How do I not **** this up

[JPlaya]

so I asked this one chick that I recently met to formal and she's really excited about it. Thing is I'll be gone all this weekend and formal is at the end of the month. How do I keep her IL high

 

[Night-hawk]

She's excited. Why worry about it.

 

[perseverance]

How do I not **** this up? By not being outcome dependent.

 

[JPlaya]

idk, I tried to start a short texting convo to kind of make her keep me in her mind, but she just responded with paragraphs and I said lol to end it and she replied with another question and another paragraph lol. I decided to say **** it and go to sleep, so should I kind of reply to this or let it be.

 

[Atom Smasher]

1) If she has a high IL, maintain it by being scarce and mysterious. If you try to keep yourself too visible and accessable, the IL will diminish rapidly. Please believe that!

2) Stop the LOL's the cute smileys, winks, etc. They make a man look weak and common. Winks can be ok if used sparingly, but too many guys are LOLing all over the place and subconsciously planting in her mind that you are just like her silly girlfriends.

These are not absolutes but guidelines to follow.

I've said it before a nd I'll say it again: Women fall in love with you in your absence, not when you are with her. When you are with her, you should be planting seeds. When you are apart, she will talk herself into what a great guy you are and cultivate those seeds herself. Easy peasy LOL!!

 

[ka_mate]

Okay, dude I've pretty much been in a very similar situation to you and I ballsed it up so I'll give you my perspective.

Basically, this cute, blonde, fit, sporty girl asked me to her (semi) formal. I was over the moon. Didn't text her too much before the formal, had a good time there I think I was good on the night. Asked her out a few weeks later on the phone, she initially had something on but we set up a time. Went out with her, had a great time (didn't kiss close). Didn't kiss close on the second date either.

My thought process with texting her for the duration of this was this

"She is hot, she is interested in me. I have to show how interesting/exciting I am so that she doesn't drop her interest level or find other guys. By often texting her she will be reminded of attractive I am and how much fun we've had together and thus she will remain interested."

I don't really enjoy texting convos and I honestly ran out of things to say and it resulted in me having crappy boring texting convos with her. My problem was I was too serious in the texts, asking boring 'adult' questions about her family, what she was doing. Honestly, I don't think either of us enjoyed it. For this reason I'd say

Keep it light, edgy and humourous in the texts

I think also it's easy to get sucked in an think that you need to keep texting her to 'keep her IL high' and also, it's a little boost to the ego every time you see a text from her.

For this reason and my own personal experience I would advise

Keep the texting minimum and irregular

I think this line from Hitch is appropriate here.

tonight (all the time), when you're wondering what to say, or how you look, or whether or not she likes you, just remember, she is already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. It is your job not to mess it up.

Don't care too much about what she thinks about you. Have a blast at the formal and have a great time with your friends. Because they will still be around after she's gone.