"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How do I change relationship to longterm status??

picard

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I need advices from everyone about my relationship with new woman. I went out with her on 2dates. She is shy person who hasn't dated since 19yrs old. She is now 34yrs old.


How do I take this relationship to longterm status? What the heck should I do? I am out of practice in this area.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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OpenMind

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How do I change a relationship to long term status??

You don't, she does.....
 

Heretolearn

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good posts by both.

Read the Bible and retain your 'self'

Give attention when you want to but not all the time.

All the time means you show your worst and your best. Limit it to giving attention when you want to and that will mean you show your best side!
 

MacAvoy

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Re: How do I change a relationship to long term status??

Originally posted by OpenMind
You don't, she does.....
First off Picard, glad to see your starting to see a little more success.

Secondly, this is the second time I've noticed that your trying to be too eager. A common AFC mistake. I don't mean to call you down, but I would just like to point out that you are clinging too much to your successes and looking for too much from the women you date. For example your previous thread where you want to jump into society's old failing AFC traps of buying a women's love.

It almost seems to me like you need a women to complete you. You should work on being content w/ yourself, and being able to be alone before you will achieve success at the next level in your relationship.
 

Chrispy

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MacAvoy has many good points. Try not to rush things. I find that the more eager I am, the more she will back off. Let her decide when it gets to relationship status. Don't have any kind of agenda but treat her well without making it feel as if there are strings attached.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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