You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Oh my GOD this is golden. Dementia, GREAT call. You're absolutely right on this. I never use to bother doing that, and just set up the time and date. I learned about this trick when I called up this one girl who I really wasn't expecting to set up a date with, then we got on the topic of what we did last time, and next thing I know, she's asking me when the soonest it was we could get together. I talked to one of my GOOD friends about this, and he said that, when setting up for the next date, ALWAYS bring something up that happened in the last date, usually something out of the ordinary and personal between the both of you. It helps to create a personal connection between you and her, and when a girl feels that there is a connection between you and her, she will not give up NEARLY as easily as if there was no connection.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.