"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How do I create interest/attraction with women I have nothing in common with?

Deicide

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Hello, I recently began doing cold approaches on women 2 weeks ago(I've done about 15 or so, maybe 20 in that time), and I've realized that a lot of women I'm interested in for looks have nothing in common with me. What do I need to do to create interest and attraction there?
This problem usually happens with girls I cold approach at college. Specifically, girls into anime/video games/japanese hobbies that hang out in group clicks. I was very nervous tonight, but I cold approached an attractive woman with a Zelda shirt on by saying "Hey, How are you doing?", and her immediate answer was "Who are you?", But I answered honestly and it was a decent cold approach. No number, I was just trying to build rapport with her. I could tell by her response she wasn't used to being cold approached, but this is really the best way to meet women, though most men certainly don't do it here.
How do I create interest/attraction with women I have nothing in common with? I appreciate any advice and help here.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blueline

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I have no idea, but I have created a couple entire several month long relationships with girls I had nothing in common with at the beginning of the relationship and nothing in common with towards the end of the relationship. It's unhealthy.
 

PokerStar

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my suggestion is to probe her with random questions and see if you can find anything that you both could touch base on. that way a connection is made.

i usually talk about art, like what kind of pictures she has hung up on her wall or what's her favorite dish to cook or if she has any pets.

once you found a connection, run with it.
 

Tesl

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Though, be asking yourself if you really want to be getting yourself involved in a girl you have nothing in common with me. If I can't hit it off with a girl based on common interests or with our personality clicking well, then I probably don't want to be seeing her anymore....
 

Bryce556

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She was wearing a zelda shirt! Run with that. As a mentor I met once told me, gotta be like a ninja allways aware of your sorroundings generate humor or comments based on what's around you.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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mrRuckus

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Deicide said:
I was very nervous tonight, but I cold approached an attractive woman with a Zelda shirt on by saying "Hey, How are you doing?", and her immediate answer was "Who are you?",
Anyone who thinks women have better social skills than men is fooling themselves.
 

terran2k

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can't you join an anime club?
cold approaches are cool and all, but for me, being part of some sort of social club was much more productive and you also expand your social circle.
 

TheAsianLoverReturns

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She has no interest in you.

You cannot create attraction, you can only increase it.

Next time, approach women that give you favorable eye contact. What does that mean? When a women looks at you and your mind tells you "she likes me."
 

Deicide

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terran2k said:
can't you join an anime club?
cold approaches are cool and all, but for me, being part of some sort of social club was much more productive and you also expand your social circle.
I'm not interested in anime. Yes, I'm mostly just an individualistic person that hangs out with people from different groups, so it's harder for me to meet people through friends I'm interested in.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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If you have nothing in common, then why even bother with a question like this? The answer is simple.

Move on.

Just because you approach a woman, doesn't mean she has to be receptive to you. I highly disagree with your statement on cold approaching being the best method to meet women. I think in a lot of ways, it's one of the worst ways to do it. Approaches should basically only happen when she's made it clear that she's interested, even in the slightest. When there's no eye contact or anything like this, she's automatically on the defensive because you're in her personal space without an invite and she's caught off guard.

Guys can disagree with me, here, but I'm just saying what I know based on my own experience.

Stop trying to generate interest where no interest exists and go find real interest that you can use to cultivate further attraction.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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slaog

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Attraction is in the mind. Attractive people love themselves and are confident and happy which gives out a sort of energy that draws people towards them. They don't have to do anything to attract people, they just have to be themselves.


AFC's are the opposite. They think negatively about themselves in terms of women liking them. They need women for their own happiness, which - if you actually break it down - means that they're draining women of energy instead of adding to it.


So you have to become an attractive person by thinking good things about yourself. Don't focus on anything negative, focus on the positive. When talking to women keep the thought in your mind that they're lucky to be talking to you and not the other way around etc.
 

Plinco

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correct me if I am wrong, but I would add to the above post that one needs to have integrity that one is achieving the things that one values.

In other words, you cannot just like yourself unless you have reasons to like yourself. Some people are harder on themselves because they expect more, and therefore have to work harder to achieve the level of values that makes themselves feel acceptable.

So you cannot go after the girl you want unless you become the person you want to be.
 

Iceberg

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slaog said:
Attraction is in the mind. Attractive people love themselves and are confident and happy which gives out a sort of energy that draws people towards them. They don't have to do anything to attract people, they just have to be themselves.


AFC's are the opposite. They think negatively about themselves in terms of women liking them. They need women for their own happiness, which - if you actually break it down - means that they're draining women of energy instead of adding to it.


So you have to become an attractive person by thinking good things about yourself. Don't focus on anything negative, focus on the positive. When talking to women keep the thought in your mind that they're lucky to be talking to you and not the other way around etc.
I think you just about nailed it.

It's not so much about creating interest and attraction, it's about being an interesting and attractive person. Working out, or playing sports. Being active. Traveling. Smiling. Being happy with yourself.

Gotta go out there and experience life. Once you do, you'll always have something attractive or interesting to say.

Also, some women are just lame. They might be pretty on the outside, but they could be the female equivalent of a male loser. They have boring interests or they're just bad at conversation. Can't win them all.
 

Deicide

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Iceberg said:
I think you just about nailed it.

It's not so much about creating interest and attraction, it's about being an interesting and attractive person. Working out, or playing sports. Being active. Traveling. Smiling. Being happy with yourself.

Gotta go out there and experience life. Once you do, you'll always have something attractive or interesting to say.

Also, some women are just lame. They might be pretty on the outside, but they could be the female equivalent of a male loser. They have boring interests or they're just bad at conversation. Can't win them all.
Thanks everyone for the advice. I do lift weights/workout 4-5 times a week, and the place I work out at is actually a good place to do cold approaches at. I don't do them to get numbers there immediately, I just to try and build rapport and gain a psychogical edge(If I have no fear of approaching any woman, I can approach anyone I want). I also play guitar an hour a day and learn foreign languages(Spanish, Norwegian, and Portuguese), and play pool too. So I have a lot to use to my advantage, I'll just have to keep this in mind as I keep approaching women.
Actually during a cold approach on an attractive Asian girl today, talking about my weight lifting schedule made her more conversational and interested in what I had to say. At first, I asked "Hey, what are you working on today?", and she let out a surprised laugh, but things went much smoother as we got into conversation. It was decent. I do need to ask some more open-ended questions that can generate interesting conversation though.
 
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