfort zone she's crazy (in a good way). I call her stupid many times in person, with the whole laughing tone so she knows I'm joking and she laughs along with. I think the idiot used in the text was probably good natured as well, and she was probably freaked out by being lost in NJ at nearly 8PM in raining conditions (only with her younger sister in the car).

I don't know how to pick up/fix this. We've been cold and NC since that day basically, HOWEVER, we had a pool session planned this Thursday and I don't know if we're gonna meet up for it or not. Don't want to text her about it either, as I'm staying NC.

Women...

 

[DonJuanabe]

How old are you? How old is she? Assuming you are not children despite your behavior, here is what I would do because at this point I wouldn't give a crap whether I ever see her again:

Next time she communicates with you whether text, phone, email, or in person: "Look HB 9.5, this is getting ridiculous. I have better things to do, and plenty of girls to date, than waste my time playing games. Either take me out to dinner tonight or I'm washing my hands of this mess." If you say this in person be nonchalant like you don't give a f*ck -- time to fish or cut bait.

Chances are she will turn it around and tell you that you have to take her to dinner. If this is in person and she does that say "Yeah? Come here." Step forward and start making out with her right then and there.

Be her mate, not her textmate.

 

[Piers Nivens]

We're both 21. I'm older only by several months. We had planned Thursday for pool, but that was before this happened and we went NC on each other.

However, the way I know her, she is going to end up texting me today or tomorrow to discuss Thursday. I don't want to be the first to contact her after this, and I did leave the ball in her court since the last message was by me ("bye").

There is unbelievable amount of high interest levels both in texts and especially in person. But because she's religious, I'm treading waters carefully. Hence, the whole pull her close kiss isn't really possible at the moment (she's never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, and because she's religious, I am more or less the first male the break so many barriers with her, including kino, which in fact was initiated BY HER many many times, more so than I did).

 

[Piers Nivens]

Btw, dinner is (or was in this case) planned for Thursday as well

 

[textanova]

When you're losing ground, disappear until she gets her head straight. Forget texting for now. Give her a call in a few days, ask her out and do something fun.

Sounds like a really petty argument that shouldn't ruin your chances with her in the future.

 

[Piers Nivens]

My worry is that even though I am going NC, she is also NC at the moment. I don't want to push things too far that she loses interest, know what I mean? I admittingly did hurt her feelings a number of times, yes, they were petty situations, but from HER POV they weren't and she was hurt.

When she contacts me, I'll make sure to not 'hurt' her again (problem with very sensitive girls/inexperienced girls).

No contact until then it is.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Okay... seriously, this has got to stop...

I'm just tired. Tired of going to all these different threads and seeing guys with their high-interest level be blinded to women who are just not treating them right. Tired of hearing the guy ask for advice, then excusing the advice when it consist of other guys who have been through the situation telling him "eh, you need to next this one."

Here's the reality: when you have no other options, the option you have is the one you'll try to cling onto, even when that option is not worth holding on to. It's the whole "better to have someone than no one" schtick.

The option you have right now is this: a woman who is hyper-sensitive and politely disrespectful of you. Meaning: she takes a lot of the stuff you say out of context - stuff that's not even remotely offensive - and puts a smile on her face while insulting you.

Think about two things: one, if the person who had this personality was a GUY, would you continue to hang out with him? And two, if your Mom, sister, aunt, etc. were telling you the things about a guy they were dating that you've told us about her, would you want her to continue seeing him?

The way she's acting has nothing to do with her religion, pal, and everything to do with the fact that she knows she can walk all over you with her bad attitude.

You say "she is amazing enough to be the wife." Do you REALLY want a wife who's going to fall apart and stop talking to you every time she feels you've said something she doesn't like?

You say she has an "amazing personality" - would someone who did be insulting to you over nothing? Would a "humorous, intelligent, and downright DOWN TO EARTH" person be so sarcastic, inconsiderately dumb (if she were smart, she could've summarized that maybe you were texting her because it was too LOUD at your place with all your guest to be able to hear her in the first place) and throw a hissy fit?

You're 21, so you may not have gone out with this type of girl before; however, I HAVE, and it's a pain in the butt. You're always walking on eggshells, always afraid of saying the wrong thing, and constantly worried that anything you try to do for them isn't going to be good enough. It's NOT a good relationship to be in.

What's the solution? I'd say "stop being around her," but since you're not spinning any other plates at the moment (which you should be), I'm pretty sure that advice is going to fall on deaf ears. So, instead, don't call/text her, wait for her to reach out, and keep the convo to a minimum. Don't ask her to hang out, and if she, by chance, ask you at some point why you two haven't hung out in a while, just tell her you're not about drama and found some other chicks to hang out with - which you SHOULD be doing anyway.

It'll either hurt her feelings or make her look at herself and change her attitude - in either case, don't let yourself continue to hang with someone who's blatantly disrespecting you.