"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
How do I get out of debt?
- Thread starter e-lie
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ouch! Goodness gracious, $11,000 USD? Could you provide us with some more details as to what this came from? Please tell me it's not gambling debt.e-lie said:
But pretty much, yeah, you just pay it down. Sorry man. There's really no quick fixes. Cut back on the late night Taco Bell runs and see if you can trim some expenses. People end up wasting a lot of money on things like that, and it does add up. It won't get you out of your situation completely, but everything helps. What is your income like?
When you get some time, read The Millionaire Next Door. Although retrospective, it will help you from not getting in this situation again.
SmoothTalker
Master Don Juan
Put every spare penny towards the debt. If you have any investments, sell them and put them against the debt (unless they are stocks that are currently waaaaay bellow purchase price but you expect to rebound). If you have savings, obtain a line of credit and pour the savings against the debt instead.
Why? Because depending on the type of debt you're paying interest at 5-20+% per year, GUARUNTEED.
Tell me an investment that gives that kind of return every year for sure?
And as for not having savings, IF you run into trouble you can borrow money and then pay interest on it. Isn't that better then already paying interest on your loan while having savings that are essentially just sitting there? I know savings accounts pay interest, but its always much less then interest on debt.
OK, when an alcoholic embarks on sobriety for good, the first thing they tell them is to stop drinking.
In your case...stop spending!
You'll never bring your debt down if you keep adding to it. If you're serious about this, you need to change your outlook and expectations.
Learn to grocery shop and learn to cook and learn to stay home and be content with what you have. Until you dig your way out.
I hope there is no one named "Guido" involved in your debt
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Decide on the most amount of money you can spend towards your debt. Pick the card with the highest APR and attack it and pay only the minimum payments on the lower APR cards.
Here is a rough outline. $100 towards monthly payments
Card A $10
Card B $10
Card C $80
Once card C is paid off, keep using that $100. Pay the minimum on Card A but put $90 towards Card B. Once card B is paid off, then put $100 onto Card A.
I'd also suggest calling the credit card companies and asking if they can lower the APR. It never hurts to ask.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
that kinda defeats the purpose of becoming a doctor/lawyer.
their output for loads and debt was 4100 a month and I that doesn't sound like a lot of principal payment either at 500k.
talk about spinning wheels
Yeah, given that we're talking a doctor and lawyer, they probably spent 6 figures on their wedding and have 2 leased luxury cars in the garage. People think making more money is the answer to their problems, but all that does is give them carte blanche to spend more. Parkinson's law at work.backbreaker said:
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
or.... they went in debt to pay for medical and law school. I hear medical school is especially expensive.speakeasy said:
I presume they also have day-to-day expenses during these schools which they most likely wont have a job to pay for.Put all extra money towards the debt and cut out unnecessary expenses. Are you wanting something that sounds more eloquent and is no more accurate?
Next, cut all your credit cards up. Try a bank debit card that comes with a checking account.
spider_007
Master Don Juan
Pay the highest interst rate credit first, in another words, pay minimum payments on averything else, and the rest pay to the highest interest card.
Once you pay that off, go down the line. Take that money you would be paying for that high interst card (that you just paid off) and add it to the minimum payment that you ware making on the second highest card....
and keep going.
The more cards you pay off, the more money you have to pay the remaining cards/bills.
If your impationt kind of guy, you could start with the card with the lowest amount, that way you'll pay it off sooner, and you'll feel satisfaction and motivation to keep going.
MascaraSnake
Senior Don Juan
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I do with the smallest things (I'm a poor college student). Try to not ever sacrifice quality for price...there are high-quality products that are bargains everywhere.
The basic stuff is easy...use coupons, don't eat out that much, make a budget, etc., but here's a few suggestions I use if I'm in a pinch...again, I'm a tightwad artist so you might not take to these.
- Save every bit of change you get, and I mean every bit. Keep a jar or piggy bank and empty it out when it gets full...one time I had 20 dollars in mine, and that was only about 4 months of change.
- If you buy pre-packaged or deli-sliced meat, don't. Buy a mid-sized ham/side of beef/turkey breast and have the deli cut it for you. Haven't tried this with cheese.
- Use public transportation as often as you can if you're in a good-sized city. I wouldn't ditch the car unless you're in a very well-covered area.
- Cheap out on toiletries and buy in bulk whenever you can. My skin and hair are in great shape, and I do all of the morning rituals with bargain basement products. Cologne's a different story, but there are still deals to be had with your favorite scents if you look for them.
- Sell your CDs, and rip all of the songs to a cheap MP3 player to tide you over (it's technically illegal, but nobody will care and you can always buy the CDs again). For DVDs, get a cheap NetFlix account. For books, dust off your old library card. My local library (Minneapolis) tends to have a pretty good selection moviewise too.
- If you have basic and premium cable, think of getting rid of it. Premium is a no-brainer, but you can buy a lot of the TV shows on basic on DVD nowadays. You can make up for the news programs by subscribing to or reading a few different papers online.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.