How do i get her interested?

[Stud No1]

this is a tough one

a girl that used to like me, now i like her and ive been texting her etc. but ive felt minimal effort from her side apart from one night where she had a few drinks and things went well.

but i think now ive started texting her and making an effort she's backed off somewhat. disappointing.

on saturday night when we were out i got her on the dancefloor with me, we danced for maybe a minute but she seemed unsettled (i know she's shy but this wasnt a great vibe), she then went over to talk to someone, came back, and then again said 'ill be back in a second and went to talk to her friend'. i gave it maybe 10 seconds and then walked off the dancefloor - as i said i think it was a hint and i didnt want to be pushy.

then outside afterwards we were sitting beside each other and she didnt really give me much to go on, i.e.- not much eye contact or anything, pretty much disinterested in my mind. i find this very hard to work with and i found myself having nothing to say. i negged her a few times and that went do horribly, i think she might need to lighten up.


what am i to make of it? im worried she's afraid of me making a move or something and seems to be a bit distant to avoid this, or my other gut feeling was that me with a few drinks in me seemed to turn her off.

any advice would be great.


im thinking of sticking her in the friend zone and she how that goes ad maybe it could blossom if i get her back in a comfortzone? also not to drink so much because i think it affected my game big time, or certainly my judgement (eg. i just sat beside her outside, a sloppy approach maybe)

lastly, should i apologise for negging her? i went too far, as i often do with drink in me. i asked her if she had cut a piece out of a tablecloth for her skirt, and she didnt exactly laugh. oppps

 

[BoredDude]

If I read that correctly I think you need to just move on.

 

[killbill]

she doesnt sound interested in you. find another chick. and quit wasting your time with her.

 

[ready123]

im thinking of sticking her in the friend zone and she how that goes ad maybe it could blossom if i get her back in a comfortzone? also not to drink so much because i think it affected my game big time, or certainly my judgement (eg. i just sat beside her outside, a sloppy approach maybe)

technically, the friend zone IS the comfort zone but without attraction. but I don't even think she's comfortable with you since she's walking away and disinterested. she was attracted to you once but that window of opportunity shut because you weren't into her and now that it's dragged on, attraction is gone and nothing is left but awkwardness.

you're also not calibrated. you're coming from a place where you're using tricks like negs to "get her" and analyzing all the little things, but none of these is gonna do anything for you when you can't even read the girl

take what you can learn from this and move on to the next girl

 

[Monkey]

If they like you they make it easy for you...

 

[Stud No1]

If they like you they make it easy for you...

very true buddy, she's clearly made a conscious decision to do the opposite, which isnt a good sign.

i refuse to accept the advice of giving up, im not used to failure and dont intend to start now. in my eyes theres a reason for the disinterest

she used to like me so i must be her type in some shape or form

not to boast, but ive plenty going for me, i cant think of anything that would have put her off (but who knows i guess)

so...

i can only guess she's either pissed that i started going out with my ex 3 years ago when she expressed interest, and now is getting her own back, she sees herself as plan b (i dont)

or

feels its too soon since ive only broke up 2 months ago...


do these sound feasible?

at hindsight i think i came in a bit fast, she kinda gave me the come on and since then i had texted her a bit. considering i hadnt contacted her for 3 years [ie. with my gf] and then all of a sudden showed interest as soon as i broke up. dammit. i really hope i can turn this around again as tbh the 'rejection' really drives me. its like we should have hooked up long ago but its just never happened and now i want it to

 

[Stud No1]

technically, the friend zone IS the comfort zone but without attraction. but I don't even think she's comfortable with you since she's walking away and disinterested. she was attracted to you once but that window of opportunity shut because you weren't into her and now that it's dragged on, attraction is gone and nothing is left but awkwardness.

you're also not calibrated. you're coming from a place where you're using tricks like negs to "get her" and analyzing all the little things, but none of these is gonna do anything for you when you can't even read the girl

take what you can learn from this and move on to the next girl

good post but not completely right. you allude to the situation as if she's uncomfortable with me and doesnt want to be in contact with me, but that isnt the case, we're at very least friends and every time we see each other she's chatty and always brings up something she rememebers about me/us and is engaging. my sister says she always brings me up in conversation when they meet also. so theres certainly a base for atleast a good friendship even though im on the verge of ganji'ing her :woo: