How do I get over the insecurity of talking to one girl

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm scared that if just talk to one girl then she's going to magically ghost me shortly. I ruined my last relationship because I got into it spinning multiple plates and I don't want to ruin my future relationships with this insecurity as well.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Do hypnosis by Mark bowden on YouTube. I got his app. U can get rid of insecurities and limiting beliefs and get insane confidence quickly if you get the app. It's amazing

 

[Steno]

I'm on the same boat as you, I ****ed up my last "relationship" because of the plate spinning and being too aloof/uncommitted. Are you currently seeing someone who you think has LTR potential?

My advice would be to narrow your focus, I am assuming you want a LTR. Screen hard on the first 2-3 dates until you feel confident that she meets your standards before you commit your time and energy to her. From your posts I can tell you have very good screening skills, so trust them. If things don't work out you can always break up and go find a new chick. But I feel for you, I just went on a 1st date with a woman who passed all my initial screening with flying colors and now that im not plate spinning im scared AF, it feels weird but I will man up and ignore that weird feeling. Kinda feels like being a kid and the first time biking without training wheels.

BTW what was it about spinning plates that messed up your last relationship?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm scared that if just talk to one girl then she's going to magically ghost me shortly. I ruined my last relationship because I got into it spinning multiple plates and I don't want to ruin my future relationships with this insecurity as well.

You can't reach a place of abundance when you are starting from a place of lack.

You will need to fix your mindset. Spinning plates didn't ruin your relationship, your internal lack that manifested itself in the relationships did.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

BTW what was it about spinning plates that messed up your last relationship?

I had essentially two gfs and a side piece. The secondary girlfriend paid for us a trip to Southern Europe for 2 weeks in which I lied to my exes face and said my family took me lol. That’s something you can’t just take with you to an oath to the girl you want to marry, so the relationship in my head was essentially over but I still wanted to make it work. We ended up breaking up because the relationship had it ran it’s course and I told her about the slam piece girl I was screwing on the side but I didn’t tell her about the ex I went to Europe with and I never will lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You will need to fix your mindset. Spinning plates didn't ruin your relationship, your internal lack that manifested itself in the relationships did.

I literally cheated on my GF with 5 different women

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I literally cheated on my GF with 5 different women

She wasn't your girlfriend if you were spinning plates. She was just your main plate you treated like a GF.

If you want to play the game, put on the big boy pants, man up and tell them how things are going to be instead of telling them what they want to hear and then doing something else behind their back because you are afraid to lose them.

Again...a lacking mindset. Fear of loss.

 

[Steno]

I had essentially two gfs and a side piece. The secondary girlfriend paid for us a trip to Southern Europe for 2 weeks in which I lied to my exes face and said my family took me lol. That’s something you can’t just take with you to an oath to the girl you want to marry, so the relationship in my head was essentially over but I still wanted to make it work. We ended up breaking up because the relationship had it ran it’s course and I told her about the slam piece girl I was screwing on the side but I didn’t tell her about the ex I went to Europe with and I never will lol.

Oh snap, I get weird issues too when very attractive chicks get mixed into the spinning plates cycle. Take a break from spinning and see how it works, it might lead to healthier relationships.

 

[Barrister]

First, ask yourself why you want just this one girl. Assuming you can articulate that and it makes sense, next accept the fact that when you commit to a single woman you naturally are giving up certain freedoms, at least to the extent of keeping that woman. Also accept that this means facing problems that arise with her and having a much bigger challenge in maintaining your frame over a long period of time as compared to plate spinning.

There are pros and cons to both plate spinning and LTRs. You are highlighting one of the bigger drawbacks of an LTR. Still, you can operate with an abundance mindset knowing that if the relationship ended, your SMV is so high you would have another woman in no time at all. Operate with confidence with whatever path you take.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

First, ask yourself why you want just this one girl. Assuming you can articulate that and it makes sense, next accept the fact that when you commit to a single woman you naturally are giving up certain freedoms, at least to the extent of keeping that woman. Also accept that this means facing problems that arise with her and having a much bigger challenge in maintaining your frame over a long period of time as compared to plate spinning.

There are pros and cons to both plate spinning and LTRs. You are highlighting one of the bigger drawbacks of an LTR. Still, you can operate with an abundance mindset knowing that if the relationship ended, your SMV is so high you would have another woman in no time at all. Operate with confidence with whatever path you take.

I think my biggest fear is facing a dry spell. I faced a lot of droughts in Tennessee because it was Tennessee lol. Now that I'm out, the longest I've had one was a voluntarily 2-month dry spell I decided to take after a nasty breakup.

 

[bat soup]

I'm scared that if just talk to one girl then she's going to magically ghost me shortly. I ruined my last relationship because I got into it spinning multiple plates and I don't want to ruin my future relationships with this insecurity as well.

You should avoid getting emotionally involved too early.

Wait until a girl has proven herself to be reliable before you trust her or become exclusive.