How do I become a rapper?

[6-heads lewis]

After drooling over the girls in several rap videos (Olivia is so fukn sexy in Candy Shop! I would forfeit my bank account to plough her in the pooper just once!), I've come to the conclusion that the most efficient means of getting laid is becoming a rapper. They dont have to try - you simply perform a concert, and rest assured thats dozens of big-bootied jizz swallowers will run to your room offering every open orfice. Even ugly rappers like Bubba Sparxxx get more pvssy than the biggest DJ on this site.

It doesn't seem to require much talent, which makes it ideal.

Heres the problem: Im white, nerdy, pale, articulate, formal, with minimal criminal connections, and no criminal record. I dont have any guns nor do I sell drugs.

I am willing to invest in gold teeth, an expensive and oversized car, flashy rims, and unnecessarily gaudy jewelry.

This is my sosuave challenge: Turn me into a rapper so I can get laid more frequently!

Whats in it for you? Fvck off.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

Ha it's harder than it looks. I dare any average guy to make a "rap song" and have it be a hit. My friend and I make songs..and even though we feel they're pretty good, they're far from "good" in the eyes of other people.

It's not the best way to get laid. Given what you've said, you'll get even less positive attention than you're receiving now.

I'd recommend buying a microphone off Ebay, then downloading the program Audacity (it's free, no need to worry about pirating) and then go to www.soundclick.com and find some free beats, download them, and then write. I'd work on your content before worrying about the "visual" aspect of things.

www.myspace.com/vokalmindz

I like them when I first hear them, but I get tired real soon. That's my friend and I. He's Venezuelan, I'm white, and I feel he's a lot better than myself.

Word Content
Delivery

Those two things right there should be given the utmost attention.

 

[6-heads lewis]

Cool ideas, good luck with your music. It wont work for me since I dont have any talent, Im looking to follow the path of Lil John, that guy who wrote 'Let your Chain Hang Low', or Juvenile from the song 'Uh', where he literally just grunted incoherently for an entire track.

Maybe If I could perform in a local concert with the appearance of talent and street cred, like I just yell really loud into the microphone or lip snc or something. I can claim that Im releasing an album next year and signed with a major record label or something.

It's not the best way to get laid. Given what you've said, you'll get even less positive attention than you're receiving now.

Im not sure what you mean by this. Remmber in 'The Game' where Strauss entered a club and everyone thought he was Moby? Every woman in the club was coming onto him, even a married women slipped her phone number when her husband left the table!

And that's Moby! He's short, skinny, bald and ugly. Im no looker but Im better looking than him.

A similar idea I had was joining someone's enteourage, just being one of the dozen hangers-on, present only to pad the famous person's ego and feed off of their leftovers. But how? Perhaps becoming a bodyguard? Or some kind of career adviser?

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Welcome to SoSuave!

We do everything from diagnosing Cancer online to heping start up Music Careers.

 

[Oxide]

Either you are a complete idiot or a comedic genius, I can't decide!

 

[DJDamage]

The amount of energy and time to get you to become a rap star will be much better served and easier in becoming a DJ. You don't need talent to become a DJ or PUA just dedication.

Is it just me or do I really don't see a difference between the cvm swallowing girls in a rap music video and the high end stripper/escort girl you can get in your local paper who will probably do it for $200 a pop?!(if you are that desperate to get some). It will be faster, quicker, cheaper and you don't have to worry about the sexual harrasment lawsuit's or the illegitimate kids running around who needs to be payed $10,000 child support each month so little Tyrone can go to a private school.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

post a picture of yourself please.

 

[WaterTiger]

Call Kevin Federline or Vanilla Ice. Two very successful white rappers.....NOT!

 

[Oxide]

Call Kevin Federline or Vanilla Ice. Two very successful white rappers.....NOT!

Another reason why no woman should ever attempt to be a comedian.

 

[6-heads lewis]

Thats correct DJD, Ive contemplated the escort route plenty of times. Ive found girls in thelocal paper who will go as low as 100$.

The thing is that being famous - or in the good favour of famous people - brings many perks, such as free seats to sporting events, celebrity connections, wealth, and lots of tacos. You also get to avoid public transit. If you can achieve notoriety for a brief period, you can milk it for another decade, look at Coolio!

 

[Oxide]

But how do you avoid the cheese grabbin hoes?

and how do you find true love when everyone is out for your status?

and how do you stay on top year after year?

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

what's your name?

you can be like mike jones and not shut the hell up and yell your name in all of your songs.

then you can start your song about how "Back then they didn't want me, now I'm hot they all on me"

it's amazing how much rappers are able to talk about themselves.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

What I meant about the "less positive attention"

If you're bad, you will be known as a horrible rapper. A goon. An idiot.

 

[LA_Chico]

Your rap name will be "The Blizzard" bro

 

[mpimpin]

I remember seeing an episode of Made on MTV with a kid named Blizzard. I actually met that kid this summer and watched him battle. I must say it was a terrible site. I hope you have better skills then he does

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

http://www.gamespot.com/ps/puzzle/parappatherapper/player_review.html?id=215997

 

[djbr]

Thats correct DJD, Ive contemplated the escort route plenty of times. Ive found girls in thelocal paper who will go as low as 100$.

A hundred DOLLARS? LOL ho's are expensive in your area...

I can clearly why having game is not really a option for American guys :crackup: