How do I get more respect from men and women?

[Askaladd]

I feel like I am not very respected or feared. I usually mess and joke around, is this making people respect me less? I can also sense that women don't respect me much.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I feel like I am not very respected or feared. I usually mess and joke around, is this making people respect me less? I can also sense that women don't respect me much.

It's actually pretty easy. All you need to do is become (a) rich, (b) famous or (c) both.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It's actually pretty easy. All you need to do is become (a) rich, (b) famous or (c) both.

I feel like I am not very respected or feared. I usually mess and joke around, is this making people respect me less? I can also sense that women don't respect me much.

With all due respect, based on what you wrote, being the comic relief in a group setting isn’t inherently a bad thing. You’re still providing value to the group. As long as you have social awareness and can read the room, joking around won’t automatically make people disrespect you. You may not come across as the “alpha” type, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still benefit socially. Also, keep in mind that there are different types of respect. You might want to think more carefully about how you want to be treated, are you looking for authority, admiration, boundaries, or something else?

That said, if you want to be respected more overall, the main objective is to make sure you’re not acting like a doormat. A doormat is someone who constantly imitates others and avoids forming or expressing their own opinions. An inability to disagree with people, especially when it matters, is usually a red flag. To change this, you need to develop your own personality more fully and learn to lead within your own life. If you want a structured place to start without overwhelming yourself, I’d recommend reading Chapter 11 of Psycho-Cybernetics. Start there and let me know if you have any questions. This is basically the starting point on how to get a strong "frame"

[/MEDIA]

 

[Gamisch]

I feel like I am not very respected or feared. I usually mess and joke around, is this making people respect me less? I can also sense that women don't respect me much.

I got you

You basically say you don't respect YOURSELF. It will all start with you my brother. Self-respect is a SKILL one that no other person can hand you..

To keep it "meat and potatoes "; break down whatever you meed to feel respected by the image in the mirror. Personally I've dealt with something similar and it only disappeared "out of nowhere " AFTER I started to realise that I was rather busy trying to get respect from other people who basically have the same exact problem! You can only love others when you actually lobe yourself. That's why even parents oftentimes fail to love their offspring: they never learned self love

About fear: kinda the same. Why do you even wanna be feared? I used to box and believed thah I was a dangerous man,but life humbled me plenty of times both inside and outside the ring. Fear means being afraid to lose shyte. A person who isn't afraid to lose is the scariest opponent you can get. Fear ( through anger) is an illusion and gives you a false sense of security. Even violence only gets you so far, as eventually people WILL get over their fear and confront you. Just like at the criminal underworld, where the most feared eventually gets stabbed in the back ,literally. Someone will and shall .

Imo people rather Fear a righteous man who is willing to step up whenever injustice happens. No nonsense is what people Fear. If you are true to yourself ,people will fear you unconsciously what ironically enough will lead to respect thus you wont even have to deal with the concept of fear or threat AT ALL.

 

[zekko]

I feel like I am not very respected or feared.

"Feared" strikes me as kind of funny, but eh I get it. I've been there. You want people to fear messing with you or crossing you. It's a bigger deal for a young guy, I think.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Be worthy of their respect.

 

[crowolf]

By respecting yourself, first and foremost.

On the practical side of things: Check out the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy", develop self-discipline, train martial arts.

 

[The Duke]

-Do what you say you will do.
-Stand your ground.
-Admit when you are wrong.
-Exhibit Integrity.
-Don't worry about being liked.

 

[plumber]

what is your physical training activities. Are you lifting ? or other physical training ?

do you feel like your skinny, fat or muscular ?

tall, short, average height ?

good looking, average, or bad ?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

We only respect those who are valuable to us.

We only respect those who can harm us in some way.

We only respect those who can benefit us in some way.

We only respect those we genuinely admire and whose opinion means something to us.

 

[Manure Spherian]

"Feared" strikes me as kind of funny, but eh I get it. I've been there. You want people to fear messing with you or crossing you. It's a bigger deal for a young guy, I think.

Roger Devlin wrote all respect has its root in fear. I agree with him.