"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How do I not **** this up
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Night-hawk
Master Don Juan
perseverance
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Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
2) Stop the LOL's the cute smileys, winks, etc. They make a man look weak and common. Winks can be ok if used sparingly, but too many guys are LOLing all over the place and subconsciously planting in her mind that you are just like her silly girlfriends.
These are not absolutes but guidelines to follow.
I've said it before a nd I'll say it again: Women fall in love with you in your absence, not when you are with her. When you are with her, you should be planting seeds. When you are apart, she will talk herself into what a great guy you are and cultivate those seeds herself. Easy peasy LOL!!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Basically, this cute, blonde, fit, sporty girl asked me to her (semi) formal. I was over the moon. Didn't text her too much before the formal, had a good time there I think I was good on the night. Asked her out a few weeks later on the phone, she initially had something on but we set up a time. Went out with her, had a great time (didn't kiss close). Didn't kiss close on the second date either.
My thought process with texting her for the duration of this was this
"She is hot, she is interested in me. I have to show how interesting/exciting I am so that she doesn't drop her interest level or find other guys. By often texting her she will be reminded of attractive I am and how much fun we've had together and thus she will remain interested."
I don't really enjoy texting convos and I honestly ran out of things to say and it resulted in me having crappy boring texting convos with her. My problem was I was too serious in the texts, asking boring 'adult' questions about her family, what she was doing. Honestly, I don't think either of us enjoyed it. For this reason I'd say
Keep it light, edgy and humourous in the texts
I think also it's easy to get sucked in an think that you need to keep texting her to 'keep her IL high' and also, it's a little boost to the ego every time you see a text from her.
For this reason and my own personal experience I would advise
Keep the texting minimum and irregular
I think this line from Hitch is appropriate here.
tonight (all the time), when you're wondering what to say, or how you look, or whether or not she likes you, just remember, she is already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. It is your job not to mess it up.
Don't care too much about what she thinks about you. Have a blast at the formal and have a great time with your friends. Because they will still be around after she's gone.